| Author | Message |
|---|
playground eyes.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 14066 | January 26th, 2009 at 08:50am
^ LOL! I like the Aussie ones!! xDD
Little Johnny's father sat down next to him on the couch one day and said, "Okay, Johnny, once there was this big, black rooster, and it was sitting on a fence post. How many wings does the rooster have?"
Johnny replied, "It has two."
Little Johnny's father then asked, "How many eyes does the rooster have?"
Johnny replied, "It has two."
Little Johnny's father then asked, "Well then, how many legs do you think the rooster had?"
Johnny replied, "It has two, daddy."
So then, Little Johnny's daddy said, "Well then, a big white cat walks up to where the big black rooster is standing on the fence post and opens its mouth to hiss at the rooster. How many teeth does the cat have?"
Little Johnny scratched his head and replied, "I don't know daddy, how many teeth does the cat have?"
Little Johnny's daddy grabbed him by the arm and exclaimed, "Alright boy, how come you know so much about big black cock & so little about white pussy?" |
The Creature
In The Murder Scene
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 23462 | January 26th, 2009 at 03:15pm Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on his mother,
Accidentally hit a bump, and now has a little brother
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch some marijuana,
Jack got high and unzipped his fly
And then said, "Do you wanna?"
Jill said, "Yes!"
And dropped her dress,
and then they had some fun,
But silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now they have a son |
deathcar.
Jazz Hands
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 299 | January 27th, 2009 at 01:28pm rofl.
i love these :'D |
OutsideFan
Killjoy
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 1 | January 31st, 2009 at 12:54pm Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on his mother,
Accidentally hit a bump, and now has a little brother
I Laughed So Hard At That :]] |
Freddy
Always Born a Crime
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5079 | March 16th, 2009 at 02:29pm What do you call Jade Goody in a wedding dress?
A shuttlecock. |
Fatatio
Bulletproof Heart
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 26349 | March 16th, 2009 at 02:55pm omg, i missed this thread! =D |
marley.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 10418 | March 16th, 2009 at 04:18pm Bert McCracken:What do you call Jade Goody in a wedding dress?
A shuttlecock.
haaaaaa !
what do you call a smart blonde ?
a golden retreiver. |
lisbeth salander.
Shotgun Sinner
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 9025 | March 17th, 2009 at 11:00am Gerard Way, Lmfao. The Brit ones are so true XD.
Okay, so my brother told me this one the other day, it's rather crap, but nevermind xD.
One day in a block of flats, the first man on the top floor decided to have a shave out the window.
The second man on the floor below had a pee out the window.
The third man on the ground floor had a barbeque just outside.
Later that day, the first man said "I had a bad day, I dropped my shaver."
The second man said "I had a really bad day, I lost my dick."
The third man said "I had a really good day, I got an extra sausage!"
XDD.
/Not entirely sure if it made sense typing it up.
|
Freddy
Always Born a Crime
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5079 | March 17th, 2009 at 04:46pm Fritzl jokes:
I've just bought this Austrian girls diary off ebay. Its not very interesting it just
says:
Monday: Stayed in
Tuesday: Stayed in
Wednesday: Stayed in.
******
Sound of Music 2 will be released soon featuring the Von Trapped family, Should be good. It took 24 years to complete in a secret basement in Austria.
*******
Josef Fritzl is delighted that his sentence has been reduced to 100 hours community service.
He has been ordered to spend it teaching Gerry McCann how to lock a door.
******
Picture the scene; 1984, a supermarket in Austria:
Josef Fritzl; "Now, Elisabeth, give me a hand with putting these groceries in the trolley."
Elisabeth; "Up yours, Dad! I'm eighteen! I wanna go to the Wham concert with my friends, then see Ghostbusters at the cinema, and there's nothing you can do about it, old man!"
Josef; "Just wait 'till I get you home, young lady! You're gonna get such a hiding..."
*******
You know you're hiding a really dirty secret when instead of having skeletons in the closet, you've got inbred children in the cellar... |
dom howard.
Banned
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 46925 | March 18th, 2009 at 03:26pm  !!!
