Interracial Relationships

anyone who tells u that ur wrong for liking this person needs to go flush themself down a toilet.
last night my family was having an intense discussion about races. my brother is totaly racest and i think its horrible.
colour doesnt matter at all.
i have the nicest neighbors and they have been married for years.
jim is black, bonnie is white.
i never even think of it being wierd they r different races. when i look at them thats not what i notice at all.
dont take that shit dear.
u hangout with whoever u want. do what ever makes u happy. fuck the rest

I don't really thing the question is so much relationships between different races, but different cultures.

OhMyGee; It's Me!:

Maybe you find them unattractive, because you are stereotyping. Not all blacks have kinked hair, big bones, big lips, squashed noses and large jaws and brows of Aborigines Im sorry, i just find that hilarious. Imma add that to my stupid book.

Feel free, you're already in mine.
All I was doing was stating my opinion, whether you like or agree with it or not. If you read my post in its entirety, you would realise that I'm 'stereotyping' some whites as well as blacks - I stated that I find pale skin and fine bone structure so attractive as to find even people of Italian or Greek heritage unattractive because of their reputation for hairiness and swarthy (olive) complexions. I also find the average white trash unattractive if they have big muscles, bleached hair, or a tan.
Oh my God, I'm so racist I even hate my own race!
My point was that I don't give a rats' about interracial relationships, they're about as offensive to me as homosexual relationships (and, for the record, I'm bisexual and have had relationships with women as well as men), it's just that I have never in my 21 years on this earth met a person of certain heritage that I found sexually attractive. Sure, not all 'blacks' have big jaws and squashed noses, but even the finer-boned biracials still have dark skin and/or are hairy, two traits which are a definite turn-off for me. Call it shallow, but it's certainly not racist. All it is, is a personal opinion - for instance, you might not find members of the same sex attractive - that doesn't make you a homophobe or 'stupid' or 'stereotyping'.

LifeOnStandby:

I don't really thing the question is so much relationships between different races, but different cultures.

That's a good point... I don't think that one has been brought up in this thread as yet. Actually, that's probably one of the most intelligent theories I've heard all week.
I can imagine it would be really hard to maintain a relationship with someone who holds different religious beliefs, traditions and customs among other things to what you find 'normal'. For instance, I was watching 'Engaged and Underage' last night and the couple featured were a Mormon girl, her fiance who had converted to Mormonism in order for them to marry and have children (I'm assuming that Mormons are expected to reproduce with other Mormons and raise their offspring as Mormons), and the problem with their relationship was that the guy's family wasn't Mormon and therefore weren't allowed into the temple where the couple were getting married. It pissed the guy's mum off really, really badly that she wouldn't be able to be present at her son's wedding due to a 'stupid tradition'.
Granted, both these people and their families were white, but it is common to find that interracial relationships also carry the burden of not only public scrutiny (in places where people are 'offended' by seeing a black and a white holding hands), but very different family customs and traditions.

Race is like animals, different colors. It doesn't make anything different but appearence. So yeah, if you wanna marry someone who's not your color, go ahead. Racism ended after the Civil War. Well, not totally. But you know.

An interesting point that was raised on the Tyra Show (I'm watching it as I type this)... and a possible negative on interracial relationships - Do people who date exclusively outside their race hate themselves, and therefore project that by refusing to be in a relationship with someone of their own race?
Tyra just interviewed a gay couple, one an Asian man, his partner white, bonde-haired and blue-eyed.
The Asian guy was talking about how he is vilified by others who claim that the only reason he dates or is attracted to white men is because he hates himself for being Asian. An Asian man in the audience even stood up and said it himself - 'Why do you hate yourself so much that you only date white men? What's wrong with dating an Asian like yourself?'

Just a point I thought might be worth mentioning and discussing in this thread.

