| Author | Message |
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cricket.
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69728 | January 5th, 2015 at 09:48pm
I feel like I'm going to relapse soon.
i've been clean for such a long time and it kinda sucks. depression sucks. I want to feel something even if it's pain.
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wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | January 6th, 2015 at 10:37am i'm not really sure if i regret it or not.
part of me wants to regret it and part of me doesn't want to regret it.
however, i do know that i'm extremely pissed off about it at the moment. |
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 11747 | January 6th, 2015 at 10:57am I do way too much to be this far behind. Somethings gotta give, real soon or I'm gonna loose it. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | January 8th, 2015 at 10:46am I cant, and wont, leave him over a fantasy. That's exactly what this is. I truly believe he does have feelings for me. I can see it in his actions and how he speaks with me. However, believing it doesn't make it true. Unless I hear those words directly from his own mouth, this is the way things have to be. This is just some fantasy I've been holding on to. It really is time to let go. There will be a day he introduces me to some girl he's met and fallen for. It will tear me apart, but I have to be strong. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | January 9th, 2015 at 02:34pm it's official. the house that i grew up in and spent most of my life in so far no longer belongs to my parents. so many memories were made there. it hurts so much to think about how i'll never be able to walk through that house ever again. i hope i never forget what it was like, and all of the fond memories tied to it. i know that whoever bought it will probably remodel it completely, and it pains me to think about that. it was perfect just the way it was. fuck the shitty economy. i just want to see my parents happy again. i don't want them to feel bad about everything. |
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 11747 | January 9th, 2015 at 02:52pm I feel so happy anymore, like for the past three days. I smile when no one's looking and everything.
And you know what? I don't feel sorry about it. I earned this. And if me being happy, means that all of my friends are getting universally shit on, oh well.
|
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | January 9th, 2015 at 05:03pm I'm sick of depression. I'm sick of the internal torture. I just wanna feel. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | January 10th, 2015 at 08:46am I knew I'd chicken out. I'm making this harder than it really is. This is pathetic. |
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 11747 | January 10th, 2015 at 01:37pm i wish someone, anyone would look a me the way Frank does. I really feel like he's the only person in this entire world, who sees me for who i really am.
|
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | January 11th, 2015 at 03:28pm it really upsets me when people act like driving by a wreck scene is exciting. there is nothing exciting about the possibility of seeing someone seriously injured or even dead. i am still pissed about the other night when we drove past a bad wreck and my brother's friend made a comment about how seeing a wreck is exciting. what the fuck is wrong with people? my brother's girlfriend died in a wreck and his asshole of a friend said that right in front of him. wrecks aren't exciting. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | January 12th, 2015 at 06:48pm Dont act like we both dont know what will happen. I'm not moving to Miami. I'm not saying you cant. It's your choice not to go. In all honesty, you should. But we both know you wont, and instead you'll whine about how you wont go if I'm not. I'm not being plucked from everything and everyone I know. Sorry. |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | January 12th, 2015 at 06:56pm being second best in someone's life when you know that you should be first instead just really hurts. |
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 11747 | January 12th, 2015 at 11:54pm i feel suicidal.
|
beaker;
Ghostbuster Famous
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 71107 | January 13th, 2015 at 03:12pm I don't feel like I belong here anymore
like no one would care if I left |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | January 14th, 2015 at 02:04pm Maybe it will all be okay one day. I just hope I'm around to see that "one day". |
wednesday.
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53026 | January 16th, 2015 at 09:23pm it amazes me how a person can make you feel like you are perfect in every way and then that same person can turn around and make you feel like you are a pile of shit minutes later. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | January 16th, 2015 at 09:55pm We haven't spoken in weeks. I know it's not because we're fighting or anything like that. Your schedule is just hectic. It always has been. And it probably will be more since you're taking on that second job. And that's okay. I don't really mind it. It's just that when we don't talk, I don't really think of how much I love you and all that other bullshit. And while that may seem like a good thing, it's not. If this is what it takes to "get over you", I'd rather be a miserable slump. That's the honest truth. I'll be miserable with you before I'll ever be fine without you.
I have loved CJ a little more these past few weeks though. It's been nice. But I've also been forcing myself to talk and be more open. That's sucked, but not as bad as I thought it would.
I'd still rather have you. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | January 16th, 2015 at 09:55pm We haven't spoken in weeks. I know it's not because we're fighting or anything like that. Your schedule is just hectic. It always has been. And it probably will be more since you're taking on that second job. And that's okay. I don't really mind it. It's just that when we don't talk, I don't really think of how much I love you and all that other bullshit. And while that may seem like a good thing, it's not. If this is what it takes to "get over you", I'd rather be a miserable slump. That's the honest truth. I'll be miserable with you before I'll ever be fine without you.
I have loved CJ a little more these past few weeks though. It's been nice. But I've also been forcing myself to talk and be more open. That's sucked, but not as bad as I thought it would.
I'd still rather have you. |
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 11747 | January 17th, 2015 at 12:10am I honest to god don't know how i do it.
At least this will translate later on in life.
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sad savior;
Wild Eyed Joker
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 86309 | January 17th, 2015 at 12:58am i feel awful for going through with this. but i don't want anything other than a friendship with him. i hope he conveys that to his girlfriend. i don't want to interfere. i just appreciate my friendship with him. |
