Teen Pregnancy

I think that aslong as both the man and the woman are willing to support a child that they should even think about sex.

Neither, I don't think.
-shrug-
I'm not gonna run out and get pregnant because she did, but I don't think she's a whore.

^^Ooh! She had the baby!
I've been keeping half an eye on Miss Castle-Hughes. I'm actually of the opinion that she's, well, not quite a role model, but more a positive example in a sea of negative. I mean, I wouldn't condone kids going out getting pregnant because, 'she did it, so can I', but I agree with her when she says she's disappointed about how she was made to feel about her pregnancy, because although I'm nearly 21, I'm often made to feel the same way.
It really irritates me when my mum and I go shopping, and by the way I can't wear my wedding rings on the right finger at the moment because I'm all swelled up with fluid retention, and people give me these horrible up-and-down, disapproving looks because to the uneducated observer, I'd appear to be an unwed teenage mother. As you know, I'm neither teenaged or unwed, but people don't know that and I get all kinds of glares, scornful looks and disgusted shaken heads pointed at me. (I mean, having my piercings and wearing black all the time probably doesn't help, but screw it - I'm not going to change into a soccer-mom overnight, am I? Having a lip ring doesn't mean I'm a child molester or drug addict, so I fail to see what kind of impact it would have on my parenting ability.)

I mean, if Keisha has some money put aside (and I assume, being an actress who's been quite successful in her short career), the support of her partner, and is enthusiastic about becoming a mother, then more power to her - I'm sure she'll be one of the few teens who actually do make great parents.
Congratulations to her and her boyfriend, I wish them all the best.

I don't encourage teen pregnancies, but if they do get pregnant, I don't think it's such a bad idea that they keep the baby. It of course depends on the age of the teen, but if it's like seventeen or sexteen, it's not that horrible. but if they don't think they're capable of raising a baby by themselves, they should put it out for adoption. When it comes to Abortion, I don't like it, but I think it's good that it's an option.

But please, it's not very hard to avoid teen-pregnancies anyway. Wear a condom or something!

^ And that would be why girls should be taking care of themselves, not just leaving it up to their boyfriend as far as birth control goes.
When my first boyfriend and I decided we wanted to take our relationship to the next level, we discussed how we would go about it. Of course, we'd had plenty of sex ed in school and knew all about condoms etc, but I did the responsible thing and went to my mother, asking her to take me to the doctor so I could get on the Pill. Then, when we did finally do it, we were essentially using two kinds of contraception, the Pill and a condom, and we both felt pretty safe that we wouldn't run into trouble. We never did, thankfully.
So the 'condoms don't always work' cop-out is just that - a cop-out. If you're going to play adult games and do adult things like have sex, act like an adult and take care of yourself, don't just leave it to chance.

SamanthaAesthetic.:

I don't like teen pregnancy.
Idiots, they're idiots for getting pregnant!
And than some go and try to get abortions, it's their fault for having sex!

I feel the same,
First: If they're going to have sex they should practice safe sex.
Second: What if they're not able to support the baby. Instead giving it away if your not neccesarily ready.
Third: ONLY IF ITS NECCESARY they would have to get an abortion because of a health or mental problem.( I'm totally against uneccasry abortian)

PassionBetweenLovers:

I feel the same,
First: If they're going to have sex they should practice safe sex.
Second: What if they're not able to support the baby. Instead giving it away if your not neccesarily ready.
Third: ONLY IF ITS NECCESARY they would have to get an abortion because of a health or mental problem.( I'm totally against uneccasry abortian)

I beg to differ, and this is only my opinion, so keep in mind that I'm not trying to change yours, just put a different perspective on it.
I'm all for pro-choice. Abortion is a personal decision, and traumatic enough to contemplate without other people getting in on their business and telling people what to do with their bodies. But that's a discussion for another thread.

Okay, what I'm trying to say is that on your first point, I agree whole-heartedly. As I've said before, if kids want to play adult games, they need to act like adults and be responsible. In the unfortunate event of a pregnancy occurring, I don't believe in giving the child up for adoption if the mother is mentally prepared to raise the child. Yes, financially it would be hard on both mum and baby, but the fact is we don't live in a utopian society where everybody has enough money to live. I don't believe that financial hardship should be a valid reason for cutting off all ties with your own flesh and blood and forgetting you ever gave birth. To me, that excuse is rather selfish. I myself was raised in a middle-class environment where my brother and I never wanted for anything, but my husband, on the other hand, was raised solely by his father, who couldn't go to work because he had a child to look after, couldn't get welfare because single fathers just didn't exist in those days, and needless to say, my husband and his dad did it very hard when he was young. It has done him no harm whatsoever - he still went to school, he still had food on the table and clothes on his back, it just wasn't a private academy, or designer sneakers, or fancy food. He still had toys and games to play, but it was getting outside and climbing a tree rather than spending hours in front of a computer playing expensive video games. He still had friends, because kids don't care how well-off you are - that's a trait learned in adolescent years, or taught by snobbish parents who feel they're superior to everyone around them.
To this day, my husband knows the value of a dollar, saves every spare cent we earn and is determined that our children won't be 'spoilt' the way I was.
In other words, not having a lot of money isn't detrimental to a child's wellbeing - they don't know what money is until they get to a certain age where it's all everybody talks about. I just see a lot of parents in their 20's and 30's who are just as broke as some teenagers I know, and I see a lot of teenagers these days who are getting loans for cars and saving towards a deposit on a house before they reach 20.
To me, the ability to raise a child is not dictated by finance, nor is it dictated by the date on your birth certificate. It's about being mentally prepared, willing to make sacrifices, and being able to dedicate your life to another human being who depends on you for its welfare. Money doesn't solve everybody's problems, and therefore I feel that your point is kind of useless.

