Letters to Anyone

Myself,
You need to learn when to hush. Seriously. You get annoying when you constantly ask to play. He knows that's really the only game you can play, but he has games he can play by himself that are way more fun. Games he actually likes playing. I know you want to try and be more involved with things he likes so you can do things together, but maybe video games isn't it. If he really wanted to play with you, he'd say so. Just, try and find something else. Who knows, you might find something if you search hard enough.
Vanessa

whatever

Dad,
What else do you want me to do? I've been applying everywhere. Mostly online, which you never see. Maybe that's why you think I'm not trying hard enough. I went to the unemployment office yesterday. I got the chance to fill out an application to a place that's actually hiring, but they wont start doing callbacks until next week. And, if we're being honest, it's a slim chance they'll hire me. So far, no other place will. I don't know why, maybe you should go ask them. It's not my fault that the holiday season is over and no place is hiring right now. I'm doing all I can do. Maybe you can start going out for me and getting lots of applications for me to fill out and return. Then we'll see if you get the results you want. Oh, and the place that's "always hiring", yea, they wont hire me. Anytime they send out an e-mail (sometimes when they don't), I re-send in my application for the millionth time. Sometimes they call and ask me some more questions, sometimes they don't. But what they have yet to do is call me in for an interview. I promise, I'm trying. Get off my back.
Vanessa

INO,
I'm sorry I post so much. I just have nobody else to talk to much. I have you, my fiancé, and my mom. I fee like you truly understand. Thank you.
Vanessa

dear extended relative,

shame on you for lying, deceiving and being so self entitled.

Parents,
You jumped down my back constantly about getting a job. Places weren't hiring, but you didn't care, it was somehow my fault and I needed to try harder. You thought I was just goofing around online all day, turns out I was filling out lots of applications. I bet you felt stupid after I told you that, even though dad didn't believe me. Dad yelled at me demanding me to tell him why I wasn't trying hard enough. Asking why I didn't wanna work. I knew he was wrong. That didn't matter though. And then, me and mom go to a restaurant, they let me fill out an application, but tell me they're full. I didn't expect anything to happen, so I filled out more applications and went about my business. They ended up calling the next day telling me to come in for an interview. I was excited, but scared. Scared because I don't know anything about what restaurants do. I cant bus a table. I cant work a register. I cant make pizza and memorize orders. The good thing is the manager is really nice and is willing to help me and be patient with me. That does help out a ton. And yet, throughout all this, you two STILL complain because it's not a full time job. Most of the time, training hours aren't full time. And for now, this part time job is the best I can do. So at least act like you're happy for me. I found a job, when they really didn't have room for me. I finally found a place that wants me, for now. It might not be paying much, and the hours might not be the very best, but it's better than where I was. I'm sorry it wasn't the perfect full time you guys were expecting, but the least you could do is be happy for me.
Vanessa

Work,
I really shouldn't be having this bad of an experience. It's only been a week. You expect me to be an expert at everything already, when in reality I've only been taught one thing, the salad bar. You never even put me on the salad bar. You put me at the register, alone. I've had very minimal, and very shitty, training at the register. The girl who was supposed to teach me pushed buttons so fast I couldn't keep up, then told me to do what she did, and got mad when I couldn't. And you guys still get mad when I cant. Don't blame me, I've never worked one before until this job. Blame your shit employees who think they have better things to do than make sure I succeed.
Vanessa

K,
I can't help but constantly go back and read what you wrote about me. When did things change? Why? Did it just become too tiresome to keep up the charade you set up for yourself to fall into? Before you even knew my name, you claimed you love me, or should I say you said I wouldn't understand 我爱你。Translated, it means "I love you." How could your love for me vanish just like that?

But here I am, a year later. Still wondering what happened. We fought, but you were always dearest to me, and the most trustworthy person I could ever ask for. Yet there are so many lives. Were you just trying to salvage your own reputation so you wouldn't have to deal with more problems? I understood you had a hard time of things, but I didn't have things any easier. That's something you've yet to understand. You acted as if it was really easy to get everything done you wanted me to get done, yet nothing was as simple as you made it to be. You probably still think so to this day.

But my mind always goes back to how you acted. You were always the sweetest and kindest girl. You were misunderstood, but you had a heart of gold. And I loved every little thing about you, and who you were. So matter how many times I say it, I can't imagine that you were just some evil person the entire time, cheating and manipulating me the entire time. Nobody can lie that well, can they?

And even in our final moments, instead of just giving me the answers I wanted, you avoided the question or lied more. Now we will probably never have contact again. Never can I attempt to get the answers I have craved for so long. Never can I put in front of you the list of all the painful things you did to me, to possibly snap you out of whatever haze you put yourself in. Not even you could deny a list as big as the one I've made.

Maybe you will though. I gave you that string to come back to talk to me whenever you need. I actually expect it. If you were so infatuated with me before you even really knew me, and then later equated me to the devil himself, not even this guy will stay in your heart forever. Eventually, you'll turn on him too.

You'll start to argue with each other more and more often, and you'll start aiming to hurt him, even in moments the two of you are getting along, just like you did to me. Eventually you'll distrust him, and do something so horrible, things will crumble. Then you'll come back, and look for the answers to why "he became a bad boyfriend" or something, only for me to have the truth of the matter waiting for you. And maybe then I can snap you out of whatever you have become.

Would I have a chance with you again if it worked? Who knows. But at least the woman I fell in love with two and a half years ago would be back, and the succubus I can't stand to think about would be gone. But we lasted a year and a half, so I guess I'll have to wait at least a year longer for that chance to save you to ever come.
D.

K,
I hope you're okay. I've been told that there's nothing to worry about, and that you're probably just fine, but i can't help but worry. Even if it was minor, how can I not be worried about something like that happening? If only I could ask you myself...
D.

K,
I hope I impress you and you do hire me. That'd be really great. I'm kind of hoping you put me on mostly dish washing, because no matter how much of a people person I am, I tend to freeze up. I think taking out food or busing tables will make me freeze up. I'll do it anyway, dont get me wrong, I just hope dish washing is my main thing for a while.
Vanessa

N and K,
I'm really glad you both considered me. I'm also super excited to start working for one of you tomorrow. I'm so thankful for the ability and opportunity to have two jobs. I'm also extremely scared my depression and anxiety will get in the way. Hopefully I can put it all behind me and do a good job. I really need this to work out.
Vanessa

K,
I'm crying over you. I'm begging for God to give me a chance. I just want to try to get the old you back, and I'm at my wits end. Even if I could never be your friend again, I just want the real you back. I want that kind, sweet girl I met almost three years ago back in this world.
D.

Dad
I really wish I could tell you how I'm feeling. When you come out of the blue and ask me if I'm feeling okay, lonely, depressed, scared, happy... I can't just admit to it right then and there, and I know I should. But I don't see how you could help me. You've never been good at emotional advice. Your answers are always "you need to get out more," or "stop being so negative," or worse, "I was just like you. You'll change." Because I'm not you, so you can't know that I'll change.

I just wish I could tell you, and have my daddy fix my problems, but I'm 22 and I can't. And I'm sorry I can't confide in you like I wish I could.
-Becca