The Confessions Thread

Board index - The INO Chamber

Author	Message
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	February 17th, 2014 at 05:52pm My birthday is tomorrow, and I don't even feel like celebrating. I seriously just wanna act like its just another regular day. I don't want cake, I don't want a present, I just want to go about my day like its nothing special. Why doesn't anyone get that?
exterminate. Shotgun Sinner Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 9830	February 17th, 2014 at 06:36pm i come on INO every so often to see how many people are on and how its going. although i feel like my life and I have changed a lot since being on here regularly, i can't help really miss the times when INO and MCR were such a huge chunk of my life. and i'm really grateful that i found this website, and made friends with all the lovely people on here because of such a wonderful band. it was an awesome community of people and without the band i never would've found it. without mcr and ino i wouldn't be who I am today.
wednesday. In the Cannibal Glow Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 53026	February 18th, 2014 at 01:44pm i know that it was just a crazy dream last night, and that he doesn't actually feel that way, but it is still bothering me today. i know that he went through a lot last year, and i don't get to hang out with him as often as i used to. i don't want him to think that i don't care. we just don't live in the same apartment complex anymore, so it is difficult for us to hang out. but, i need to try harder to make time for him.
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	February 19th, 2014 at 10:27am I wish I knew why nobody will hire me. Is it because I don't have any cashier experience? Is it because I got fired from a previous job? Is it because daycare is really all I know besides two months of being a greeter? Someone tell me before I go insane.
cricket. Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights Age: - Gender: - Posts: 69728	February 20th, 2014 at 01:38pm I'm really starting to hate tumblr. All the whiney SJWs, the rumors, the blowing things out of proportion, I could go on forever. Which sucks because I have met some awesome people there, but the bad is starting to outweigh the good... SIDENOTE: I think the only reason I stay on this site is because it's such a small community. Therefore very little to no drama.
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	February 23rd, 2014 at 11:22pm Is it selfish that I don't want you to have a birthday party? I know you'll be turning 21 and you'll be drinking, I guess it bothers me that I know it'll be heavy drinking. I don't like it when you drink. Especially heavy drinking. I don't drink, so I wont be there obviously. I just hope you'll tone it down after your birthday. Please?
severus. Awake and Unafraid Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 12901	February 26th, 2014 at 05:48pm exterminate.: i come on INO every so often to see how many people are on and how its going. although i feel like my life and I have changed a lot since being on here regularly, i can't help really miss the times when INO and MCR were such a huge chunk of my life. and i'm really grateful that i found this website, and made friends with all the lovely people on here because of such a wonderful band. it was an awesome community of people and without the band i never would've found it. without mcr and ino i wouldn't be who I am today.
severus. Awake and Unafraid Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 12901	February 26th, 2014 at 05:57pm I still have love for MCR, but sometimes I wish this site could turn into a general chat forum for young women, promote itself as such, and bring this site back to life. I love this board, it's probably the most attractive layout/format/etc I've ever posted on, and I'd probably be a regular again if it wasn't so fucking D E A D. It breaks my heart a little, tbh.
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	February 27th, 2014 at 03:05pm I know I'm frustrating you guys. Its because I'm losing hope. I know that's not a good attitude to have, but being optimistic hasn't worked. Its been four months, but it feels like four years. No place wants to hire me. Even the place "that's always hiring" and "hires anybody" doesn't want me. I don't know why. If I did, I'd change it. That really gets you down after a while. It's hard to find places hiring when it's not the holiday season. It's not even annoying anymore, its depressing. I turn in applications and I call and I call, but nobody wants me. Nobody wants someone who only knows daycare and only two months of retail. I can't work at another daycare, not after what my old boss wrote about me. I know I can't do much, but I'm willing to learn. I'm a fast learner most of the time, I just cant get the chance to show it. I honestly don't know what else everybody wants me to do. But I do know one thing, you guys constantly jumping down my back and telling me to do this and that is not helping. I'm doing this and that and then some. If I could be like mom and find a job within a week of losing my old one, I would've. Maybe if I'd been better at cosmetology I would've passed my test and had somewhere to go, but it didn't work out that way. And right now, I don't have the money to try again. Just, please, understand that I'm trying as hard as I know how. Give me a break, cause I can't afford to give myself one.