I know I'm turning this into a huge post, but I just have one more point I'd like to share.
How is adoption preferable to abortion? Both of them are traumatic for the mother, that's a given, but I have to admit that if a woman (any woman, not necessarily a teenager) finds herself pregnant and doesn't think she's up to the challenge of raising a child, it would be preferable to terminate the pregnancy rather than go through nine months of carrying a baby, then having to hand it over to an orphanage in the hope that it gets adopted. A lot of babies spend the first years of their life in an orphanage, then either go into foster care or get adopted, and by that time the damage to their psyche has been done. These poor kids feel unwanted, rejected, they don't know who they are or where they come from, other than that the one person in their life who was meant to love and care for them, didn't want them. I know that if I wasn't up to the task of raising a child, whether it be due to my mental incapacity or my environment (eg single mother, homeless, drug addict etc), I would much rather terminate the pregnancy and never have the child enter the world, rather than palm it off to become somebody else's responsibility, and have me wonder every day for the rest of my life where it is, how they're doing and hoping they're happy; while they spend every day of their life wondering what they did that was so bad that I didn't want to keep them with me.

Sex is a natural healty part of life, and though I am not saying teens should not have sex, I believe that no one should unless their body and mind are ready for the consequences. Some teenagers do have protected sex yet still fall pregnant. condoms have a like 3% chance of not working, and the pill has even more chances of failing, apparently :S. A child should not be born into a world where it cannot be raised successfully. Abortions are not wrong,in my opion, as yes you are deprieving a home of a child, yet if the home is unsuitable is it as cruel? Also a foetus doesn't know of life, so it will not make much difference. But I believe aborting to late on is wrong, as you have a tiny human inside of you.

i wouldn't condone trying to get pregnant as a teenager, but i don't think teen moms should be looked down upon. just because you're a teenager with a kid, that doesn't make you a 'slut' or a 'whore'. i mean, accidents happen. bad choices are made on occasion (by this i mean not using protection when having sex, because i don't want people thinking i'm saying that having the child is a bad choice). i'm not against abortion, but i also think that if a teen mother chooses to have her child, more power to her. i don't get why it's so looked down upon. it takes a lot of courage to have a child at such a young age, so i have immense respect for anyone who goes through it.

My friend's girlfriend is pregnant (13) and they are nowhere near prepared for it...

^
Discuss?

I don't think it's a good idea for people to have sex until marriage... there you go to avoid being pregnant don't have sex.... good plan?

^
I don't totally understand that, but I think you're saying wait until marriage to have sex?
I think you should just use protection and make sure you trust the person you screw, but maybe I'm old-fashioned.

druscilla; in rags:

^
I don't totally understand that, but I think you're saying wait until marriage to have sex?
I think you should just use protection and make sure you trust the person you screw, but maybe I'm old-fashioned.

No, I agree. Sex before marriage does not automatically lead to pregnancy, nor does sex before marriage indicate that the participants are in their teen years.
Gosh, if my husband's parents had never had sex before marriage, he wouldn't exist - they never did get married, and my father-in-law has been with his partner for sixteen years, they have a 14-year-old child together (my husband's half-brother) and they still aren't married!

I don't understand how 'teen pregnancy' seems to be synonymous with 'whore' and 'sex before marriage' seems to be synonymous with 'pregnant 14-year-old'.
They're all completely different issues.

Cigarettes And Suicide:

PassionBetweenLovers:

I feel the same,
First: If they're going to have sex they should practice safe sex.
Second: What if they're not able to support the baby. Instead giving it away if your not neccesarily ready.
Third: ONLY IF ITS NECCESARY they would have to get an abortion because of a health or mental problem.( I'm totally against uneccasry abortian)

I beg to differ, and this is only my opinion, so keep in mind that I'm not trying to change yours, just put a different perspective on it.
I'm all for pro-choice. Abortion is a personal decision, and traumatic enough to contemplate without other people getting in on their business and telling people what to do with their bodies. But that's a discussion for another thread.

