Child Abuse

actress girl:

Yeah I really agree. Vioence is not the answer to everything, and ven if the kid is naughty, no one deserves that. People who beat their kids should have their kids taken off them. They obviously don't know how to treat children

I couldnt agree more. Abuse, even in the form of a little smack here and there is SO WRONG. As a child I was never hit or smacked for being naughty, some parents think it is the only way to get their children to listen? Well i consider it to be abuse. I can;t imagine what lasting effects being hit as a child must have, even though some people claim that it never did them any harm. I believe that subconsiously it would change your views on violence.

Hitting a child to get them to listen to you, or stop being naughty is a weak and in my opinion pathetic way to raise a child. I say that if parents are finding it hard then then they need to go to parenting classes and maybe even anger mamangement.

Sure there is no hand book, if your child is being really naughty, you might think of I just want to smack you so you'll shut ip, but its so clearly not the way to go about things. Some parents just dont have a clue, but at the same time its not always their fault, they just need to recognise that this is not the way to be and get he;p if they need it.

Crissy Daydream:

And if you want to read a book about a true story (about the author) then I recomend "A Child Called It".

Oh, that book.
I own that book, I've read it about 5 or 6 times.
Man,
That's just wrong and sick.
How could you do that to child?
Look into his or her eyes and see the pain that you're putting him or her through.
Just stop.

I've said spanking really helps, but only when preceded by verbal chastising and a warning and backed with reason.
If your kid is wailing in public over a toy they can't have, smacking him over the head and saying shut up won't help.
There are better, more effective ways.

Yara; wtf...:

You think she "became" a lesbian after being abused?

it can happen. i know people.

child abuse is absolutely revolting. there are OTHER ways, better ways to discipline kids. Im sick of parents who do that. its just going to make the kids miserable when they grow up. or worse, killers.

I hate it. There was a story in our city paper about a father who abused his child.
He threw her against the wall and poured acid on her. It burnt her groin area and caused extensive damage to her reproductive organs. To make things worse he made her drink the acid and it burnt out her throat and she will never be able to swallow food again.
It disgusting i hope he gets life in jail.
There is NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE!!!!!

I am against child abuse. Always has been and always will. Three are other ways to treat children. I have timeout at my house and early bedtime for kids that are acting up. Which is better than smacking a kid. I hear that it is alright to spank a child within reason. But really, what is within reason? You can not leave marks or make the child cry. WTF???? Spank within reason? But it's true. I still think it's wrong though.

i am so totally against it. i even get sick at the thought of it becaue after i read books "A Child Called "IT", "A Lost Boy", and "A Brothers Journey" i have realized how bad it can get.

Many things have a part in child abuse. I don't think a smack on the hand is abuse. I don't think a small spanking is child abuse. As an open-minded person, I can see this from both sides. Not saying it is an excuse, but it does make you think. If you had a child through heart-break, just looking at that child would hurt. If the child was a rape baby, it would hurt. Just looking at a child that had something to do with being broken on the inside, it would be like hitting the broken parts of you with a hammer everytime you saw that child. This does not make it right, but it does acredidate, slightly, the parents. Now, being drunk and hitting a kid is stupid, and anyone that does that needs to stop. Hitting a kid because of your problem is pointless and will not have pretty end results.

bloodredruby69:

Child abuse is a horrid thing, don't get me wrong. But in today's society, if children are not bubblewrapped and coddled close, the parents are labled as bad people, and are accused of child abuse. When I was a child, if I did something really bad (which almost never happened ) I would get spanked. It was disciplinary.

But the extreme measures against child abuse were even happening when I was a child. I was on the bus with my mother and older brother, he was three, I think, and I was two. He kept reaching for the chord to pull, to ding, and mom kept telling him no. Eventually, when he reached for it, she smacked his hand.

Not hard mind you, just enough to let him know that she wasn't going to tolerate it anymore. Kind of like a "bad, bad" type of thing.

