Suicide and Self harm

Scars On Broadway:

ohh no. i'm not ignorant about it. i know how bad it feels. i lost a very close friend from suicide a months ago and i felt very hopeless about everything but i tried my best to do other things than cut myself. i don't have anything against those who do. i think it's annoying to walk out in public and see a girl laughing with cuts all up her arm. i think it's annoying when someone goes, "khriss, i've been cutting myself lately and carving words into my arm," and knowing she's only doing it to look cool.

it just upsets me to see people harming themselves and escaping from life won't solve any of your problems.

You've lost a friend to suicide and you still can't see from their point of view? Sure, it's annoying when kids cut for attention. But there are tons more of people who cut and attempt suicide because they're actually depressed and they actually think that's how to solve their problems. It's really easy to lump them in with everyone else who does it just for attention, but you've got to understand they're not the same.

"i don't have anything against those who do."

And yet you continue to state that you think self harm and suicide are "rediculous". It's ridiculous.

Faye Merci:

Scars On Broadway:

ohh no. i'm not ignorant about it. i know how bad it feels. i lost a very close friend from suicide a months ago and i felt very hopeless about everything but i tried my best to do other things than cut myself. i don't have anything against those who do. i think it's annoying to walk out in public and see a girl laughing with cuts all up her arm. i think it's annoying when someone goes, "khriss, i've been cutting myself lately and carving words into my arm," and knowing she's only doing it to look cool.

it just upsets me to see people harming themselves and escaping from life won't solve any of your problems.

You've lost a friend to suicide and you still can't see from their point of view? Sure, it's annoying when kids cut for attention. But there are tons more of people who cut and attempt suicide because they're actually depressed and they actually think that's how to solve their problems. It's really easy to lump them in with everyone else who does it just for attention, but you've got to understand they're not the same.

"i don't have anything against those who do."

And yet you continue to state that you think self harm and suicide are "rediculous". It's ridiculous.

i've been in their place before and that's what makes me so annoyed by it. when they're that depressed and thinking about suicide, as hard as it might be, they should get help. even if it is hard to admit to that. it's selfish when someone commits suicide and has to leave everyone behind that loves him. maybe i don't like it because i've seen it happen so many times it's just annoying.

riley emminger.:

it's a lot easier to take the easy way out even if it means doing something "selfish" or "pointless" (like self-injuring or committing suicide).

If everyone always took the easy way the world would have been destroyed a long time ago.

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And it may not seem like that big of a deal, but getting help is actually very scary. Opening up to someone and talking about your feelings is incredibly hard to do, believe it or not, especially when it comes to issues like suicide and self-injury. People these days aren't exactly understanding or sympathetic

People are a lot more understanding than you think.
It really doesn't matter if it's scary or hard it's the right thing to do.

^I think I get you, maybe.

Eponine:

People are a lot more understanding than you think.
It really doesn't matter if it's scary or hard it's the right thing to do.

It doesn't matter if it's scary? I promise you, fear can keep you from doing everything. It can change your life. It isn't something to be laughed at. Or dismissed.

Faye Merci:

It doesn't matter if it's scary? I promise you, fear can keep you from doing everything. It can change your life. It isn't something to be laughed at. Or dismissed.

So you should let fear rule your life? If everyone did that we would be nowhere. I'm not dismissing it or laughing at it, but at some point you have to make the decision to help yourself or just give up on life.
In the long run it doesn't matter because even it it's scary getting help is the best thing for you.

Eponine:

So you should let fear rule your life? If everyone did that we would be nowhere. I'm not dismissing it or laughing at it, but at some point you have to make the decision to help yourself or just give up on life.
In the long run it doesn't matter because even it it's scary getting help is the best thing for you.

Oh no no, I think you should go for help. Most definitely. But I'm saying it's so, so hard, and I'm talking from a personal p.o.v. It's painful to tell as well as to hide it.

People cut for alot of reason, whether it be pressure, depression or just the fact that they can't handle anything anymore.

Punk Russia:

Now, see, this is what I don't get. How is cutting selfish or indulgant? It's not like you're cutting other people is it?

People do it to die, but people also do it to stay alive.

For example, I know a girl who's recovered now but she cut to try and bleed to death because she was suicidal. That, I don't condone.

But my best friend would do it because it was the only thing that would distract him long enough so he didn't kill himself. He didn't even realise he was hurting himself until I pointed out he always had bloody knuckles (he used to punch walls and stuff).

To me, self harm is a very complicated issue and cannot be lumped under one catagory such as 'selfish' or 'indulgant' or even 'addictive'. It is a very individual and private thing and can only be judged by a professional.

I actually agree with you. I honestly don't find it selfish if when your doing it you mean it, it can be a sign of help. It isn't the best answer, but when your desprete, sometimes you just need to get it all out in some way, I do not condone cutting either, but as a former addict I can empathize with an individual who is suffering. What I really hate is the girls that cut once, then run around and shove it in everyone's face and scream "I'm emo" I end up very apathetic towards them.

Mindfuck:

I disagree. I don't think people do it to live. I see people who self harm as having little regard for their own life.

that maybe, but if your suicidal, why would you have regard for yourself?

