| Author | Message |
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girl interrupted.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2792 | December 27th, 2008 at 07:49pm
harry stops to visit his friend tom, who is paralyzed from the waist down.
tom says, "my feet are cold. would you get me my sneakers for me?"
harry goes upstairs, and there are tom's two gorgeous daughters.
harry says, "hi, girls. your dad sent me up here to fuck you."
the eldest daughter says, "that's not true."
he says, "i'll prove it."
he yells down the stairs, "both of them?"
tom yells back, "of course both of them! " |
girl interrupted.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2792 | December 27th, 2008 at 07:53pm
three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be.
the first one stopped and took a pill.
"what was that?" the others asked her.
"oh, it was vitamin c - i want my baby to be healthy." a few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
"what was that?" the others asked.
"oh, it was iron - i want my baby to be big and strong."
they continued knitting. finally the third woman took a pill.
"what was that?" the others asked her.
"it was thalidomide," she said, "i just can't get the arms right on this fucking sweater!"
 |
playground eyes.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 14066 | December 28th, 2008 at 09:50am |
The Creature
In The Murder Scene
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 23462 | December 29th, 2008 at 10:18am Okay, my friend Srara is writing a book, and in it, the pepole time travel.
She wrote a scene where there are these two guys fighting, and they're in midevil times.
She's thinking of something that the one guy shuld say to the other, and comes up with
Ï shall ear your children whom are unborn!
Get it?  |
les sucettes.
In The Murder Scene
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 21132 | December 29th, 2008 at 10:20am I think i get it. ;D |
Smooth Criminal
Bleeding on the Floor
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 1373 | December 29th, 2008 at 01:27pm robert pattinson.:harry stops to visit his friend tom, who is paralyzed from the waist down.
tom says, "my feet are cold. would you get me my sneakers for me?"
harry goes upstairs, and there are tom's two gorgeous daughters.
harry says, "hi, girls. your dad sent me up here to fuck you."
the eldest daughter says, "that's not true."
he says, "i'll prove it."
he yells down the stairs, "both of them?"
tom yells back, "of course both of them! "
Thats funny but how can his feet be cold if he's paralyzed from teh waist down? |
girl interrupted.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2792 | December 29th, 2008 at 10:04pm Dead Memory.:robert pattinson.:
Thats funny but how can his feet be cold if he's paralyzed from teh waist down?
no idea, i got it off the internet.  |
Jenny.
Moderator
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 19720 | January 1st, 2009 at 12:05pm Jingle Bombs!: Okay, my friend Srara is writing a book, and in it, the pepole time travel.
She wrote a scene where there are these two guys fighting, and they're in midevil times.
She's thinking of something that the one guy shuld say to the other, and comes up with
Ï shall ear your children whom are unborn!
Get it? I don't |
colin meloy.
Bulletproof Heart
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 25006 | January 3rd, 2009 at 05:08am |
playground eyes.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 14066 | January 3rd, 2009 at 07:09am ^ FTW! xDD
 |
les sucettes.
In The Murder Scene
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 21132 | January 3rd, 2009 at 03:13pm I think that the last two are more for macro thread. |
Smooth Criminal
Bleeding on the Floor
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 1373 | January 4th, 2009 at 04:18pm A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "win the challange and get free beer for life" he asks the bartender to take the challenge. The bar tender walks out of the room and comes back with a horse. "you have to make it laugh" he says. "ok" the man says. He walks out of the room and comes back and the horse is hysterical laughing. "wow" the bartender says "now you have to make it cry". The man walks out of the room with the horse and comes back and the horse is crying. "im impressed, how did you make him laugh?" the bartender says. The man says " i told him my penis is bigger than his". "how did u make him cry?" the bartender asks. the man replies, "i showed him."
The next week the man comes back to finish his challenge. The bartender says "you must chug this bottle of vodka, pull that crocodiles tooth, and give that girl an orgasm"
The man chugs the vodka and walks into the room with the crocodile. Theres screaming, and blood everywhere. The man walk out and says "now wheres that girl's tooth I have to pull?" |
Freddy
Always Born a Crime
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5079 | January 5th, 2009 at 11:37am What's black, white and really hungry?
Madeline McCanns cat.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and the Pope?
The Pope will die a virgin.
What's worse than letting Michael Jackson have your child over for a sleepover?
Letting the McCanns take it on holiday.
Why did Mr and Mrs McCann cross the road?
That's where they abandoned the kids.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann jokes?
Madeleine McCann jokes will get old.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a tan?
A tan doesn't dissapear until after the holiday.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Elvis?
More people believe Elvis is still alive.
What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?
Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.
What have the parents of Madeleine McCann and Rhys Jones got in common?
They both know where their dead child is buried.
What's dead and not newsworthy?
Madeleine McCann.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and the Jews?
The Jews have some chance of celebrating this Christmas.
Madeleine's holiday was a typical trip to a European resort. Ruined by a stupid Gerry.
A new car being launched in Portugal, with space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann.
"The main objective of the Madeleine fund is to leave no stone unturned in the search for Madeleine." Except the stone they buried her under, presumably.
There once was a young girl called Maddie
She had such an irresponsible daddy
Snatched from her bed
She's probably dead
Raped by a Portuguese baddy |
marley.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 10418 | January 5th, 2009 at 12:26pm haaaaaaaaaa they are awesome XD ^ |
dom howard.
Banned
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 46925 | January 6th, 2009 at 03:35pm  epic win! |
The Creature
In The Murder Scene
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 23462 | January 7th, 2009 at 09:24pm Vanya Hargreeves:Jingle Bombs!: Okay, my friend Srara is writing a book, and in it, the pepole time travel.
She wrote a scene where there are these two guys fighting, and they're in midevil times.
She's thinking of something that the one guy shuld say to the other, and comes up with
Ï shall ear your children whom are unborn!
Get it? I don't "I will eat your unborn children"
What's a man's unborn children? Sperm.
How would the man have to eat the other man's sperm?
:;tehe: |
helli.heartbreak
Fabulous Killjoy
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 110 | January 8th, 2009 at 08:44am whats blue and yellow and at the bottom of a pool.?
-baby with slashed floaties.
whats red and yellow and at the top of a pool.?
-floaties with a slashed baby.
=D |
dom howard.
Banned
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 46925 | January 8th, 2009 at 01:27pm A man is about to have sex with his girlfriend. He strips off, taking his shirt off first and says "Phwoar, ten tonnes of dynamite bby". He then takes of his trousers and says "Phwoar, another ten tonnes of dynamite, bby." He whips off his underwear, and his girlfriend screams and runs out the room. He follows after her, asking what's wrong, and she says "With such a short fuse and all that dynamite, I had to run away."
LOL.
|
Cereal Killer
Banned
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 222 | January 9th, 2009 at 01:53am What's the best thing about fucking twenty-three year olds?
There's twenty of them  |
Fear and Regret
Crash Queen
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 33926 | January 11th, 2009 at 04:48am The German dog told the Jewish cat to shut up. . .
Wow.
XD |