severus. Awake and Unafraid Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 12901	February 27th, 2014 at 04:44pm Richey Edwards.: I know I'm frustrating you guys. Its because I'm losing hope. I know that's not a good attitude to have, but being optimistic hasn't worked. Its been four months, but it feels like four years. No place wants to hire me. Even the place "that's always hiring" and "hires anybody" doesn't want me. I don't know why. If I did, I'd change it. That really gets you down after a while. It's hard to find places hiring when it's not the holiday season. It's not even annoying anymore, its depressing. I turn in applications and I call and I call, but nobody wants me. Nobody wants someone who only knows daycare and only two months of retail. I can't work at another daycare, not after what my old boss wrote about me. I know I can't do much, but I'm willing to learn. I'm a fast learner most of the time, I just cant get the chance to show it. I honestly don't know what else everybody wants me to do. But I do know one thing, you guys constantly jumping down my back and telling me to do this and that is not helping. I'm doing this and that and then some. If I could be like mom and find a job within a week of losing my old one, I would've. Maybe if I'd been better at cosmetology I would've passed my test and had somewhere to go, but it didn't work out that way. And right now, I don't have the money to try again. Just, please, understand that I'm trying as hard as I know how. Give me a break, cause I can't afford to give myself one. Dude, I just came in here to vent about my job search too, haha. I've been out of work for six months now and even though I haven't been trying as hard as I could because I'm worried about how my anxiety and depression will affect my ability to work (I think it got in the way of my last job, at times), I HAVE been trying. You're right, you can put in all the job applications in the world but if no one's hiring... I really want to get out of retail but I don't know how right now. No one wants to give you a chance anymore. It really is depressing and it makes me wonder, "what's wrong with me/my application?" And like you, I didn't leave my last job under the best of conditions. I didn't get fired but I got so fed up one day, I quit with one day's notice. So yeah... just hang in there. Someone will have to hire us eventually lmao.
wednesday. In the Cannibal Glow Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 53026	February 28th, 2014 at 10:34am she's been gone for exactly 8 months now. i wish that i was strong, like my brother. he can easily mention her name and not even appear to break down. when i even think about her, tears fill my eyes and i have to fight hard to keep from crying. just when i think i'll finally be okay, i have yet another dream about her.
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	February 28th, 2014 at 05:17pm chapter black.: Richey Edwards.: I know I'm frustrating you guys. Its because I'm losing hope. I know that's not a good attitude to have, but being optimistic hasn't worked. Its been four months, but it feels like four years. No place wants to hire me. Even the place "that's always hiring" and "hires anybody" doesn't want me. I don't know why. If I did, I'd change it. That really gets you down after a while. It's hard to find places hiring when it's not the holiday season. It's not even annoying anymore, its depressing. I turn in applications and I call and I call, but nobody wants me. Nobody wants someone who only knows daycare and only two months of retail. I can't work at another daycare, not after what my old boss wrote about me. I know I can't do much, but I'm willing to learn. I'm a fast learner most of the time, I just cant get the chance to show it. I honestly don't know what else everybody wants me to do. But I do know one thing, you guys constantly jumping down my back and telling me to do this and that is not helping. I'm doing this and that and then some. If I could be like mom and find a job within a week of losing my old one, I would've. Maybe if I'd been better at cosmetology I would've passed my test and had somewhere to go, but it didn't work out that way. And right now, I don't have the money to try again. Just, please, understand that I'm trying as hard as I know how. Give me a break, cause I can't afford to give myself one. Dude, I just came in here to vent about my job search too, haha. I've been out of work for six months now and even though I haven't been trying as hard as I could because I'm worried about how my anxiety and depression will affect my ability to work (I think it got in the way of my last job, at times), I HAVE been trying. You're right, you can put in all the job applications in the world but if no one's hiring... I really want to get out of retail but I don't know how right now. No one wants to give you a chance anymore. It really is depressing and it makes me wonder, "what's wrong with me/my application?" And like you, I didn't leave my last job under the best of conditions. I didn't get fired but I got so fed up one day, I quit with one day's notice. So yeah... just hang in there. Someone will have to hire us eventually lmao. Gotta admit, that helped some. Thanks :3 And I see where you're coming from. I probably could be trying a little harder too, but it gets discouraging when nobody is hiring. Or when you finally find a place that's hiring, but they don't pick you. Story of my life though. I'm hoping something will come along when I least expect it. Best of luck to you
fire at will. Damned After All Age: 35 Gender: - Posts: 105653	March 3rd, 2014 at 11:00pm if anything bad ever happened to you, i would feel nothing. not like you have been a father to us anyways. everything your sister said to you was the truth, so i don't even know why you got mad at her.