I bought a Jade Goody calendar for charity. It only goes up to April. |
Freddy
Always Born a Crime
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5079 | March 19th, 2009 at 01:56pm HAAAAA!!!! ^^^
I heard that Elton John is going to release a charity record for Jade Goody. It’ll be called “Cancer in the Minge”.
*****
Isn't it ironic: Jade Goody's head looks like an egg, and it'll be in a box this Easter.
*****
What will Jade Goody be doing this Christmas?
Babysitting Jett Travolta.
*****
How do they make roads in South Africa?
They make the black people lay down and have every other one smile.
*****
How do you kill 50 flys at once?
Hit a somailen in the face with a shovel
*Not racist! Just jokes I have heard. |
Ahead of the Curve
Always Born a Crime
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 5918 | March 21st, 2009 at 06:43am What did the woman who found out her husband was gay do?
She took it like a man
My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.
Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"
Jade Goody has cancer, and she claims that she is worried that hair loss might ruin her looks.
Nice to see she hasn't lost her sense of humour.
|
girl interrupted.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2792 | March 21st, 2009 at 07:42am Bert McCracken:
Josef Fritzl is delighted that his sentence has been reduced to 100 hours community service.
He has been ordered to spend it teaching Gerry McCann how to lock a door.
oh, that made me lol so hard. xDD |
believing.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2318 | March 21st, 2009 at 01:33pm Ahahaha, LMAO at everything. xD |
The Creature
In The Murder Scene
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 23462 | March 21st, 2009 at 11:10pm How long does it take a balck woman to shit?
Nine months.
A Hispanic man walks into a bar, and then an old white man truns around, and says "Hey, no colored people allowed!"
The Hispanic man yells "Colored? You think I'm clored? When I was born, I was brown. When I get sick, I am brown. When I get out from the sun, I am brown. When I am cold, I am brown. When I do not breath, I am brown. And when I die, I will be brown."
He walks closer to the white man.
"But you, pendejo, when you were born, you were pink. When you get sick, you turn green, When you get out from the sun, you are red. When you are cold, you are blue. When you do not breath, you are purple. And when you die, you turn white. And you think I'm the colored one?!"
Jose was the sun of Mexican immagrants. Thy lived near Yankee stadium. One day, little Jose went to see a baseball game, but, they ran out of tickets. Walking on the sidewalks of the stadium, Jose met the man who puts up the flag. He asks Jose if he wants to help him. Jose says yes, and he got into the stadium.
When he got home, he had a big smile on his face, and said to hsi parents, "Mami, Papi! You'll never belive it! The Americans are so nice. When I helped put the fl;ag up, they all stood up, looked at me, and sang "Jose, can you see?" |
deathcar.
Jazz Hands
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 299 | March 24th, 2009 at 11:01am rofl, the Fritzl and Jade Goody ones made me laugh.
[It was sad to hear she died, but the media pisses me off, reporting everything about her life.] |
James Owen. Sullivan
Banned
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 12000 | March 24th, 2009 at 11:43am Two male dogs are chatting in the vet's waiting room. One asks the other "What're you in for?"
The second dog answers "Well, my owner was giving me a walk, and i saw this gorgeous poodle! She was so beautiful, I just couldn't resist. I ran towards her, to, you know, have my fun, and I ended up dragging my owner across the ground on the park. So.. I'm in here to get fixed. How about you?"
"Yeah, yeah, it was the same for me. my owner came downstairs after her shower, wearing nothing but a towel... I just couldn't resist!"
The other dog was surprised, and asked "Oh, you're here to get fixed too?"
The first dog answered: "No, I'm here to get my nails cut."
is it creepy that I learned this one from a teacher? |
fault lines.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 10075 | March 27th, 2009 at 02:25am haha gerard way those are so funny
the aussie ones are pretty much all true XP |
playground eyes.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 14066 | March 27th, 2009 at 11:33am Tholomew Plague.:
is it creepy that I learned this one from a teacher?
 that really is creepy, haha!!  |
James Owen. Sullivan
Banned
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 12000 | March 28th, 2009 at 10:45am in her defence, she's a really cool teacher and none of us were AT SCHOOL. |
