Teenage marriage/engagement

cody is my man:

im sorry but i take affense to alot of this.. i am a teen mom of two kids and married and im 16. i take care of my children with my job and my husband i dont depend on anyone and we made that decision cuz we love eachother and were never apart

Theres no reason for you to be offended,some people will disagree on teenage marriage and some people will fully support it.
You've made your choice,but its not necesserily what all people will choose to do.

I personally couldnt get married at this age,or have a child and im happy the way i am.
Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half,and i care for him very much,but id never consider marriage until i was atleast past my 30's.

Theres alot of things that could happen that can wreck a relationship,when your a teenager,you think you know everything,you think nothing will bring you down,and then when it does you dont know how to handle it.
This is proberly the case for some adults to,but i honestly think being married as a teenager is a huge risk.

You may care about that person and love them,but who's to say mistakes wont be made,whos to say things wont happen that you cant forgive.

Id agree with a long engagement to make sure,this still says that your both commited,and that you will eventually marry,but i couldnt get married at such a young age.

If you think about it,you still have your whole life ahead of you to get married,why become so commited as a teenager.
You still have experiences to go through and lots of challenges.
Anything could happen in the next few years that could tear apart you and your partner,i know its not nessecerily because your young,but id imagine younger people would have a more, immature,unexperienced,reaction to problems rather than someone whos been through alot and has wisened.

i dont completely disagree with it,but at the same time i dont agree with how some teenagers are as in having sex with whoever they please,relationship after relationship.
I know being a teenager is about fun,but at some point youve got to grow up and settle down.

i dont want the partying and stuff.. its what i feel is my purpose in life.. it was the right decision and my husband agrees

sorru ot posted alot my comp is messing up

You feel your purpose in life is to be married with a child at 16?

no one mentioned 'partying and stuff'

All i and the person before me pointed out is that you have no reason to be offended.
This discussion isnt directly aimed at anyone in particular,its personal views and opinions.

cody is my man:

i dont want the partying and stuff.. its what i feel is my purpose in life.. it was the right decision and my husband agrees

That's YOU though, not a good majority of the teenage population. We all respect your decisions to be married with 2 kids and stuff, we're not judging, merely discussing (which is in the title of the forum section, btw) the pros and cons. You shouldn't be offended because nobody personally attacked you.

YOU'RE responsible enough to be married and have kids, but you can't speak for the whole teenage world. I know I wouldn't personally want to be in your situation because I don't know what I want to do with my life, quite yet. I have a job, but do I want to be spending my checks on family and kids alone? Not really, I still have to pay for school, get a car, and a bunch of other things. I doubt I'm remotely ready to raise a family because I'm still young and not mature enough. If you can handle these responsibilities, then go for it, but not many young people are and many are in similar "situations" as me.

but teenagers all seem to wanna party all the time.. drugs and drink its sad..

I think its sad also,i myself dont really get into that kind of stuff and im proud of it.

But its a lifestyle choice that that person chooses,its thier responsibility.

this isn't a topic to discuss the partying tendencies of teenagers, keep on topic please. you can use it to justify your views on the topic but just: "teenagers are partying and it's sad" contributes nothing to the topic of "teenage marriage/engagement".

Thanks.

look, im happy with my life. its what i want and i love it... dont judge me at all cuz ur not in my situation

but i think teenage marriage engagement is just fine

Sweetie, you've got to understand that nobody is judging you. This discussion is not aimed soley at you, and everyone is putting their opinion forward and explaining it. This is what a discussion is. Nobody is saying that you're a bad mother or immature or whatever. We're simply discussing the topic as a whole.

Flame Alchemist:

Sweetie, you've got to understand that nobody is judging you. This discussion is not aimed soley at you, and everyone is putting their opinion forward and explaining it. This is what a discussion is. Nobody is saying that you're a bad mother or immature or whatever. We're simply discussing the topic as a whole.

Plus youve contributed,so now people will discuss things that may be going on in your life,but its not directly aimed at you.

