| Author | Message |
|---|
beaker;
Ghostbuster Famous
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 71107 | October 17th, 2013 at 12:22am
I let myself get upset again. I know he's just a naturally forgetful guy, and it's part of what makes him adorable. And I knew in that moment how wrong I was. But there was still that part of me that said "he forgot because you're not important enough. He forgot because no one likes you that much." My brain went into shut down mode and slipped out before anyone knew I was gone.
I hate that I'm like that. I hate that I've become that. I don't know if I was always like this and only now know what's wrong, or if I'm just making excuses for myself. |
brandleys;
Death Defying
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 186346 | October 20th, 2013 at 04:50am I hate me. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 20th, 2013 at 06:57pm I wish you could see how I feel about it. I mean, I know you acknowledge it and I don't wanna make you feel bad for doing something you wanna do, its just a crushing feeling when I know that it's something I worry like crazy over and absolutely hate the thought of, and I have zero control over it. Although I guess this is my problem for being a worrying idiot. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | October 20th, 2013 at 11:00pm i know that i shouldn't feel this way,
but i hope he's noticed, and i hope he's jealous. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 21st, 2013 at 06:44pm Nothing I say is ever good enough, is it? Maybe if you'd start being a boss instead of a bitch you'd be better off. |
stereo typical.
Tragic With a Capital T
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 46847 | October 21st, 2013 at 08:54pm I'm so glad I went and talked to you about this. And I really appreciate you bumped my marks up slightly, even if I don't deserve that. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 21st, 2013 at 11:08pm Okay, tomorrow I'm just going to sit quietly (because every time I speak I'm wrong, so why even bother?), and listen to what you have to say and try not to burst out laughing at the fact you think you know what you're talking about. I'm on thin ice, I already know this. The only reason I'm on thin ice is because the workplace is now so strict that nobody can blink without being told it's wrong. Anytime I speak or move I'm called down to the office. And every time has been for a bullshit reason that wasn't even a problem until you came along. Nobody complained about anything I did until you came to a position of power. Every single one of us has a target on our backs, and I'm pretty sure me and a few others are your prime targets. Everyone else comes later I reckon. For whatever reason, you don't like me. That's fine, I don't like you either, but I hold my tongue. Your "corrective criticism" isn't what you think it is. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 25th, 2013 at 08:21pm - |
Young London.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 10039 | October 26th, 2013 at 08:31am my counsellor said I might have a mood disorder, chemical imbalance in my brain and she's going to refer me to a professional ASAP.
I'm scared. I'm scared to find out if I actually have it. Keeping myself alive has been kind of hard lately but I'm trying. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | October 28th, 2013 at 10:37am i sincerely hope that they decide not to live together next year, because i really don't want to have to move out in early january. i will have no where else to go except back to my parents. i just think that would be embarrassing at this point in my life, especially since i just got in a relationship. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | October 31st, 2013 at 11:36am What I usually look forward to on Halloween: Pajama day, seeing the kids and hyping them up on candy. Just having a super awesome day
What I'm looking forward to on this Halloween: Sitting around, doing dishes, buying groceries, being sad. |
ab aeterno.
Lost My Fear of Falling
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 93820 | November 2nd, 2013 at 08:30am Mom and bro got into a really intense screaming match last night.
I thought I was the crazy one, but definitely not after that.
And that worries me. What could've happened if I hadn't walked through that door... |
DeWitt.
Crash Queen
Age: 31
Gender: -
Posts: 31119 | November 4th, 2013 at 10:15pm Kind of blows my mind that I still remembered my username and password.
Kind of blows my mind that my account still exists.
I mean, seven years. How's that even real? |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | November 5th, 2013 at 09:57am i'm trying my best to focus on the positive side of having to move back in with my parents. at least i'll be able to save more money, and i can finally buy a new car. but still, i know that my mother feels terrible about it, which makes me feel terrible. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | November 5th, 2013 at 11:07am I know I need a second job. I just cant get motivated for some reason. Ever since I lost my other job I've barely been motivated to get out of bed. At the moment, I'm pretty much living with no income because I'm only getting one day a week, for a few hours. It's hardly worth it. I really need to go get my cosmetology license. I know I'll be miserable doing that, but I'll be miserable either way. At least if I go into cosmetology I'll be miserable with some money to pay bills. Its embarrassing I have to ask my mom to start giving me some extra cash for doing more around the house. I'm getting sick of going backwards. Maybe when he graduates college and is able to get a really good job things will start to look up. But that's probably a good couple years away. Where the fuck is my motivation? I think I left it all at my old job. |
beaker;
Ghostbuster Famous
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 71107 | November 9th, 2013 at 12:31am I really have a hard time believing I'm going to make it past christmas |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | November 9th, 2013 at 06:43pm This isn't working put the way we discussed. Knowing its out of my control makes it worse. |
beaker;
Ghostbuster Famous
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 71107 | November 11th, 2013 at 06:23pm Is it really any surprise that I feel unimportant? And it's not much the desire to feel important. Just that I'm not important enough to fit into anyone's lives. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | November 11th, 2013 at 11:08pm I'm so weird. Seriously, even when I'm feeling the tiniest bit sick, I'm literally convinced I'm dying. I'm terrified I wont wake up the next morning. I know that's stupid, but I cant help it. I'm feeling it right now, ugh. |
malibu.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: 30
Gender: -
Posts: 54114 | November 12th, 2013 at 06:58am I'm so not fucking okay. |
