Student/Teacher Relationships
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| the original JULES Demolition Lover  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 19598 | Unless you've had a close relationship/friendship with a student/teacher, you probably wouldn't understand exactly what it's all about. Your mum, Jenni, is a teacher. And by the sounds of it, a very decent one too. But she's experienced the relationship between student and teacher, therefore that's her opinion on it. |
| Ceiling Gerard Awake and Unafraid  Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 14232 | I had a close relationship with a substitute teacher. He was only five years older than me- I was seventeen and he was 23. We always talked about video games, our favorite TV shows. He even gave me his Final Fantasy Seven. So I have experienced a close relationship with a teacher, and like I told one of my friends, if hypothetically he would have asked me out, I would have said no. 1. He could've lost his job, be labeled a sex offender, and never allowed to teach in the USA again. 2. I would have risked my own academic career. So this is an educated opinion. There's just certain places were relationships could bloosum, the classroom should not be one of them. |
| bloodredruby69 Banned  Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | Having said that your mother is a teacher and that SHE is totally disgusted with student-teacher relations, I can't help but wonder if the opinions you are toting are hers or your own. And I totally disagree with the statement that 15 and 25 year olds have nothing in common. Even in your worst enemies you can find similar likes and dislikes. We are, afterall, human. And I, for one, would like to hear a solid argument that doesn't simply use; it's wrong, it's illegal, they could lose their job. Because, quite frankly, if someone were in love (or even in particularly strong lust) those things wouldn't matter. And they tend to make a rather weak argument anyway. Love is unconditional and ageless. IF they LOVE each other and are together for that reason, and/or they are aware of the risks and their rights, they should be allowed to see each other. Period. |
| Ceiling Gerard Awake and Unafraid Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 14232 | My opinions are my own. My mother never tried to influence me. And even the fact you would say that offends me. I was getting my mothers take on it. And you are saying that ALL student teacher relationships are based on love? Bullshit. Have you talked to every student, every teacher. You would be surprised to find, if you did any research, that most student-teacher relationships are based on lust, and the likilyhood that it is a legit relationship is less than likely. Love. What is Love? Love is no a inent emotion. Love did not exsist in the cave men era, Love is new. Love is not as black and white, I agree, but love is not that easily grasp by a 15 year old, 14 year old, and perhaps even 1n 18 year old. My older sister is 30, and still doesn't know what love is. Teenagers are at a dissadvantage already, and know clear to nothing about love. They say love to justify their sexual relationship. Love is not sex. Teachers have gone to college traveled the world, seen the inside and out. Most teenagers don't make it outside their city. They are still in highschool, still learning. How can a teacher with all her intellegence see in a 15 year old? Maturity? Smarts? Sure, but like love thats slim to none. Teachers got the job to teach students, not to date them. It isn't their own personal dating service, and students shouldn't persue teachers, and visa versa. And all the arguments you threw out because you are so blinded by love, are VALID arguments. And despite what those little fairy tales tell us, love doesn't conquer all. |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | I did not say the comment about opinions to annoy or offend you, I stated what I thought. Usually, when someone argues plainly and refuses to at least try to see the other side, there is a reason. And, if you'll look back to my previous posts, I have said that I agree with you that teacher manipulation of students for sex/unjust reasons is wrong. I also know that most teacher/student relations are not necessarily the healthy kind. But there are some that are based on deeper thoughts than just procreation. THAT is what I'm trying to say. I am trying to speak of the mutual relationships, not just the unjust ones. Love is very rarely convenient. It doesn't really matter where you are, the possibility is there. I never insinuated that they should look for a partner in their classes, but if it happens, so be it. I stand by what I've said before. Given understandable parameters, there is no reason a teacher should not be allowed to have a relationship with a student. One more thing. I was curious whether that part about my opinions being valid was a jab, sarcasm or actual honesty. I'm leaning toward sarcasm. And I find it amazing that I can argue a point, being as "blinded" as I am (by a concept I'm not even 100% sure I believe in, btw) and do so rationally and calmly, without specific relation to you or use of vulgarity. |
| Ceiling Gerard Awake and Unafraid Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 14232 | It wasn't sarcasm, it was honesty. And unfountuatly, like I said, not all of these student teacher relationships are based on love, and making it legal, or acceptable would open the door for the real villians to leak through and take advantage of the students. It's just one of those things that can't be done, because no many people will tarnish it. |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | I never said it should be legal, though it might unclutter things some. What you are speaking about is taking advantage of the students, which would most probably be classified as molestation/sexual harassment/sexual assault/rape/etc, and should be viewed as the specific crime. What I was getting at in my long winded-ness was that not ALL of the relationships are bad, or done for the wrong reasons, and as such, the people that are involved in just relationships should not be legally penalized, as they have in actuality done nothing wrong. Those few should be accepted and embraced, rather than shunned and grouped together with the perverts or, for a lack of a better word, bad, people that try and use people for their own reasons. |