Sexy Mama:

look, im happy with my life. its what i want and i love it... dont judge me at all cuz ur not in my situation

1. You've made the bed, now lie in it. You're going to come up against resistance in your life due to the decisions you have made. Lucky for you, this is just the web, and it really doesn't matter at all. Stop freaking out about people judging you. it's going to happen, and you telling people not to do it will not stop them. There's nothing you can do.

2. You are holding up the discussion by taking every response as a statement directed at you. Your presence in the thread has brought out opinions, but that's what this thread is for. No one here has even said anything hurtful to you, or even judgmental - it just has people sharing their opinions on the situation because you came in here. Move on.

3. I am sick of people trying to convince you this isn't about you. It's off topic and unnecessary. You're an adult now, right? You don't seem to me like you need any sweet reassurance. So I'd like for you to remain on the topic of teen marriage and engagement at large, NOT simply as it pertains to you. You're welcome to share your experiences, such as how your parents reacted, challenges you face that others may share, etc. But stop getting all defensive and riled up because I really get sick of banning people for their stupidity in this area of the board.

Sexy Mama:

look, im happy with my life. its what i want and i love it... dont judge me at all cuz ur not in my situation

Excuse me but who's judging you?none of our posts are aimed specifically at you. Nobody is attacking you or making fun of you in the slightest. If you can't handle people disagreeing with your opinions, then get out of this forum because you're rarely contributing anything to the conversation

Do you think that it is right for people of the age of sixteen to get married? -- It's up to the person I guess. But I wouldn't have liked to be engaged at that age.
Are they too young? -- In my opinion it is. Sixteen is too young to know someone well enough to spend the rest of your life with. That person won't even know themselves well enough, never mind having someone else knowing through and through.
Do they know what love is? I think they know a level of love but I do know that at 16, I didn't know the kind of love that you have when you meet that one person that you want to spend forever with.
What are the issues involved in these marriages? I think the biggest problem is, when we're still growing up (which you are at 16), you change as a person. You could marry someone at 16 and by 25 not know the person you are married to.
Why do teenagers get married at a young age? I'm not sure why. I've never met anyone who is married at 16 but I guess they feel as though they know what and who they want and maybe not realise the problems as they get older.
Should parents let them? I think this is a tough one. If the parents say no, they know that their child will hate for it but if they say yes, they know that it could all go wrong and have a 21 year old divorced daughter.
At what age is it acceptable for young people get married? As I've said before, it is up to the person but I do think that you should wait until you've finished school and uni before making a step like that. If they want to be engaged during that period then fine but I do think they should wait until they are older.

I got engaged when I was 16, after falling pregnant. I loved my boyfriend, and yes, we planned to get married, but long story short, I'm single now (and not divorced) and I had a miscarriage (not related).

Personally, I think that you don't really know yourself when you are young. Heck, I'm 20 now, and I would say I've only really found out who I am in the last couple of months. And if you don't know yourself, how is somebody supposed to know you? And isn't marriage about knowing each other inside out? Yes, you may be in love, but true love waits, and I'd recommend setting out on a life together waited until you were a bit older...

sailorscent:

I got engaged when I was 16, after falling pregnant. I loved my boyfriend, and yes, we planned to get married, but long story short, I'm single now (and not divorced) and I had a miscarriage (not related).

Personally, I think that you don't really know yourself when you are young. Heck, I'm 20 now, and I would say I've only really found out who I am in the last couple of months. And if you don't know yourself, how is somebody supposed to know you? And isn't marriage about knowing each other inside out? Yes, you may be in love, but true love waits, and I'd recommend setting out on a life together waited until you were a bit older...

I completely agree.
And to be honest,what happened to you in this situation,is what personally id be really frightened of if a relationship ever got serious at my age.

Engagement,i can agree with,because its still saying i want to marry you,but it doesnt mean it has to happen straight away.
But being married at a young age,not practical. It may work for some people,but its a very small amount.
Alot of the time it doesnt work out,and no one can predict the future and say it will.