Rape

i feel so sorry for people who have been raped. dont even bother saying its because they wear revealing clothes. they dont go around with 'im a slut, rape me' tattooed on there forehead do they???

i nearly got raped the other week or so by somebody ive known since i was 2 yeas old and it scared me so much. if my cousins husband didn;t walk by and hear me scream, i dont want to think what would've happened to me.

i told my mates the day after and my boy mates are going to kill him. two of my mates al ready ahve had a go at him and he say that he was only messing around. was he fuck. the way i was screaming rape didnt show to me that he was 'messing around'

^It does make sense. But, I feel if the girl specifically says "no" then he needs to respect that. So what if she was being flirtacious? A female has every right to flirt just as much as a male does. But, as soon as she says "no" to him, he needs to back off.

Surrender to nothing;;:

Okay... But let's say poeple at clubs. Some girl goes up to guy and is dressed a certain way. all of you have made it clear it's not the way they dress that is the cause of this. Which in many cases it just might be. But what about how they are talking to the guy? Or if they're touching or dancing with them a certain way? In other words, teasing. And then when the guy wants to the girl backs out and he gets mad and rapes her.

Now tell me, who's fault was it?

The guy who fell into the trap or the girl who teased?

So yes, some women do ask you for it. They push the guys buttons and then try and act like a victim when it backfires on them.[/color]

Clothing and behaviour cannot be used as excuses for rape. I don't doubt that some girls lead men on in clubs and give out signals that make men think they're well in there. But they still have a right to back out, to say no and a "no" is a no. That doesn't mean the teased man has a right to have his way anyway. So whose fault is it? The rapists. If the person rapes the teaser despite the fact that they changed their mind, and they rape out of anger/rejection/whatever it's still the rapists 'fault'. (In my opinion.) If you have an emotion, you have a responsibilty to control it to avoid causing harm to yourself and others. Sometimes, emotions are difficult to control, but that does not alleviate blame.

clarissa:

Clothing and behaviour cannot be used as excuses for rape. I don't doubt that some girls lead men on in clubs and give out signals that make men think they're well in there. But they still have a right to back out, to say no and a "no" is a no. That doesn't mean the teased man has a right to have his way anyway. So whose fault is it? The rapists. If the person rapes the teaser despite the fact that they changed their mind, and they rape out of anger/rejection/whatever it's still the rapists 'fault'. (In my opinion.) If you have an emotion, you have a responsibilty to control it to avoid causing harm to yourself and others. Sometimes, emotions are difficult to control, but that does not alleviate blame.

in that case i think it would be both's fault.
the girl for teasing, the guy for being so easy to give in. i mean, teasing is okay. sometimes. if its someone you hardly know (like someone you meet at a bar) then you shouldnt tease in the first place. but if it is someone youve known, teasing is okay-if you know they can handle it. so it kinda goes both ways. but no one WANTS or TRIES to get raped.

new jersey:

in that case i think it would be both's fault.
the girl for teasing, the guy for being so easy to give in. i mean, teasing is okay. sometimes. if its someone you hardly know (like someone you meet at a bar) then you shouldnt tease in the first place. but if it is someone youve known, teasing is okay-if you know they can handle it. so it kinda goes both ways. but no one WANTS or TRIES to get raped.

Teasing < rape.
Rape is a crime, teasing is just teasing. If you consider it to be both parties fault in the situation we're discussing, and think that teasing is "okay" then surely you think rape is okay, too? If both victim and rapist have equal blame, then their actions are equally reprehensible or illegal. Otherwise, you're working with a double standard.

Teasing a guy, a bit of flirting, does not mean you should expect to be raped. You're having a bit of fun flirting and you don't expect/ask/deserve to be forced to have sex. Is teasing really that bad? Does it really warrant rape?

clarissa:

new jersey:

in that case i think it would be both's fault.
the girl for teasing, the guy for being so easy to give in. i mean, teasing is okay. sometimes. if its someone you hardly know (like someone you meet at a bar) then you shouldnt tease in the first place. but if it is someone youve known, teasing is okay-if you know they can handle it. so it kinda goes both ways. but no one WANTS or TRIES to get raped.

Teasing < rape.
Rape is a crime, teasing is just teasing. If you consider it to be both parties fault in the situation we're discussing, and think that teasing is "okay" then surely you think rape is okay, too? If both victim and rapist have equal blame, then their actions are equally reprehensible or illegal. Otherwise, you're working with a double standard.