Tbh, in England, there isnt any predjudice towards interacial relationships. Infact its commonplace that 5 in 10 people are a mixture of different races and have partners from another race, also.
Personally, creed nor colour means nothing. Its not important to me whatsoever. It was never something that was up for debate, nor was I taught anything but to love everyone as equals growing up.
This subject is very close to home because my family are from Jamaica. In some more strict West Indian families, its not socially acceptable to date outside of your race. But both my sister and I were born in England to very liberal parents.

At 17, my sister began dating my now brother in law. He is half Greek Cypriot and half Scottish. They didnt actually get much said about it, though there were instances where people made nasty remarks. Even Adam's, my brother in law, family said indirect things about my sister.
But they didnt listen and they stuck it out. Theyre been together for 13 years and now have two daughters. And at ages 6 and 4, they are more aware of the different races around them but they dont care either. As my eldest niece said to me the other day, we're all pink inside.

I think more is being done from a younger age to educate people on different cultures and thus, slowly obliterating any distinctions about colour altogether.

i think racism is a heriffic thing. and u should be able to marry whoever u love no matter how they look or what they believe in. the other day my grandmother told me and i quote "mel, u dont like any black boys do u? i dont want u coming home one day with a different KIND of boy, if uk wat i mean." so i told her "grandmother, thats racist.... and im not racist.... i dont like anyone in my school, so u dont hav2 worry but u shouldnt be telling me who2 like or not."

I have no problems with that at all, hell I'm in a relatonship with a black chick. I think it's stupid that people jump to conclusions.

ilovegerardway2much:

i think racism is a heriffic thing. and u should be able to marry whoever u love no matter how they look or what they believe in. the other day my grandmother told me and i quote "mel, u dont like any black boys do u? i dont want u coming home one day with a different KIND of boy, if uk wat i mean." so i told her "grandmother, thats racist.... and im not racist.... i dont like anyone in my school, so u dont hav2 worry but u shouldnt be telling me who2 like or not."

Ha, my husband's already threatening to ground our daughter if she ever brings home a black guy, and she hasn't even been born yet.
Me personally, it would depend on the individual guy - sad to say, but the only decent Aboriginal guy I've met in my entire 21 years on this planet is the man my dad's sister married - he works hard, makes a living, loves his family, and has none of the 'black' traits that are prevalent among the majority of aborigines (and anyone out there who wants to prove me wrong, feel free - the stereotype wouldn't exist if there wasn't a reason for it). I forget at times that he's half-black, I mean he talks, dresses and acts like a white man, whereas the rest of the black population I've come across in my time does the opposite. I mean, I want the best for my kids, so if I see my daughter dating some useless bum who doesn't have a job and won't work to support his spouse and kids, who drinks excessively and has no respect for the law, then yeah, I'd beat the crap out of her for being a moron. But the same would apply to a white guy - if he was a bum, I'd ban them from seeing each other, it's that simple. I'm looking out for my kids' wellbeing and happiness, and the sad fact is that a lot of Australian aborigines just want to sit on their butts and bitch and whine about how they've got it so hard, while receiving handouts from the government without doing a damn thing to deserve them.
So, I wouldn't care if my daughter started dating a black guy, as long as he didn't act like a black guy.
I know this is going to cause some serious offence amongst you guys, but unless you live in Australia you've got no idea what I'm talking about, so unless you do, I'd appreciate it if you could hold off on the 'racist' taunts. The fact is, Australian 'black' is a vastly different thing from American 'black', and in saying that, unless you live amongst them and have had interaction with them, you can't tell me how to feel about them.

I mean, the reason your grandmother said that was probably because she's used to the stereotypical 'black' guy, and just wants the best for you, so doesn't want you bringing yourself down by being with a guy who's not going to support you financially, could be a drug user or jailbird (and face it, the stereotype is there, don't tell me I'm racist for simply repeating it - whether I believe it or not is irrelevant), or abusive or an alcoholic or something. Parents and family members are only looking out for their loved ones when they say things like that, and the only way you can change their mind is to point out that it's not only black people who can be unsuitable partners - there are just as many white guys out there who live off unemployment cheques, drink their pay away in front of the football, cheat on their wives and do other things that make them unsuitable husbands. It's just that your family can't say, 'Don't date anybody at all in case they're a loser', so they focus on 'don't date black guys' instead, as a warning to you to make a good choice - which of course you'd be able to do anyway if you had half a brain.
Don't be too critical, just explain that your relationship choices are your own, and that if you did end up dating a non-caucasian, your grandma can rest assured he'd be just as decent a citizen as you are, otherwise you wouldn't be with them. She's just scared you'll ruin your life by choosing an unsuitable partner, which could happen whether the guy is black or white. She just hasn't thought of it like that.