My Dear Delirious:

I honestly don't find it selfish if when your doing it you mean it, it can be a sign of help.

What do you mean by this exactly? I'm a little confused.

My Dear Delirious:

that maybe, but if your suicidal, why would you have regard for yourself?

I don't think they would, personally. "Their own life" included the person in that, because they are the centre of their lives at that moment.

Mindfuck:

My Dear Delirious:

I honestly don't find it selfish if when your doing it you mean it, it can be a sign of help.

What do you mean by this exactly? I'm a little confused.

like I said, if your not doing it to basically show it off or to be an "attention seeker" and I'm not saying that everyone who cuts is looking for attention, I think the people who really mean it are the ones who don't tell anyone and keep it secret, I did that from age 9-12. Then someone saw the scars. It was my silent cry for help, and part of me wanted it to always keep silent about it, the other part of me wanted someone to notice and help me with my addiction. By the time someone had finally noticed, I had scars covering my arms and legs, I had a few on my boob, some on my stomach, about 2 on my neck, some behind my ear, basically anywhere. they happened to notice one on my wrist which that was pretty well blened with my skin tone (my skin is very white and yet also somewhat rosy so scars can blend pretty well).

Mindfuck:

I don't think they would, personally. "Their own life" included the person in that, because they are the centre of their lives at that moment.

yes, we all are the center of our lives in some way, and when we are in pain how are we suppose to handle that

^I agree completely.

My Dear Delirious:

I honestly don't find it selfish if when your doing it you mean it, it can be a sign of help. It isn't the best answer, but when your desprete, sometimes you just need to get it all out in some way, I do not condone cutting either, but as a former addict I can empathize with an individual who is suffering.

You can self harm for those 'reasons', but it is still selfish. The point is to cause pleasure, and I think it's selfish to self harm because those who do it, do it with so much disregard to the fact that it is unhealthy, and (as mindfuck has said) disregard for their life. That's not to say that I don't empathize with those who self harm, I do, but from a completely objective point of view I believe that it is selfish.

^ But there are so many things that everyone does that is selfish.
There are probably things you do that people find selfish.
I know you find self harm selfish, but personally, I can't really see how it is. Because the self harmer usually doesn't fully realise what is happening.

Couldn't putting on make up be selfish?
If someone who self harms does it because they want to make themself feel good and give them pleasure, and someone puts make up on because it makes them feel good and they get pleasure out of it, then surely it would be the same thing.

AmyPoptart:

^ But there are so many things that everyone does that is selfish.
There are probably things you do that people find selfish.
I know you find self harm selfish, but personally, I can't really see how it is. Because the self harmer usually doesn't fully realise what is happening.

They may not 'realize' what is happening but underneath all the confusing emotions and everything that is going on they are making a purely selfish decision. Those who self harm aren't bad people, it's just the action itself that is so selfish.

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Couldn't putting on make up be selfish?
If someone who self harms does it because they want to make themself feel good and give them pleasure, and someone puts make up on because it makes them feel good and they get pleasure out of it, then surely it would be the same thing.

Except that make up can't kill you and isn't detrimental to your health at all. Obviously people do lots of selfish things everyday, but it's the fact that self harming is not only selfish, but so incredibly bad for you. I think you have to have an extreme level of selfishness (even if you don't realize it) to harm yourself.

Mindfuck:

^Not cutting, that's for sure.

There are probably people out there who feel cutting is helping them, but long term it is only hindering them. There is always an alternate help route(s) to cutting. But whether or not people use the alternate route(s) is their choice.

One of the alternate help routes for cutting is telling someone, getting help, talking it out. I would say most people who cut don't use this, because they are ashamed in some way.

My stance is: if they really had any regard for them and their own life, then they would eventually recognise they have a problem with cutting and would eventually seek help. Just like anyone with an addiction or a problem.

I aree with that, I don't praise cutters, it is very shameful, but they shouldn't be just turned away. There is something better to do, the alternatives are better then doing heroine too, but there are still people who do it.

But if your so ashamed of something, why would you just want to bring it out in the open? Now a days, you say "I'm not feeling to well" and people taunt you for being "emo" and if you heard about the riots down in Mexico, it's not always the safest to be labeled emo, trust me, its not fun to go to school and try to live your lifew with that label hanging over you. But by to my piont, it's kinda like when you were little and you dropped something and it broke, it could be on accident, but do you really want to go up to your parents and get spanked, or would u rather try and hide it, even if theres a possibilty of it being found out later and your punishment being even more

My Dear Delirious:

But if your so ashamed of something, why would you just want to bring it out in the open?

You wouldn't. Which is why I stated that most people who cut probably don't want to get alternate help to cutting.
In the end, the person who is cutting needs to end the cycle themselves if they choose to keep quiet about it.

Mindfuck:

You wouldn't. Which is why I stated that most people who cut probably don't want to get alternate help to cutting.
In the end, the person who is cutting needs to end the cycle themselves if they choose to keep quiet about it.

well, with every addiction, no with everything we create excuses, even to ourselves to keep doing it, so what should be done to help influence a person to break the cycle themselves?