Teasing a guy, a bit of flirting, does not mean you should expect to be raped. You're having a bit of fun flirting and you don't expect/ask/deserve to be forced to have sex. Is teasing really that bad? Does it really warrant rape?

ok i see what you mean but everyone's minds work differently
sure a girl may flirt with a guy and think of it as nothing but the guy may think that the girl really really wants him and then it can result in rape so i blame it on both the men and the women

because a woman shouldn't be so flirtatious if she doesn't really like a guy because then they are just leading them on

and the guys dont have enough common sense to know that no means no

emomonkey:

ok i see what you mean but everyone's minds work differently
sure a girl may flirt with a guy and think of it as nothing but the guy may think that the girl really really wants him and then it can result in rape so i blame it on both the men and the women

because a woman shouldn't be so flirtatious if she doesn't really like a guy because then they are just leading them on

and the guys dont have enough common sense to know that no means no

Yes, but a girl has the right to wear whatever she want's too, and she shouldn't have to constintely (sp) worry about whether a guy is going to rape her because of it. Sure, their clothing is a way of looking for a guys attention, but guys should know that when a girl says NO it means NO. It doesn't matter if the girl was leading him on or not, she obviously doesn't want to have sex with the man. If the guy is still horny, he should go get a prostitute, who will have sex with him.

[MakeDamnSheri]:

Do you know in some states (I forget which one(s)) it's legal for a husband to rape his wife? How disturbing is that?

That makes me feel ill. I'm assuming it's a state in the US?
That's one reason why I'm glad I live here and not there....

i have a question considering statuatory rape (i dunno the exact word in english...and my spelling is probably wrong)

but, why is it called rape when a man who is 23 has sex with a girl who is, i dunno, 17....If she has sex with him willingly, of course ?

My best friend has an older boyfriend, but if anyone finds out she's seeing him or having sex with him, will he end up in jail for it cuz she's a minor?!

That sounds kinda silly to me because if both partners agreed to it and are aware of what they are about to do, the age shouldn't matter.

Please, don't forget the difference between statuatory rape(sp?) and pedophilia....I didn't mean that some 30- year-old can have sex with a 12-year-old girl or boy.

Ella falls from grace:

That makes me feel ill. I'm assuming it's a state in the US?
That's one reason why I'm glad I live here and not there....

It used to be legal in Australia too, until the 80's.
And it used to be legal for a man to seek a divorce on the grounds that his wife wouldn't have sex with him enough (up until 1975).

Rape is so disgusting.
I honestly don't see why people would force somebody to have sex with them against their will.

Behind My Crimson Eyes:

It used to be legal in Australia too, until the 80's.
And it used to be legal for a man to seek a divorce on the grounds that his wife wouldn't have sex with him enough (up until 1975).

Rape is so disgusting.
I honestly don't see why people would force somebody to have sex with them against their will.

That's disgusting.

Didn't that young 8-yr-old girl from Perth get raped and murdered?
I dunno, but it was something shockingly disturbing.

^ Yeah, I heard about that,
It was absolutely sickening,
She got raped, bashed so badly her bones broke, and murdered in a public toilet in a shopping centre.
And then it comes out that the guy who did this is possibly the same guy who raped and murdered a 2 year old boy in Englad 10 years ago.

Yeah, it's absolutely stomach-wrenching.
Her brother ended up finding her body.
I mean, how are you meant to feel?!
When something that bad has happened...

angel_of_unknown:

but, why is it called rape when a man who is 23 has sex with a girl who is, i dunno, 17....If she has sex with him willingly, of course.

That's not rape. It's molestation.

Statuatory rape is when one of the people participating are engaging in sexual acts, willingly, is under the age of 18. And the other is over.

Technically it's not molestation.

I think..anyway.

Oh. Hmm.
A teacher of mine told me that if someone over 18 had sex with someone below 18, willingly or not, it was molestation.
But I should have looked it up.

Perhaps the government feels that the older person should just wait because they said so. I don't know. Perhaps they feel they are overlords and want to dictate the world. [insert badass guitar solo]

Anyways, it's pretty hard to prove rape anyways, so it's most likely that you won't get caught.

Statutory rape= Sexual relations with a person who has not reached the statutory age of consent.

Molestation= To subject to unwanted or improper sexual activity.

So, statutory is when someone underage has sexual relations willingly.