ilovegerardway2much:

i think racism is a heriffic thing. and u should be able to marry whoever u love no matter how they look or what they believe in. the other day my grandmother told me and i quote "mel, u dont like any black boys do u? i dont want u coming home one day with a different KIND of boy, if uk wat i mean." so i told her "grandmother, thats racist.... and im not racist.... i dont like anyone in my school, so u dont hav2 worry but u shouldnt be telling me who2 like or not."

ABSOLUTELY AGREE. Im a total hippie so i believe in peace and stuff like that.

I'm all for it. I never really notice race that much. I judge people by their character. Race doesn't affect a person's personality. Its all about how they were raised.

Cigarettes And Suicide:

jedicam10:

Well, i'm half black and half white and i knew this guys who alsways called me a half-breed. I was pissed off and never talked to him. It's easy to say how unoffensive something is when it aint aimed at YOU. Mixed = Fine. But giving us fancy names is INSULTING! Some maybe fine with it, but i can garentee most of the mixed population would feel offended. Bi-racial is like mixed but 'Hybrid' is getting to the piont of insult due to the fact that, it makes it sound like we are expirements.

I can see how half-breed could be considered offensive, but not only is it a totally different thing from 'hybrid', my point was that 'racial hybrid' was just as offensive as the term'bi-racial' or 'mixed-race'. As Ruby said (and goddamn, this girl always manages to hit the nail on the head), it's a technical term, not a 'fancy name' for something. The reason all these 'fancy terms' are being thrown around these days is because nobody can call anything what it is without being accused of racism/sexism/whatever issue is at hand.
Seriously, the world is getting far too politically correct because of people with opinions like yours, where nothing can be said out loud by anybody else because somebody might find it offensive. Like the term 'black sheep' being replaced by 'rainbow sheep' in the old nursery rhyme 'Baa baa black sheep' because non-caucasians might be insulted. What a crock!
All I was saying was that it seems you can't call anything by its name anymore for fear of some over-sensitive moron complaining about how freaking bigoted everybody is. Get over it - and this isn't a taunt, although you may read it as one, but you are half black and half white - so you're bi-racial, mixed-race, a racial hybrid. Would you rather people called you 'mutt' or 'impure' or something outright offensive?
Pick your battles.
Besides, this is a discussion for the racism thread, not the mixed-race relationship thread.

*slaps forehead*

You do realize that not all Black people look same? We come in all
shapes and shades. I'm very light for black person. In fact, a lot of people
think I'm Asian I can't believe people still have these types of
ideas in their head.

^ You are so right! These ignorant people are stuck in the bleedin' fifties! Everyone, from every race looks different. Not all Aisians have black hair, not all blacks have "big" nose, not all whites are pasty.

Also, I'm mixed race (half black, half white), and I'm very pale, and I get mistaken for being Aisian too. Gets annoying, doesn't it?

p

OhMyGee; It's Me!:

^ You are so right! These ignorant people are stuck in the bleedin' fifties! Everyone, from every race looks different. Not all Aisians have black hair, not all blacks have "big" nose, not all whites are pasty.

Also, I'm mixed race, and I'm very pale, and I get mistaken for being Aisian too. Gets annoying, doesn't it?

I hate when a random person will ask me what race I am. I never
seen any of these people in my life. Why do they feel the need to ask me this question? If I'm talking to Asian person I'm not going to ask are they Chinese, Korean, or Japanese? Mostly because I don't care...... and its rude.