| Ceiling Gerard Awake and Unafraid Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 14232 | It isn't that easy to decifer which is a "truly loving" relationship, and a lustful one. And allowing it to go without legal punishment would lead into a frenzy of backlash. Everytime a teacher is caught in a lustful relationsip: he/she could jsut say it's concentual, and a loving relationship. That's why things have to stay they way they are, to protect the victims. |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | You are forgetting the mutual relationship part of the deal; both parties are interrogated. The only way the agressor will get away with it is if the victim stays quiet, just the same as in any other crime. Investigation and what not will seperate the wrong-doers from the innocent, but only in the event that the wronged stand up and fight. It's the same way with statatory rape. Underage people do have sex, and technically, it is statatory rape. But not all is actual rape, it is only classified as such due to the age of one of the participants. Sometimes it can be difficult to figure out whether it was willing or forced, but "victim" testimony will make the difference. |
| matfew churlz sanduz Shotgun Sinner  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 9716 | Jenni has a life: I agree whole heartedly with that statement. Teachers need to know where the line is between 'being friends' and 'getting intimate'. It's not appropriate for a teacher to be talking to a student about their love life, nor is it appropriate for a student to do likewise. But when a student is incapable of separating what's appropriate and friendly from what's inappropriate and intimate, that's when a third party (or the teacher themselves) needs to step in. I’m not saying it’s a teachers fault only, because that is not always the case, but being older (and apparently more mature) these teachers need to know where to draw the line. |
| Ceiling Gerard Awake and Unafraid Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 14232 | bloodredruby69: And then the judge will point his mallet to the teacher and would say :Statory rape, 3-5 years." Slam. That's how the world works. And thank you Shaking Ella's hand ^.^ |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | And unfortunately, there are innocent people put in jail because of the law seeing only the act, not the circumstance. Not every teacher involved in a relationship with a student is a bad person, or deserves to go to jail or be punished. |
| matfew churlz sanduz Shotgun Sinner Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 9716 | Jenni has a life: Hold... Shaking Ella's Hold. And Ruby, I agree with you, to some extent. But in the case of a female teacher pursuing a sexual relationship with a male student, unless the teacher is blackmailed (which is extremely rare but can occur) how can it be the student's fault? They've been manipulated, in essence. I'm just not too sure where someone would be innocent if they have committed the crime. Do you mean if they have been accused, but not actually committed such acts? |
| hmmm Motor Baby  Age: - Gender: - Posts: 790 | bloodredruby69: I agree with this 100%. If they do indeed love eachother, it's wrong to keep them from being together. |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | Ella, I was refering to those presecuted for having relations with a student, when the relations are mutual. They are accused of sexual harrasment or manipulation when there has been none. That is what I hate, innocent people getting attacked for things they didn't do, especially when they are grouped together with child molesters or sexual deviants, just because the focus on student-teacher relations is so narrow, that they only see wrong, not right or ok. |
| the original JULES Demolition Lover Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 19598 | I agree with you, Ruby. In some instances, it's the student trying to pursue the relationship, believe it or not. There was a case not too long ago here, that it was the student who gave suggestions to the teacher. You may argue that the teacher should have been more responsible, but if she felt feelings for the student, should her job stop her? Isn't it like homosexual relationships? If gender is not an issue, then age nor career status should be of an issue. Right? |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | ^That's the wisest thing I've heard on this thread so far. If you strip away the place in society, you are left with an age gap relationship, and nothing more. It's all about circumstance, and looking underneath the underneath. |
| Burning Friend Banned  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 432 | Last year my reading teacher went to jail for sleeping with one of her old students. I think it's wrong, if an employer isn't allowed to date an employee, then this is definitely wrong, especially if the student is under 18 |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | ^But under what confines and circumstances is it wrong? Blanket statements lead to misunderstandings, and judgements based on what people think happened, not on what really did happen. |
| DeadlyPoisoned Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 39 Gender: Female Posts: 1633 | I think its one of the most sickest things out there No students should Have relationships with a teacher thats DISGUSTING!...I guess unless they were 18 but thats like having a relationship with your son or daughter if you think about it thats like just wrong..Come on maan..Maybe ifyour in College thats different.Because everybody is older..I went to this school and some teacher got arrested she was having sex with Fifteen year old boys and buying them cars her name was mrs.Freeman and she was married sick son of a bitch she deserved it.Thats gross teachers porkin their students.. |
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