Well, this women jumped up, pulled the chord, and spat at my mother. "I WILL NOT SIT HERE AND WATCH THIS CHILD ABUSE!!" And got off at the next stop.

There have been instances where people have been reported to child services for child abuse, for letting their kids sit unnattended in the car for a couple of minutes, or for speaking to them harshly when they misbehave.

Child abuse is wrong, but so is societies views of it. Not every bump or bruise is the parents abusing their child. People need to focus on the bigger wrongs, like actual child abuse, and stop harassing parents for trying to raise their own kids.

Agreed. I was in the ar with my sister and this family walked by he car. They looke at us like they had major sympathy for us. It was a little akward.

ElizasMAMA:

bloodredruby69:

Child abuse is a horrid thing, don't get me wrong. But in today's society, if children are not bubblewrapped and coddled close, the parents are labled as bad people, and are accused of child abuse. When I was a child, if I did something really bad (which almost never happened ) I would get spanked. It was disciplinary.

But the extreme measures against child abuse were even happening when I was a child. I was on the bus with my mother and older brother, he was three, I think, and I was two. He kept reaching for the chord to pull, to ding, and mom kept telling him no. Eventually, when he reached for it, she smacked his hand.

Not hard mind you, just enough to let him know that she wasn't going to tolerate it anymore. Kind of like a "bad, bad" type of thing.

Well, this women jumped up, pulled the chord, and spat at my mother. "I WILL NOT SIT HERE AND WATCH THIS CHILD ABUSE!!" And got off at the next stop.

There have been instances where people have been reported to child services for child abuse, for letting their kids sit unnattended in the car for a couple of minutes, or for speaking to them harshly when they misbehave.

Child abuse is wrong, but so is societies views of it. Not every bump or bruise is the parents abusing their child. People need to focus on the bigger wrongs, like actual child abuse, and stop harassing parents for trying to raise their own kids.

Agreed. I was in the ar with my sister and this family walked by he car. They looke at us like they had major sympathy for us. It was a little akward.

As a parent I can speak from experience.I love my kids dearly and do not stand for child abuse (i.e.putting your kids in an oven,starving them,making them eat dirty diapers,etc) but spanking your kids every now and then is not that bad.People get too upset about minor occurences, my entire family was in Wal-Mart and my oldest was trying to jump in the bottom rack of the cart, my husband asked him several times to stop even had a talk with him at point he did it again and my husband spanked him once on his bottom, not hard at all, my son didn't cry or anything like that he just stopped trying to jump onto the rack.Well everyone started staring at my husband and whispering one lady said very loudly "If you're gonna mistreat kids you should use a condom buddy, see what happens when teenagers have kids?" So my husband said very calmly that we were not teenagers,and we didn't mistreat our kids" then he took my son and went out to the car.
It turns out that the lady worked at my son's preschool and the next day a child-services person came to our house to check us out because my son had been wearing mismatched clothes that day (we let him dress himself) and because of the walmart incident.Luckily the child-service guy was used to getting calls like that,and understood it was probably just some goth/hippie parent discrimination and he checked our house out and saw that we were okay so nothing bigger than having to find a new preschool for our son came out of the ordeal but it as still completely blown up.
So I think people should be a little looser with their kids, my husband has a poster of Paul McCartney lying with his infant daughter naked (she's laying on his crotch) the picture is completely innocent but yet he still gets complaints for selling it. Also this one time he had all four kids at his shop watching them while I was out shopping and some lady that came in looking for a gift for her grandson freaked out because there's a pipe stand in the back corner and there were small kids in the shop.I mean its a clothing store not an Adult Toy Store or something. People just get crazy and stuck up when it comes to this stuff

I don't want to start a fight about who has better parenting or anything else like that. But I also have 4 kids, the only difference is that I am single with 4 kids. I would never think of spanking them in public infron of other people. But like I said before. I am not trying to start a fight over who has better parenting skills. This is just my opinion.

