| Author | Message |
|---|
Captain Bumout
Wild Eyed Joker
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 87451 | September 7th, 2013 at 09:54pm
No matter how many times I look at the pictures of you laying there in your casket I still can't believe you're gone.
Even there you look like you're just playing around.
I know you're in a box buried deep below but it just doesn' seem real.
That's the one thing I honestly didn't think would happen to me..at least not so soon and in that way. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 9th, 2013 at 01:09pm Its so easy for me to get depressed these days. I used to have to force myself to cry at a bad situation. Now, I have to force myself not to cry at any situation. Even the littlest thing can depress me. I wish I knew what happened to me. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | September 9th, 2013 at 01:57pm you know that you've had an extremely difficult life when your own therapist tells you that you've been through more things in your life than most people your age. however, i've been trying my best to stay positive, despite everything that has happened. i will not let what happened 13 years ago ruin my day tomorrow. there's no point in shedding tears over her. those won't bring her back. i won't even let myself cry over the other person anymore, and she hasn't even been gone for 3 months yet. i'm trying so hard to focus on the good times, and to be thankful to have those moments in my life. i just hope and pray that i have the strength to remain positive. |
fire at will.
Damned After All
Age: 35
Gender: -
Posts: 105653 | September 10th, 2013 at 12:28am Richey Edwards.:Its so easy for me to get depressed these days. I used to have to force myself to cry at a bad situation. Now, I have to force myself not to cry at any situation. Even the littlest thing can depress me. I wish I knew what happened to me. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 10th, 2013 at 11:00am I wish we could be friends again. But its not that simple. Or maybe it is. Who knows? You seem pretty happy, maybe I should drop it. |
beaker;
Ghostbuster Famous
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 71107 | September 15th, 2013 at 12:50pm Today I thought about doing something to myself, and it really seemed appealing. And now I'm scared to be left alone... which I am. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 16th, 2013 at 06:44pm Maybe if I were better you'd wanna do that for me.
Or maybe im just too selfish.
One thing is asking too much I suppose.
As long as you're happy, ill be fine. |
beaker;
Ghostbuster Famous
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 71107 | September 18th, 2013 at 12:32am I wish I was in the hospital. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 18th, 2013 at 07:38pm Its so weird seeing these girls from my town excited to be on the Springer Show. Sorry, but that doesn't make you a celebrity. |
beaker;
Ghostbuster Famous
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 71107 | September 23rd, 2013 at 05:15pm The only reason why I don't hurt myself is because I don't want to have to explain why I did it. |
cricket.
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69728 | September 25th, 2013 at 01:57pm
My therapist thinks I have a binge drinking problem.
I don't think I have a problem, but isn't that what people with problems always say?
|
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 29th, 2013 at 10:22pm Im such a failure. Ugh, seriously. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | September 29th, 2013 at 11:44pm just when i think i've finally managed to overcome my fear, i end up having another creepy dream involving her coming back to life. why can't my subconscious just accept the fact that she's dead and she's never going to come back? it makes me feel so vulnerable and weak, and i really can't afford to go back to my therapist again. he told me to rationalize everything, and i thought that i had. so why do i keep having those fucked up dreams? |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 1st, 2013 at 10:45am I actually like Obamacare. No, its not perfect and could use adjustments, but it doesn't completely suck either. For years people have been complaining about not being able to see a doctor because they don't have healthcare, and now that they have it, they still complain. I understand its not perfect, and needs to be fixed so it actually helps SOME people, but all in all its a good idea. We don't need to abolish it completely. Just fix it. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | October 3rd, 2013 at 02:07pm something has got to change, i just know it. however, i'm not exactly sure how to go by changing it. i keep hoping that he will, but i can tell that he's too shy. i know what's stopping me, and i'm working so hard on fighting my own mind. the fact that they both had loved ones that died at early ages was extremely odd, but that doesn't guarantee that it will happen to me. i need to set aside my fear and be happy for once. i just hope that i can overcome it and be brave enough to make the change, or else i'll be stuck for the rest of my life. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 13th, 2013 at 08:47pm Wow, you're actually stupider than I give you credit for. Good job. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | October 13th, 2013 at 10:05pm what if i end up being the one in the family with mental illnesses? after all, my grandfather had issues. my uncle does, and my aunt's son does. my uncle's didn't really start until he was in his 50's. but now it is so bad that his wife is thinking about divorcing him. my parents have three children, so i'm assuming one of us is bound to end up with it. i feel like i'd be the one. after all, i'm the only one that has had to go see a therapist. i'm the weakling out of the bunch, with a messed up mind. i'm just so afraid that as i get older, i'll get worse. then i'll end up out of control like my grandfather was, and like my uncle and cousin currently are. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 14th, 2013 at 10:09pm Maybe one day |
Young London.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 10039 | October 15th, 2013 at 04:53am Its been so long since I've posted in here.
So many things happened, both good and bad. I would never imagine my life to be this way. I met someone last month...but he's 3,918 miles away from me.
He is so different from other men. I don't even know where to start. He makes me feel like life is worth living. He lives his life to the fullest and I just wish I could be like him. Someone who enjoys life and inspire others with his positivity.
We've been skyping for 2 weeks now. Its always fun to talk to him. I don't know if he knows that I like him but I think he does. Ugh that's not even the point really.
He makes me question myself. "What the hell am I doing with my life?"
I want to learn so many things. I want to dance. Do yoga. Meditate. Join drama classes, start my own running club and all that jazz but oh god...the amount of money needed for all that.
I just want to be more interesting, you know? because whenever he asked me what I've been up to, i'm like nothing much. just the normal stuffs.
I really want to change that so I've been going cray in figuring out what I enjoy doing. Yup, that's pretty much it. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | October 15th, 2013 at 09:40am i want to be his girlfriend so bad. each time we hang out, i keep hoping that he'll go ahead and ask me. but, he seems so shy that it's taking longer than expected. part of me just wants to go ahead and do it myself, but i'm too nervous. i don't want to mess anything up between us. |