Exactly. Nosey, cheeky bastards.

Mixtape3188:

*slaps forehead*

You do realize that not all Black people look same? We come in all
shapes and shades. I'm very light for black person. In fact, a lot of people
think I'm Asian I can't believe people still have these types of
ideas in their head.

OMG! Not all black people look the same?! Are you crazy?! But all white people look the same, so it's a given, right?
Duh, honestly, I have two perfectly functional eyes in my head. Where did I say anywhere in that post that I think all blacks look the same, or all Asians look the same, or all Mediterranians look the same?
I didn't, did I?
What I was saying in a previous post (not the one you quoted), and what I've said a million times in both this thread and the racism thread, is that unless you're Australian, you can't tell me what I see and interact with every day. American blacks are a vastly different thing from Australian blacks, and unless you live in Australia you don't know what I'm talking about.
Yes, there are some light-skinned Aboriginals, but the majority of them still have flat noses, prominent jaws, curly hair and a tendency to be hairy. Even if they didn't, I still wouldn't find them attractive because I'm turned on by skin that's so white you can see the veins through it. That's not racist, that's just my feelings on members of the opposite sex - would you call me homophobic if I just happened to not be attracted to women? No, that just makes me heterosexual, and there's nothing at all wrong with that.
Anyway, my point was, quote the right statement before going off on a rant that seemed totally irrelevant to the post you quoted, and I don't know why you're getting all snippy over being light-skinned - nowhere in any of my posts have I made reference to 'all blacks looking the same' or anything like that. They have similar physical characteristics, I didn't say they all looked like clones of each other.

Mixtape3188:

OhMyGee; It's Me!:

^ You are so right! These ignorant people are stuck in the bleedin' fifties! Everyone, from every race looks different. Not all Aisians have black hair, not all blacks have "big" nose, not all whites are pasty.

Also, I'm mixed race, and I'm very pale, and I get mistaken for being Aisian too. Gets annoying, doesn't it?

I hate when a random person will ask me what race I am. I never
seen any of these people in my life. Why do they feel the need to ask me this question? If I'm talking to Asian person I'm not going to ask are they Chinese, Korean, or Japanese? Mostly because I don't care...... and its rude.

OhMyGee - again, try reading previous posts before jumping in to get annoyed at somebody - if you don't know what's been said, I suggest you read over it and inform yourself. And although I realise your use of the term 'ignorant' was probably meant in general, I still take offense to it, as I'm anything but, and if you'd bothered to read my previous posts, you'd be well aware of that fact.

Back to Mixtape - I agree with you, strangers have no right to be asking questions about your heritage unless you're, say, filling out paperwork that asks questions about your ancestry (eg medical records, or welfare applications - in Australia, if you have Aboriginal heritage you get more money than a Caucasian or Asian and are eligible for certain incentive programs to get you a job). I find that really rude, and can't picture myself just walking up to somebody on the street and asking where their grandparents are from. Annoying as it is, it's not racism, just curiosity - a lot of people just don't have any tact, and have no second thoughts about walking right up to somebody and asking where they're from. It's rude, but it's the same as complete strangers walking up to me when I'm shopping and patting my seven-and-a-half-months pregnant stomach - they don't mean to offend me, they just think it's 'cute' and want to talk to me about it. They don't even walk up and ask me if they can touch my bely - they just stride up with hand outstretched and pat it, cooing at the baby and grinning like an idiot at me! However, I do get really upset over it, especially when it's men doing the rubbing - I mean, they wouldn't walk up to me in broad daylight and grope my breasts, so what gives them the right to touch my belly, just because it sticks out?
So I can understand where you're coming from with that opinion, but try and shrug it off - these people don't realise they're being rude, it's typical of humans to want to slot others into a neat little category, and they can't do that without asking. Next time it happens, point out to them that you find it tactless and unnecessary that they would ask that of you, and maybe even say something like, 'I'm a freaking Eskimo, where are you from, Argentina?' and they might realise just how stupid they're being.