Okay, what I'm trying to say is that on your first point, I agree whole-heartedly. As I've said before, if kids want to play adult games, they need to act like adults and be responsible. In the unfortunate event of a pregnancy occurring, I don't believe in giving the child up for adoption if the mother is mentally prepared to raise the child. Yes, financially it would be hard on both mum and baby, but the fact is we don't live in a utopian society where everybody has enough money to live. I don't believe that financial hardship should be a valid reason for cutting off all ties with your own flesh and blood and forgetting you ever gave birth. To me, that excuse is rather selfish. I myself was raised in a middle-class environment where my brother and I never wanted for anything, but my husband, on the other hand, was raised solely by his father, who couldn't go to work because he had a child to look after, couldn't get welfare because single fathers just didn't exist in those days, and needless to say, my husband and his dad did it very hard when he was young. It has done him no harm whatsoever - he still went to school, he still had food on the table and clothes on his back, it just wasn't a private academy, or designer sneakers, or fancy food. He still had toys and games to play, but it was getting outside and climbing a tree rather than spending hours in front of a computer playing expensive video games. He still had friends, because kids don't care how well-off you are - that's a trait learned in adolescent years, or taught by snobbish parents who feel they're superior to everyone around them.
To this day, my husband knows the value of a dollar, saves every spare cent we earn and is determined that our children won't be 'spoilt' the way I was.
In other words, not having a lot of money isn't detrimental to a child's wellbeing - they don't know what money is until they get to a certain age where it's all everybody talks about. I just see a lot of parents in their 20's and 30's who are just as broke as some teenagers I know, and I see a lot of teenagers these days who are getting loans for cars and saving towards a deposit on a house before they reach 20.
To me, the ability to raise a child is not dictated by finance, nor is it dictated by the date on your birth certificate. It's about being mentally prepared, willing to make sacrifices, and being able to dedicate your life to another human being who depends on you for its welfare. Money doesn't solve everybody's problems, and therefore I feel that your point is kind of useless.

I know I'm turning this into a huge post, but I just have one more point I'd like to share.
How is adoption preferable to abortion? Both of them are traumatic for the mother, that's a given, but I have to admit that if a woman (any woman, not necessarily a teenager) finds herself pregnant and doesn't think she's up to the challenge of raising a child, it would be preferable to terminate the pregnancy rather than go through nine months of carrying a baby, then having to hand it over to an orphanage in the hope that it gets adopted. A lot of babies spend the first years of their life in an orphanage, then either go into foster care or get adopted, and by that time the damage to their psyche has been done. These poor kids feel unwanted, rejected, they don't know who they are or where they come from, other than that the one person in their life who was meant to love and care for them, didn't want them. I know that if I wasn't up to the task of raising a child, whether it be due to my mental incapacity or my environment (eg single mother, homeless, drug addict etc), I would much rather terminate the pregnancy and never have the child enter the world, rather than palm it off to become somebody else's responsibility, and have me wonder every day for the rest of my life where it is, how they're doing and hoping they're happy; while they spend every day of their life wondering what they did that was so bad that I didn't want to keep them with me.

That's also true and I know you weren't trying to put me down .

I dont encourage Teen pregnancies either but if they do get pregnant i think they should decide what is better for the baby. Some teens just arent financially ready to care for a child and it sometimes risks their future as well. I mean if they want to keep the child thats fine but i mean Adoption isnt a bad choice either.

Cigarettes And Suicide:

How do you define what is 'best' for a child? Guaranteed financial stability? Or a loving biological mother who, though she may struggle to provide, is determined to make things work for her and her baby? In my opinion, people are far too shallow and base everything around money-money-money. Life is not about money, it's about experience, it's about sharing love, it's about learning an caring and growing and going through hardships to become a better person and know how to avoid mistakes next time around.
I'm due to give birth in a few months, and do you know how much money I have in the bank? Just over $500. That's all. I'm putting money away every week, but by no means am I financially 'secure' as far as everyone else concerned. My husband works, but I lost my job when they found out I was pregnant and I haven't been able to contribute to our savings for months now..

You're right: life isn't about money. But raising a child DEFINETLY is.

You can't raise a child without money. Diapers, formula, clothing...none of it is free. None of it. I'm not saying that loving and nurturing a child isn't important too, because it is, but if you don't have the money, then forget it. Love isn't going to put food on the table. Love won't pay the bills and it certainly won't keep the sheriff from throwing you, your kid, your dog and/or cat and all of your stuff out on the street. It takes money, honey, and lots of it if you want clothes on your child's back, food in its mouth, and clothes on its back. It's unavoidable.

You are old enough and mature enough to handle bringing a child into the world. You are in a committed relationship and you have some sort of steady income coming in. Most young girls DON'T. A job here, a few hours there...that's not going to cut it, and that's what MOST teenagers work. If they work. Some of them are not legally old enough to work at all. I'm not saying that you have to have boatloads of money to raise a child well (when I was born in 1989, my mom was making $4.50/hr at a gas station), but you need SOMETHING. And a lot of young girls don't have that something. They have zilch coming in. No good intentions will change the fact that you're BROKE.

As for experience, that comes with raising the child. It won't be easy for ANY teenager to raise a child, financially or otherwise. They're simply not mature enough to do it. But they will be. They'll grow up fast. But why would you want to grow up fast? You have your whole life to be an adult.

My advice? If you ain't got the money, and you still want to be a kid...KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED.