She, The Souless Warrior, of Vast Suicidal Thoughts.

bumpsies

:: Fuck You ::

The car journey was long, and silent.
I got home and found your message,
"haha" was all I could think off.
You're so pathetic, it sometimes amuses me.
If you think you being angry at me, still affects me,
you're sorrowfully mistaken.
I learned to move on, I realised what a person you really are.
And I don't miss you anymore, I deserved better. (I got it).

I could remember the tears I had cried,
remembering the words I kept repeating in my mind.
"Fuck you.
Fuck you.
And fuck you one thousand times."
I didn't need you by my side.

If you think you've got hold over me,
you're far from correct, pretty much wrong.
I won't be running back into your arms.
I can't comprehend how much your anger,
has given me strength to move on and find someone better.

I'm smiling right now, just thought I'd let you know.
I won't be crying over you at any time of the day (or night),
who would ever waste their time on you?
Fuck you one thousand times, I don't need you as my friend.

:: Sometimes ::

Sometimes I feel so low; I just need a little hug.
Sometimes I'll feel like I could let go; you just have to tell me 'no'.
Sometimes I can't contain the words I speak; it's my temper speaking,not me.
Sometimes I get jealous; yes I can scream and shout!
Sometimes I get so insecure; a little reassurance would help.
But sometimes; I just can't wait round.

Bullet to the head, heart to the broken.
String of confidence; what exactly is that?
Pain in my heart, the mess that lives within my mind.

A remedy for lonelieness, is there even sucha thing?
Lovesick notes, that doesn't mean a damned thing.
I used to smile and laugh, now it's all tears and fears.
I've become nothing, but something purely fake.

Sometimes; I just need someone to love me.

i've read your work and i love your poems! angels is so beautiful and i especially love "thank holy fros for liquor!", "hopeless", "poetic disguise", "somewhere (like home)", and "a treasured gem. (one last hope)"!
i can really relate to your poems "sometimes", "a disease", and "simple goodbye" and your poem "fuck you" definitely gets me fired up lol =]
you have a gift in poetry for sure and your poems are so touching, keep writing!

Kitty Clover:

i've read your work and i love your poems! angels is so beautiful and i especially love "thank holy fros for liquor!", "hopeless", "poetic disguise", "somewhere (like home)", and "a treasured gem. (one last hope)"!
i can really relate to your poems "sometimes", "a disease", and "simple goodbye" and your poem "fuck you" definitely gets me fired up lol =]
you have a gift in poetry for sure and your poems are so touching, keep writing!

*blushes highly* ohmygoodness. thankyou so much. that means a lot to me!!

:: Aware Yet? ::

I heard it took a lot of bravery, to admit up to your sins.
To set the rights from the wrongs of your mistakes.
I heard all sorts of things, while I lived, kicked down to the ground.

I'm the family's disgrace, do you remember?
I felt all the pain from my breaking heart; your rejection caused it.
And the countless nights, I wept, only for your acceptance, which I so very much lacked.
You couldn't believe your own daughter, for not even a second in your life.

I know I've been a liar in the past, but sometimes I speak truth.
I do face honesty in the eyes, if I have too.

Are you aware yet, of the damage you've caused me?
The pain my heart suffered, the cause of my dreams falling to pieces?
These scars, I keep re-opening, they're only for you.
They tell my story of pain; you're the reason why I want to die.

Are you aware yet, you're the person who's caused me to hate myself?
I can't believe i tried to open up to you once or twice,
only seemed like a waste of time, cause I was your waste of space.

And now I'm quite aware, I spent fifteen years waiting for something I'll never receive.
Waiting for you to see, I'm worth your love and kindness.
But you'll never be aware of that, till you've lost what you got.

Great new poems I see...

Pretty Black Sky:

Great new poems I see...

Aw,thanks so much.
Xxxxxx means a lot to me!

No problemo,Lora (:

:: Story About Life ::

The world is an ugly place, through the troubled eyes of the beholder.
If there was no beauty in this world, it'd be a desserted wasteland.
Through your triumphant standup through the bad, always comes the good.
To reward you for your strength; you're not lost anymore.

These blackened skies hold tears, when somebody dies.
And it lets them fall, when truth is told.
There's a killer among us all.
And we're fighting for the better good of the world.

And sometimes life can take a funny twist, can take grips on what our future holds.
Sometimes it seems to feel too much to handle, but when you finally
become acceptant of the terms of your current situation, you'll be forgiven.
Because by accepting yourself, you'll hit life with all you've got,
and you won't ever allow yourself to fall back down.

The world is sometimes a perfect place, when you look past the bad, you always see the good.
And thats what we need to bring out in people, 'cause the world will always revolve around.
Untill we've all fallen down, but times change and we have to press to move on.
There's no point in hanging 'round.

There will always come the bad with the good.
And that's something we have to accept,
as we'll never be able to change certain things.
But you could change somebody's life, by just caring.

:: R.I.P Nan ::

Some thoughts unfold, the futures still not told.
I wonder where I'll be when it's time for me to leave.
I used to cry all night long, for your prescence; it is gone.
I used to have your image pictured perfect in my mind, now I remember next to nothing.
If one thing I remember, it's you're the one who came home and cuddled me warm;
played with all my toys and never once had a go. I was innocent, I was sweet.
I was your precious little girl and nothing could part us in any way.
Till that day came, when we had to say goodbye. I'll never forget you in any case.
Rest in Peace Nan, you'll always be my best friend.

:: My Life, Entitled With Three Words ::

the rain hails down, the car speeds along
the windscreen wipers screech in vain,
and sat solitarily in the background,
I'm carving words into my veins
my life, entitled with three words; depression, hatred and broken-dispair

:: My Life (My Unregretable Mistakes) ::

Words, they speak.
Horrified to breath.
Hatred buried deep.
Am I alone, or am I gone?

Tears, they form.
Breaking down, (breaking down),
left all alone, crying in the staircase.
I've seen this broken room for far too long.

And when the day's gone,
I've done nothing but wrong.
My existance was the worst of all,
I still want to die.

Although I'm still filled with self-doubt,
hope lingurs silently, waiting to be catched.
Only if I fall, this time I'm sure to break.

Breakable,
Breakable,
Untouchable scars.

And I'll sit by myself,
I'm still the same little girl,
I always was.

Unimportantly invisible.
Unwantedly known.
Worthlessly useless, and it shows.

I fear I may break,
while my aching heart,
it bleeds, it still bleeds.

I can't become you,
and I've lost my dreams,
I've lost myself for who I really am.

So when it's time to say,
"I'll never hurt you again",
I don't believe you this time.

:: New Jersey ::

I'll fly on paper wings, till I know what I've become.
I still feel like there's another place, where I belong.
My life doesn't seem to feel a certain ammount of content.
There's so many things missing, and I can't find the key to unlock them.

And as I fall, off those swings.
The haze it seems to bring.
Overflow of thoughts.
And troubled things.
Flying through the sky, on imaginary wings.

And suddenly I'm where I've always needed to be.
I've found "home" and it's waiting for me.
New Jersey here I come, I'll be on my way home now.
I'll be waiting till this never-ending journey, it lands.

Very touching poems,especially "My Life (My Unregretable Mistakes)"

thankyou xx

This is meant to be song lyrics. I'm not sure on it though. :/

:: How Do You Feel? ::

I sit and wonder.
Tears, they're visible.
The glitter, it tends to fade.
Trouble, life always seems to bring.
And misery, for there is no escape.

How do you feel, about me now?
I've gone and let the world down.
For the light, it mists over.
And I'm lost, sat in the cold of the dark.

Faces, I can't seem to portrait.
They've left me, and gone.
For my memory, it has faded through the days.

How do you feel, about me now?
i said some shameful words to you, today.
And I struggle to say I am so sorry.
My actions aren't clear, but I only mean so well.

How do you feel, about me now?
Dad, I love you, I'm sorry I can't show.
I need you, to help me grow.

And how do you feel, about me now?
Mom, I love you so. I'm sorry, I wasn't what you wanted.
I need you, to help me heal these wounds.

I stand alone, trapped at the seams.
Memories has vanished, to the thick of nothing.
This ever-lasting pain, that hits me hard in the face.
And one last candle, is all that I have been given.

How do you feel, about me now?
I've gone and let the world down.
Would you still listen to me, if I said some words you didn't need to hear?
I'm still here mother, starring at you, and trying to crack a smile.
And I'm still here father, barely standing.
Do you still love me?

The tears cause my makeup to run.
And these feelings, I can't seem to tell anybody.
For what would you see in me, if you knew?
How do you feel, about me now?

How do you feel, about me now?
I'm trying to come home, brothers, trust me.
My tears are burning holes through the seams.
Making up for the agony I have caused you.
I never meant to let any one of you down.

:: I Can't Wait ::

The excitment begins.
And the friendships form.
The laughs are contagious.
And the smiles are pure.
I can't wait for this journey to begin.
Please take me somewhere exotic.
And let me have some fun with the men.

The nights draw in late.
Outpartying with the gang, is always the bomb.
The money it goes like water to the drain.
I can't wait for this lifetime of fun.
The friends who mean the most, will be there to share.

And I can't wait to say goodbye, to my old life.
I can't wait to say goodbye, to you and all the troubled times.

My oh my, I've spent the night dancing.
And my friends are hitting on the guys.
It's always fun, when I'm with the gang.

The invicible feeling is incredible.
Knowing nothing will stop us achieve our goals.
I can't wait to say goodbye, bye, bye, bye.

The laughs are contagious.
And the smiles are pure.
I can't wait for this journey to begin.
Please take me somewhere exotic.
And let me have some fun with the men.
I can't wait to say goodbye, bye, bye, bye.

:: Feelings you'll never know ::

I sit alone in silence, in the back of my thoughts.
Wondering if I should wallow in my self-pity some more.
There's plenty of fish in the sea, so people keep telling me.

I'm not fancy, smart, or completely pretty.
I don't do drugs or have a complete bender.
But I swim in despair and you don't care.

I had one shot and I guess I could've done better.
One minute I'm all independent, the next I'm all on my own.

But theres feelings you'll never know.
They run deeper than what you think.
And I'm surprised I can hide them as well as I do.

:: Lost ::

Lonely little secrets, I tend to keep.
Insecurity that runs so deep.
And my breathing, it seems to slow.
Is it really time for me to go?

I didn't want to let go.
I feel like a solider wounded in the war.
Knowing I should be stronger than this.
But I'm struggling to breath.
Spitting out the blood that lined my mouth.

Everything's going cold.
And the life seems to be draining from me.
I seem lost in a woods.
And I'm dying slowly.
Dying oh so slowly and silently.