Teen Pregnancy

Rocky:

Cigarettes And Suicide
Congratulations, having a baby is the biggest and best blessing you'll ever have. You know true love when you have your first child.

Say you were 13, and had a baby, not stayed with the father..
Sure its true love...

Having a baby is wonderful, at a responsible age, its only true love if it was a special night, not a fumble in the dark and then finding out your pregnant whilst still at school.

TrustMe.I'mNotOkay-x:

Rocky:

Cigarettes And Suicide
Congratulations, having a baby is the biggest and best blessing you'll ever have. You know true love when you have your first child.

Say you were 13, and had a baby, not stayed with the father..
Sure its true love...

Having a baby is wonderful, at a responsible age, its only true love if it was a special night, not a fumble in the dark and then finding out your pregnant whilst still at school.

I beg to differ. The bond between a mother and child is the same whether the mother is 14 or 34, whether the child was conceived on a drunk night out or on the last night of a romantic honeymoon, and whether the father is man enough to shoulder his responsibilities, or shirks his duty and rides off into the sunset with nary a backward glance.
I agree that it's quite irresponsible to fall pregnant at a very young age (in my mind, anything under 16 is too young to become a mother, but hey, you make do with what you're given or the consequences of the chioces you make yourself), but I believe that Rocky definitely has it right when she says that there is nothing that compares to the love you feel when you meet your child for the first time. And regardless of the circumstances of that child's conception, regardless of the mother and/or father's age, that love is still there, and it's still huge.
I personally am passionately in love with my first child and she hasn't even been born yet. There's absolutely nothing like feeling her kick when I'm laying in bed at night trying to fall asleep (although at 4am it kind of gets annoying, just go back to freakin' sleep already!).

The thing that irritates me is that I'm almost 21, I've been classified by Australian law as an adult since the day I turned 18, and yet people still look down upon me because I chose to have children at this point in my life. This wasn't an accident, my fiance and I had discussed it at length and decided we both wanted a baby ASAP. But in society's eyes, I'm about as bad as a pregnant 15-year-old, because the opinion seems to be that anybody under 25, or even 30, isn't fit to raise children, doesn't have any money, etc etc.
I'm not working at the moment, solely due to my pregnancy (I've got severely low blood pressure and chronic back problems that mean I'm laid up on the couch most of the day), but my fiance and I are still able to afford luxuries such as internet, cable TV, brand-name food, clothes and other items, and still have money left over to leave in the bank for when the baby comes - by no means are we not able to afford a child. And my fiance is one of the most mature people I've ever met - he blows a lot of 30-year-olds out of the water with his intelligence, insight and common sense, and he's turning 22 in a couple months. I feel totally secure that we're going to make fabulous parents, and that our daughter will have all the privileges we feel she needs in life (and I say 'needs' because I don't believe in spoilt children who are given everything and still aren't happy with it - she'll do it tough at times, but it's for her own good).
So why is it that young parents are looked down upon just as much as teenage parents? Like I said, this was a planned pregnancy that I wanted very much, and I have the means to provide financially, emotionally and in every other way necessary. Our grandparents used to get married at 20 and have two kids before they turned 24, why is it such a bad thing to do it in this day and age? I have no desire to travel and see the world, or to climb the corporate ladder and become a rich, powerful career woman. My goal in life was always to meet 'the one', marry him and settle down to have a couple of kids by the time I was 26 - and I'm almost there (first baby on the way, the wedding is in less than a week, and I'm turning 21 in July). So how am I 'throwing my life away' by doing this, which is what I've always wanted?

Actually in some cases the bond between mother and child isn't always there. I know alot of 14 year olds who got pregnant and who don't give two shits about their little children at home. That's why I don't think kids sound be having kids, because that are still in that selfish point in their life when all they care about is themselves.

Now yes there are a select few can have that bond, even with an unplanned pregnancy. But most, in my experience, are too stubborn, immature, and selfish to raise a child.

I know for a fact that I am not ready to raise a child. I babysit my niece twice a week and by the second day I am like begging for her mother to come rescue me from the clutches of her child who has deemed me her slave. Now to think having to do this 24/7 minus the 300 dollars a month is not something I want to experinence yet.