Cigarettes And Suicide:

Mixtape3188:

*slaps forehead*

You do realize that not all Black people look same? We come in all
shapes and shades. I'm very light for black person. In fact, a lot of people
think I'm Asian I can't believe people still have these types of
ideas in their head.

OMG! Not all black people look the same?! Are you crazy?! But all white people look the same, so it's a given, right?
Duh, honestly, I have two perfectly functional eyes in my head. Where did I say anywhere in that post that I think all blacks look the same, or all Asians look the same, or all Mediterranians look the same?
I didn't, did I?
What I was saying in a previous post (not the one you quoted), and what I've said a million times in both this thread and the racism thread, is that unless you're Australian, you can't tell me what I see and interact with every day. American blacks are a vastly different thing from Australian blacks, and unless you live in Australia you don't know what I'm talking about.
Yes, there are some light-skinned Aboriginals, but the majority of them still have flat noses, prominent jaws, curly hair and a tendency to be hairy. Even if they didn't, I still wouldn't find them attractive because I'm turned on by skin that's so white you can see the veins through it. That's not racist, that's just my feelings on members of the opposite sex - would you call me homophobic if I just happened to not be attracted to women? No, that just makes me heterosexual, and there's nothing at all wrong with that.
Anyway, my point was, quote the right statement before going off on a rant that seemed totally irrelevant to the post you quoted, and I don't know why you're getting all snippy over being light-skinned - nowhere in any of my posts have I made reference to 'all blacks looking the same' or anything like that. They have similar physical characteristics, I didn't say they all looked like clones of each other.

Mixtape3188:

OhMyGee; It's Me!:

^ You are so right! These ignorant people are stuck in the bleedin' fifties! Everyone, from every race looks different. Not all Aisians have black hair, not all blacks have "big" nose, not all whites are pasty.

Also, I'm mixed race, and I'm very pale, and I get mistaken for being Asian too. Gets annoying, doesn't it?

I hate when a random person will ask me what race I am. I never
seen any of these people in my life. Why do they feel the need to ask me this question? If I'm talking to Asian person I'm not going to ask are they Chinese, Korean, or Japanese? Mostly because I don't care...... and its rude.

OhMyGee - again, try reading previous posts before jumping in to get annoyed at somebody - if you don't know what's been said, I suggest you read over it and inform yourself. And although I realize your use of the term 'ignorant' was probably meant in general, I still take offense to it, as I'm anything but, and if you'd bothered to read my previous posts, you'd be well aware of that fact.

Back to Mixtape - I agree with you, strangers have no right to be asking questions about your heritage unless you're, say, filling out paperwork that asks questions about your ancestry (eg medical records, or welfare applications - in Australia, if you have Aboriginal heritage you get more money than a Caucasian or Asian and are eligible for certain incentive programs to get you a job). I find that really rude, and can't picture myself just walking up to somebody on the street and asking where their grandparents are from. Annoying as it is, it's not racism, just curiosity - a lot of people just don't have any tact, and have no second thoughts about walking right up to somebody and asking where they're from. It's rude, but it's the same as complete strangers walking up to me when I'm shopping and patting my seven-and-a-half-months pregnant stomach - they don't mean to offend me, they just think it's 'cute' and want to talk to me about it. They don't even walk up and ask me if they can touch my bely - they just stride up with hand outstretched and pat it, cooing at the baby and grinning like an idiot at me! However, I do get really upset over it, especially when it's men doing the rubbing - I mean, they wouldn't walk up to me in broad daylight and grope my breasts, so what gives them the right to touch my belly, just because it sticks out?
So I can understand where you're coming from with that opinion, but try and shrug it off - these people don't realize they're being rude, it's typical of humans to want to slot others into a neat little category, and they can't do that without asking. Next time it happens, point out to them that you find it tactless and unnecessary that they would ask that of you, and maybe even say something like, 'I'm a freaking Eskimo, where are you from, Argentina?' and they might realize just how stupid they're being.

ok, I get what you're saying