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	March 4th, 2014 at 07:58pm How dare you? You're asleep 99% of the day, so for you to sit there and say I'm not doing enough to get a job is insulting. You don't see what I've been doing. You don't see how hard I've been trying. You don't see anything. You assume since you hear me online a lot, I must be wasting time. In fact, I'm filling out online applications. You can go fuck yourself.
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	March 9th, 2014 at 12:04pm The truth is, I'm still terrified of your birthday. I know there's gonna be lots of alcohol. I'm torn on whether or not to go to your party. I wont be any fun, and I want you to have fun. But I know I'm going to be extremely anxious and paranoid if I don't go. I don't drink, so I'll be the outcast of the group, or however many will be there. I'd feel more comfortable if you had some friends over here at the apartment or if you went over to L's house. I'm not gonna try and control what goes on at your party or where you have it, I just feel torn between going and being a complete killjoy, or not going and being paranoid to the point of making myself sick. Both sound absolutely terrible. I mean, it'll be your birthday weekend, you deserve to go out with your friends without your fiance being a party pooper and have an awesome time. Just the thought of you getting so drunk you're not gonna be able to function scares me. I don't wanna see you like that. I know, I know, it's because drinking isn't appealing to me. I don't even like attending functions where casual drinking will be going on. Honestly, I'd only be going to your party to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don't hurt yourself, or worse. I'm gonna feel like the selfish, asshole fiance if I don't go though. Ugh, why can't I be the kind of girl who thinks drinking is fun? That'd make it easier. It just scares the hell out of you when you don't drink and you always hear horror stories of people getting wasted and they end up cheating on their partner or doing something dangerous and end up getting severely injured or dead. I know these things happen to sober people too, it just makes you paranoid.
wednesday. In the Cannibal Glow Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 53026	March 11th, 2014 at 10:49am i'm still conflicted. i don't know what to do. but, many things need to be said tomorrow. i just hope i can say them in the nicest way possible. i don't want to make anyone upset.
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	March 11th, 2014 at 08:41pm That was literally the worst first day of my life. First, the girl who they had training me wasn't even supposed to be, so she was automatically annoyed with me and having to teach me. She made her annoyance with me pretty obvious too. She was annoyed that I didn't know how to fold a pizza box correctly. She was annoyed that I didn't know where anything was in the freezer. She was annoyed that I couldn't work the register. She was annoyed that I couldn't hear her tiny voice over all the noise. She was annoyed that I didn't know where to put my cleaning rag after I was done. And, to top it all off, a customer complained about me doing something that didn't even happen. I honestly don't wanna go back there.
sad savior; Wild Eyed Joker Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 86309	March 12th, 2014 at 08:18pm i know this isn't really healthy but i feel really proud of myself because all i've eaten today is a bowl of broccoli, some pineapple, and peanuts i shouldn't think like this but maybe if i can eat this little every day i'll be skinnier
malibu. In the Cannibal Glow Age: 30 Gender: - Posts: 54114	March 13th, 2014 at 06:12am Why is hate, anger, and sadness so glamourised? I hate that I hate everything. I am always serious. I don't smile naturally, or laugh at jokes. I scoff when people try to be funny. I'm not genuine. When I am, I feel like it's not appreciated. I'm the fakest person I know. Why am I like this? Why would anyone envy these emotions or think they're "cool" because they're fucking horrible to live with. That said, I don't know anything else. Who would I be if all this sadness and hate were to be taken away from me?
Richey Edwards. Demolition Lover Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 16507	March 13th, 2014 at 09:15am I hope this night is better than Tuesday. I know they're gonna put me at the one thing I cant do. I don't mind the experience and the one-on-one, but if they're gonna lose their patience with me and make me wanna give up, I just might. I've never done anything food service before. Although, if I wanna give myself some credit, I did an okay job at the salad bar. I'd have a hard time remembering how to work the giant can opener, and remembering were certain things are, but I kept it clean and stocked pretty well I think. I really hope they decide to keep me there for a little while, because right now it's all I'm good at. I'd be depressed if I brought the company down and they had to let me go because I can't figure the register out.

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