Parents
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| blow Bleeding on the Floor  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 1137 | dee dee ramone.: Well my point was that the specific gender roles don't matter. Just that you can look up to someone of the same sex as you that is a good person. It's important to have some role model of the same sex, because whether it's fair or not, men and women are treated differently, so it's nice to have someone of the same sex that you admire and can identify with as a man/women. I've changed my mind of the father figure thing. A single parent or a same sex couple can still be bother a mother and a father figure to their children regardless of the gender. Shiny!: Oh wow. That's...yeah. |
| Mindfuck Always Born a Crime  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614 | In my opinion, I think we focus way too much on gender roles when discussing parenting and parents. They have their place, but I personally don't see them as being that important. I feel that as long as the child grows up to be one that is tolerant and / or accepting of people who are different from on the basis of sex, race, religion, sexuality, class etc., then I can't see where the parent has gone wrong. Who cares of a boy was raised by his mother and turns out to be less than what society expects a man to be like? Who cares if a girl grows up only surrounded by men and turns out to be less than what society expects a woman to be like? What do you think the world would be like if we were all stereotypes of our sex - either macho, manly men or dainty, passive women? Personally, I'm glad we have variations. This is 2008. Gender roles are not as influential as they were 50 years ago. We live in an age where it's not uncommon for single mothers and fathers to raise a child or children, so why can't we adapt to that and accept the fact that some boys will grow up without a strong father figure, and some girls will grow up without a strong mother figure. As I said before, to me the only thing that really matters with parenting is if the parents have raised them to be genuine people. Irrespective of gender roles and stereotypes. |
| Faye Merci Salute You in Your Grave  Age: - Gender: - Posts: 4473 | Eponine: (forgive the tangent, folks) Personally, I hate the boxing in of gay couples when people try to figure out who's the "man" or the "woman" in the relationship. Not only is this sexist, (by assuming that all women are going to take the passive role in their relationships, and all men are going to be uncaring and macho) but it's stupid. Obviously, if it's a lesbian couple, neither of the women are the "man" because they're not men. Same as in a male gay couple. It's stupid to label them with the heterosexual relationship status of "man and woman" when they aren't, there isn't a woman involved. Personally, I think that's just another form of prejudice that our society has yet to live out of. We've got to realize that seeing gay couples in a straight way just to make ourselves feel comfortable is just as bad as denying them rights or committing hate crimes against them. If it's a two man relationship, then there is no woman in the relationship. If it's a two woman relationship, then there is no man in the relationship. Because none of them are the gender you're implying. It's just boxing people in. |
| blow Bleeding on the Floor Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 1137 | Faye Merci: I'm not talking about the 'man' role or the 'woman' role. A lesbian parent may fit the 'father figure' role if, per say, she had a son who felt comfortable talking to her about things that a son usually talks about with his father, the inverse for a girl. I wasn't talking about who is the man or women in the relationship, nor was I assuming anything about passive women or uncaring macho men. That is not what I am talking about. There is a difference between 'father figure' and 'man'. |
| Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614 | Eponine: Eponine: Not according to you... Eponine: No where, when this whole gender role topic was brought up, did you mention that (according to you) a woman could fulfill the fatherly role. You seemed to be very set that a man had to fulfill the fatherly role. Which also contradicts what you said about gender roles not mattering to you. |
| blow Bleeding on the Floor Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 1137 | I did say that, I'm going to edit that post because I didn't really mean it like that. Although I did say that a single mother can fill both roles. And a boy will probably have a man that he looks up to, but the actual 'father figure' in his life doesn't have to be a man. In my (very weak) defense, the two posts where on two different types of parents. Obviously in gay/lesbian parents gender roles do not apply at all. While a single parent or heterosexual parents the father and mother roles apply more. With a heterosexual two parent family a father would give his son the 'birds and the bees' talk and a mother would explain things like the menstrual cycle and how to use a tampon. (Something I don't think any father would enjoy doing) And also the relationship between a mother and son, mother and daughter, father and son, father and daughter are completely different. |
| temptation. Shotgun Sinner  Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 8676 | I think fathers are really necessery to us.Yes,maybe some of you will ask me why,but I have a prove that men actually can give very good advices to their daughters.I read a survey in which was was made the statement that girls are more tied up to their fathers. My dad has been taking care of me since I was second grade,because my mum is an alcoholic and she was beating me.Yes,he uses my grandparents' help,but I think that he's the greatest dad and he does everything for me and I will do everything for him. We argue a lot but we have a very strong relationship and we're best friends.He always gives me the right advices and I follow them most of the time. I just love him more than anything. But I can't say the same for my mother.I said before some of my problems with her. I don't hate her,because after all,she gave birh to me,but she hurts me a lot.I can't change her,and I'm not trying anymore,cause it's a lost cause. |
| IceHog69 Bulletproof Heart  Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 25232 | Apparently, if a girl has a good relationship with her father, she will find men that resemble her father attractive, and if it was a bad relationship, she will be attracted to men that are the polar opposite of them. I am unsure what the results are if the father was absent, or was female as suggested by the gay parent debate going on. I think as long as a parent listens to the child's 'man issues' (for want of a better phrase, and responds in a suitable way, then any one can be that father figure. For another angle - After birth, and breast feeding, are mother's really necessary? |
| blow Bleeding on the Floor Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 1137 | ChipmunkOnKetamine: I've heard of that too. I was wondering if the same thing is true with boys and their mothers. Although it seems to me that while some daughters have extremely close relationships with their fathers boys aren't the same with their mothers. That's just the impression I get. Mothers? Well someone has to take care of the baby until it can fend for itself. I don't suppose it has to be a mother, but someone has to do it. More often than not it is the mother who gets stuck with the child (If say, the father runs out, you don't really hear about mothers leaving the father with a child, but I'm sure it happens) |
| tiny-t Killjoy  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 80 | i think dads are not give enough credit. when i was young my mum and dad split up, and i had to go and live with my mum. and she made my dad out to be evil, but now i no that she made it all up, and if i could i would go and live with him insted of my mum. |
| Heybaberiba Fabulous Killjoy  Age: 46 Gender: Female Posts: 131 | I think there is a difference between a "male influence" and a father figure. The male influence doesn't have to be a part of the family. I would honestly love if more stable and reasonable men talked about the role of a father, husband or just the role as a man. When it comes to hating your family, I believe that you should show your family more respect and understanding than you would show a stranger, or a workmate etc. The family shouldn't have to deal with rudeness and take shit cause "they are family" family bonds should be extra cared for compared to all other bonds there is. |
| blow Bleeding on the Floor Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 1137 | Heybaberiba: So true, unless there's some extenuating circumstance (abuse) then you should cherish your family. I know a lot of kids who always swear at their parents, telling them to 'F*** off', 'Go to hell' or calling their mothers 'B****'. I've even heard kids tell their parents that they 'wish they would F****** die'. All over something like not being allowed to have a party. It's really horrible, and I feel really bad, because I've told my parents some pretty awful things. You should definitely respect your parents more. |
| Thug Life. Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 33 Gender: Male Posts: 1315 | Faye Merci: Well its just a cultural difference isn't it ? Being Filipino i was raised on very traditionalist values, having a strong father figure is one of them. I think it is important to have that strong father figure so you have a sort of blueprint of how to be when to grow up. i mean fair enough your brother was been raised his whole life without a father, but its just something the importance of father in our culture is paramount, its hard to explain. |
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