^^ That's very true actually.

There's a girl at my school who got pregnant with her boyfriend after she'd only been with him for 2 weeks but she thought she loved him enough to have a baby with him when she was only 14 years old. All the way through the pregnancy she carried on smoking about 10 cigs a day & said 'oh the baby will be fine, its too small a thing to give it long-term damage'. When the baby was born, it had something wrong with its lungs & so her boyfriend left her because he didnt want to father a child who had 'problems' as he put it. So she ended up hating this baby for causing her boyfriend to leave her & now she's at school day after day, leaving the kid with her mum & she never goes home til something like 10pm. My mate tries talking to her about the kid but she says she couldnt give a care in the world what it does because she doesnt love it & even though she planned it [for something like 3 days] she can never love it because of what it did to her relationship.

I just think that is selfish & as evil as it sounds, it's her own fault

I find that disgusting.
From my personal experience, though, that kind of story is a definite rarity, which leads me to believe that the majority of mothers, no matter what their age or circumstance, do have that special bond with their children.
One example is a friend of mine who fell pregnant (unplanned, of course) at 16. She and the father had been together for a while, and she was the kind of girl who you always see wasted at parties on weekends, doing drugs, cutting classes, just generally throwing her life away in the pursuit of 'having fun' and 'enjoying her youth'.
Anyway, she found out she was pregnant, and when she told the father he was super-excited - for all of about two weeks, until he found another foot-loose and fancy-free girl who would go out to clubs and party with him. Then my friend essentially made the decision that he would be a bad influence on her child if he stuck around (which she knew he wouldn't anyway), so she showed him the door.
My friend's daughter is now two years old, and she is the most adorable, intelligent, sweet-natured little girl I've ever met. Her mother is absolutely devoted to her, and works very hard to give her everything. Sure, her mum has the occasional night out with her girlfriends and she leaves her daughter with her grandma, but it doesn't impact on her child's development at all - she gets to spend some quality time with grandma while mum has a couple of hours to let loose and enjoy being 19.
But the moral of the story is that she was the most unlikely 'good parent' anybody could imagine, but she literally changed overnight when she found out she was pregnant, and made the decision to end her relationship and raise a child on her own so that there were no unsuitable role models in her daughter's life. And I applaud her for that.

Cigarettes And Suicide:

I find that disgusting.
From my personal experience, though, that kind of story is a definite rarity, which leads me to believe that the majority of mothers, no matter what their age or circumstance, do have that special bond with their children.
One example is a friend of mine who fell pregnant (unplanned, of course) at 16. She and the father had been together for a while, and she was the kind of girl who you always see wasted at parties on weekends, doing drugs, cutting classes, just generally throwing her life away in the pursuit of 'having fun' and 'enjoying her youth'.
Anyway, she found out she was pregnant, and when she told the father he was super-excited - for all of about two weeks, until he found another foot-loose and fancy-free girl who would go out to clubs and party with him. Then my friend essentially made the decision that he would be a bad influence on her child if he stuck around (which she knew he wouldn't anyway), so she showed him the door.
My friend's daughter is now two years old, and she is the most adorable, intelligent, sweet-natured little girl I've ever met. Her mother is absolutely devoted to her, and works very hard to give her everything. Sure, her mum has the occasional night out with her girlfriends and she leaves her daughter with her grandma, but it doesn't impact on her child's development at all - she gets to spend some quality time with grandma while mum has a couple of hours to let loose and enjoy being 19.
But the moral of the story is that she was the most unlikely 'good parent' anybody could imagine, but she literally changed overnight when she found out she was pregnant, and made the decision to end her relationship and raise a child on her own so that there were no unsuitable role models in her daughter's life. And I applaud her for that.

There are some exceptions of course, with anything. For every bad teenage mother, there are good ones, the same goes for adult mothers who was 30 and still neglect their children. Good and bad. I think why people have an issue with girls getting pregnant so young is that now that we live in this modern age, women have more oppotunities to do things we couldn't in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and even 80s. We can travel without a man holding our hand, etc etc. But like Lois Griffin says in family guy, "Feminism is a choice. I choose to be a wife and mother..." If it is your choice at 20 to have a child and get married, more power too you, I couldn't do what you are doing.