Tanya1979:

I don't want to start a fight about who has better parenting or anything else like that. But I also have 4 kids, the only difference is that I am single with 4 kids. I would never think of spanking them in public infron of other people. But like I said before. I am not trying to start a fight over who has better parenting skills. This is just my opinion.

I completely understand that,and i never have spanked any of my kids in public,and that was the first time my husband ever has and it'll probably be the last, we usually don't spank them at all unless they are endangering themselves (as trying to jump in the bottom of a moving object could probably be) so if they had been throwing a fit for cookies or something like that there would have been no spanking,one of us would have just took him to the car and sat with him till he calmed down
Spanking in front of other people is dangerous,if the service man had not been so understanding we could have been put through court and possibly lost our kids, so we've agreed not to spank our kids in public either we can see were it might not be the best idea

UGH..My kids are always having temper trantrums at home, in public. I don't think that you would have gone through court and lose your kids. Losing your kids for something as small as spanking is just not right. I know people who spank their kids with reason. Where I live you can spank your children with reason. Just as long as it doesn't make them cry and you leave no marks at all. I tap my kids on their hand if they are really bad. I have a son with ADHA, ODD, Austism (Spelling is off) he also has Tourettes. So you can see how I don't think spanking is the answer. I am so used to dealing with him in a different way. So I use that with my other 3 kids too. I don't have a problem with a small tap on the bottom, if you don't make them cry or leave marks.

I guess you could say I was a victim of child abuse.

It only got physical once, and that was when my mom's boyfriend dragged me on the ground, kicked me, and slapped me.

The rest was neglect. My mom didn't acknowledge me at all. Didn't feed me. Didn't talk to me. Didn't see me.

It's a long story

BrandySmartiesNinja:

I guess you could say I was a victim of child abuse.

It only got physical once, and that was when my mom's boyfriend dragged me on the ground, kicked me, and slapped me.

The rest was neglect. My mom didn't acknowledge me at all. Didn't feed me. Didn't talk to me. Didn't see me.

It's a long story

Wow... I hope you're mom dumped him and called the cops...

right. I unlocked this thread as I don't see the pont in lockibng it now because of spam on page two.
as long as there is an actuall discussion it's fine.

Getting back to it. First of I really don't want to hear about how people got beaten up, it hurts to hear it actually.

Ok, back to it now.
I went to parenting groups for 4 1/2 years and I learned alot about how to deal with children. I mean somethings work well with one, but not the other.
There was this one discussion that we had, it was more of a activity really.

This is one thing to do, if it doesn't make sense to you, keep it to yourself. Because this is a proven thing. I don't think me or anyone here should argue with stuff like this. (Sorry but it's true)

"The Ball" The ball is the children's feelings. The outside and the inside are different.

On the outside of this ball is words like "I hate you" "I don't want to live with you anymore" can be seen/heard.. But on the inside of this ball what the children really mean is. "I am upset right now" "I am not happy"

I always say, before you act and hit your kids or yell at them. Imagine this ball. Imagine the hurtful words and then think of what these children are actually feeling.

I mean if your kids says something hurtful, they don't really mean it. What they are really doing is telling you their feelings. You must understand their feelings, you'd be surprised.

I was also thinking too.
Some children do things to get attention. Like break plates, cups, throw tamtrums and bit, pull hair, scratch, hit, kick and stuff like that.

Most times what it is, is just trying to get attention. To a child that's what they want. Their parents or caregivers to give them a bit of attention....good or bad attention.

I mean, children are not born bad, nor are they bad. They do bad things at times, to get attention. If a parent only reacts when the child does something that is bad, that is what they will keep on doing. Resulting in the parent, caregivers to punishing them and abusing them.

What the parent, caregiver should really do is....Praise them when they do something nice/good. Give them a sticker for being good, or simply if you can't afford stickers all of the time, Clap your hands and tell them that they did a very good job. EASY, isn't it? You will see a difference in the child and in yourself.