I just think at 14, 15, 16, even 17 you don't know what you want, you don't know your ass from your elbow. There are certain circumstances where girls these age can shape up and grow up overnight to deal with a child. Most can't. Most are selfish and children themselves who can't live on there own, especially this decade of teenagers who can barly wipe their own asses let alone the ass of a crying and squirming and kicking infant.

Jenni Colon Sexy Bac:

There are some exceptions of course, with anything. For every bad teenage mother, there are good ones, the same goes for adult mothers who was 30 and still neglect their children. Good and bad. I think why people have an issue with girls getting pregnant so young is that now that we live in this modern age, women have more oppotunities to do things we couldn't in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and even 80s. We can travel without a man holding our hand, etc etc. But like Lois Griffin says in family guy, "Feminism is a choice. I choose to be a wife and mother..." If it is your choice at 20 to have a child and get married, more power to you, I couldn't do what you are doing.

I just think at 14, 15, 16, even 17 you don't know what you want, you don't know your ass from your elbow. There are certain circumstances where girls these age can shape up and grow up overnight to deal with a child. Most can't. Most are selfish and children themselves who can't live on there own, especially this decade of teenagers who can barely wipe their own asses let alone the ass of a crying and squirming and kicking infant.

Haha, Lois Griffin totally has it right - I'm just sick of people giving me the sympathetic looks and patting me on the back like it's something to feel sorry for - I chose this!

I totally agree with you about kids in today's society, though. You're right, the majority of them truly don't know their ass from their elbows, and kids are far too selfish to look after children. I myself have wanted children from a young age, but I had the good sense to know I should wait until I was in a position to tolerate 24-hour-a-day care for the next twenty or so years.
I suppose teen pregnancy isn't a prevalent issue in the area I live in, so I don't see very much of it first-hand, and therefore can only form opinions from what I see and experience. But I really do agree with you on a lot of those comments - kids shouldn't be having kids at all, but if they do find themselves in the position of being parents, they need to face their responsibilities and do the best they can to raise their kids. And I say that because I don't really support the idea of adoption - if you can't afford or don't have the means to provide for a child, whether it be you're broke or just not in the right state of mind (not wanting to give up your own life to raise children etc), then you shouldn't fall pregnant to begin with - not just 'oops, oh well, when it's born I'll palm it off on someone else'. I feel that adoption is detrimental to both the child and the biological parent, and there are other options in this day that can prevent such situations. In saying that, yes, I do believe abortion is a legitimate option, but not if you're simply being irresponsible and having unprotected sex without thinking of the consequences. Things like the 'morning-after pill' are great ways to prevent such circumstances, and if all else fails, hey, there's always the fool-proof path of abstinence!
But as you said, it goes both ways - for every good teen mother, there's a good older mother, and for every bad teen mother, there's a bad older mother.

I know it sounds pretty stupid, but I'm kind of of the opinion that parenting should be a privilege, not a right, and therefore people should have to go through some form of licensing/training in order to fall pregnant - kind of like how you need to go for a driver's licence to get behind the wheel of a car, or when adopting a pet from the pound you have to get approved for it (ie have adequate fencing, prove that you're going to provide a good home for the animal, get it desexed/chipped/wormed etc). I know that it would be far too hard to enforce, and it's such a utopian idea, but I see too many kids being dragged up rather than brought up because their parents, whatever age they are, just don't have what it takes to bring a child into the world and raise it properly. It's a nice idea, anyway

I think people shouldn't have kids until theyve lived out their teens had their share of fun and want to grow up and mature get a job a girl or guy and can afford to stabalize both they guy and the girl and then if you have more then you should if you want too. But if it happens it happens. I cant say do an abortion to my gf she got pregnant thatd hurt both of us. But when i look at my sister and her fiancee they thrrew away their lives. Dont get me wrong the kids cute and love her to death but they cant afford themselves right that second and plus theres another kid on the way she should have waited a little longer or used contraseptives although when my mum had me my brother and my sister we all were concieved using birthcontrol and condoms so contraseptives dont always work

I dont believe in either....
I think its wrong...
but if you were raped you cant really help it....

GloomyEeyore2007:

I dont believe in either....
I think its wrong...
but if you were raped you cant really help it....

And if the condom breaks you can't really help it either.

My question is, why does everyone think the fetus/zygote/embryo/cells/unborn child is so much more important than the mother?

I don't think it's more important than the mother, but if you are one of those people who value life as it is, you may believe it doesn't make a difference in who is important.

xMari_Malicex:

I don't think it's more important than the mother, but if you are one of those people who value life as it is, you may believe it doesn't make a difference in who is important.

It does when you're deciding whether or not the mother's choice is relevant.

Guys, this is about Teten pregnacy, not abortion. There's a thread for that.

My aunt was young when she had my cousins [twins] and i do feel sorry for my cousins cause they weren't treated well but theyre now 21 and now one of them is on drugs etc

But on the other hand my friends parents were young but they all love each other etc and theyre happy

The Lost Parade:

My aunt was young when she had my cousins [twins] and i do feel sorry for my cousins cause they weren't treated well but theyre now 21 and now one of them is on drugs etc

But on the other hand my friends parents were young but they all love each other etc and theyre happy

Exactly. Just because your aunt was young when she had children doesn't mean it'll turn the kids into drug addicts when they get older. Those kind of decisions are a person's own choice, and there's absolutely no impact made by the age of their parents.
My parents were 26 and 27 (which is pretty old to me) when I was born, and I turned out to be an addict for a few years, too.
It had nothing at all to do with them. It was my choice to dabble, my choice to continue, and my choice to quit when I felt I was ready.
Bear in mind that 'older' parents (those aged 25+, for example) can still mistreat or neglect their kids, it's not always or not just the young parents that screw up. It's a huge learning curve and no parent is perfect, no matter what their age.

teen pregnany is really stupid. unless you think youre ready to take that responsibility, then go right on ahead and go for it!!

My opinon: KIDS shouldn't be doing what they were doing in the first place! It's stupid, idiotic. If a kid/teen things they are responsible enough to take care of a kid, they are wrong. Having sex at the age of 13 really says you are still immature. It's disgusting if you think about it.

i think its up to the person weather or not they want 2 keep the kid and if they want to have sex

i feel rly bad for teenage mothers, because even if it is their fault for getting pregnant, it just seems rly sad to me that girls that are 13-15 or 16 hav the pressure on them (from society) to fuck their bfs....but it also sux for guys, i guess.....

cheshirecat:

it just seems rly sad to me that girls that are 13-15 or 16 hav the pressure on them (from society) to fuck their bfs....but it also sux for guys, i guess.....

The thing I don't see is whythere is so much pressure on teens to b dabbling in sexual activity.
The truth of the matter is, everyone's talking about it, but very few people are actually doing it, but everyone seems to think that everybody else is doing it, and therefore they feel like they'll be missing out, or ridiculed, if they don't participate.
It's ridiculous. I was one of the first of my group of friends to 'lose it' at the age of 15 (about three months off my 16th birthday) and the guy I did it with had been my boyfriend for over five months - we were totally serious and, in actual fact, he was the reason we waited so long... he was afraid he wouldn't be 'up to the challenge' and of course I didn't push the issue until he was ready. I don't regret it at all, we stayed together for a long time after that and were 'responsible' about what we were doing, and it was a good thing for both of us, I feel.
But why is there this 'pressure from guys' to put out? Um, get a clue, fellas - you've been playing with your bits for a while now, and you'll continue to do so even after you're 30, and married, and all the rest of it, so why would you feel a need to harrass your girlfriends into doing something they don't want to do, just so you can brag to all your friends about 'being a man'?
Trust me, sex really isn't all that and a bag of Doritos - you're much, much better off waiting until it's the right moment with the right person when you're both ready, than doing it with any old person in any old situation just so you can say you've experienced it.
And girls, if you have a boy who won't quit harping on about his 'needs', direct him to his right hand, a bottle of baby oil, and dump his pathetic ass. It sounds so cliched, but if he can't respect your wishes and your feelings about the issue, he's NOT WORTH A DIME.

With that being said, if you really are ready and do want to do stuff at a young age, make sure to have back-ups in regards to contraception - often a condom by itself isn't enough - get on the pill and use condoms, that kind of thing.