Student/Teacher Relationships
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| Lovesick Melody. Bulletproof Heart  Age: 83 Gender: Female Posts: 25760 | For those who's argument is "Love is love..." What if the student is 12 years old? Does she know better? Does she know love? The teacher could just be taking advantage of trust, which as Tallulah says, is wrong ethically and morally. |
| Tallulah Admin  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 16777215 | Crystal Castles: If that is honestly all you think your teachers do then I feel sorry for you, you must go/have gone to to a particularly cold school. As for not trusting your teachers, I'm sure you will have done. When you enter a classroom there has to be a certain element of trust, you trust that teacher to educate you, to not make you feel uncomfortable, to protect you, to keep a professional relationship between you. As a teacher myself I can tell you that things are very very different these days, teachers do a hell of a lot more than simply marking work. Did you never have any teachers who were responsible for your pastoral care? Teachers are as I said before "Loco Parentis" which is basically "your parent in school", they are responsible for your welfare. This is referred to as "duty of care", meaning we have a duty to ensure you are cared for and safe when in school. BY abuse of trust I mean, that as a teacher you are put in a position of trust by your parents. The parents trust the teachers to care for their child while they are away from home in school, if a teacher enters into an inappropriate relationship with a student it is an abuse of trust. Does that help explain things? |
| Lovesick Melody. Bulletproof Heart Age: 83 Gender: Female Posts: 25760 | Tallulah; Schechter: Just wanted to add my opinion to your argument. When I walk into a classroom, I expect the person who I will be taught by to give me security under their care. I don't feel secure if I know that there is a possibility that they could be dating my friend. Teachers are meant to be trusted adults to whom students can seek advice from, feel safe with. School isn't mean to be a fearful place, it's meant to be a comforting environment to get an education. Sure, kids may get crushes on their teachers, but I expect the teacher not to respond to those signals. You must also think of parents. Do you want to place your kids in an adults trust, only to find out that they have made a romantic, or even sexual relationship with your child? I want to feel safe around my teacher, not anxious about their intentions. |
| Sid Salute You in Your Grave  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 2065 | Tallulah; Schechter: When you put it like that then yes it does. |
| Person0001 Always Born a Crime  Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099 | As Livvie explained, teacher-student relationships fall into the category of abuse of power. The reason that a minor is not allowed to sign anything binding on their own behalf, work more than a certain number of hours per week during the school year, or vote is because children under the age of 18 are still impressionable. I don't point this out to insult the very intelligent minors that I know - these are laws we have firmly place here - but simply to clarify the abuse of power standing. A powerful adult can be a mentor or s/he can be a shrewd dictator, and the natural fear of standing up against such a person is what could cause the child to bend to this adult's will. I personally believe that adults are rightfully expected to use their better judgment and seek out sexual partners who have reached full levels of maturity, and as a parent, I firmly hold to the rule of "at least a decade in between the age of my son and anyone I might date." To do otherwise is just unacceptable to me. There are an awful lot of adults in this world - surely we are all capable of seeking out relationships with one of them, rather than mucking about with the life of a child. A student should only have to worry about their schooling, not complicated adult relationships. |
| Harlequinn Salute You in Your Grave  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 2704 | If they're underage i have a problem with it, because lets face it, us young people arent as smart as we think we are and are easy targets. |
| spiderpig- Really Not Okay  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 725 | i have this classmate .. okay, she is my best female best friend right now ... and she likes a teacher . SERIOUSLY . not like, prolly love . she likes that computer teacher . she goes to the computer lab, always !, just to see him . and talk to him . she even gave him gifts on his borthday, christmas and new year . and i don't know what going on right now . she suddenly stopped telling me stories . pretty scared T^T |
| Darkromance Banned  Age: - Gender: - Posts: 322 | I don't know any situations where it has happened, but I would think it would be pretty creepy to date a teacher, and have that relationship, and have to see that teacher everyday (even if we were to break up or get into more adult situations) |
| demon dean Always Born a Crime  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5592 | personally, i don't find age to be that big of a deal. IMO, teacher and student relationships are not as big as people make them out to be. yes, the age difference, but they're both people with feelings for eachother, and why shouldn't they be allowed to express that to one another? there is no difference if you were 15 and wanted to date a 26 year old construction worker, than if you wanted to date a 26 year old education provider at your high school. ocupation and age are irrelevent. it's feeling that counts. and if your underage, its complete bull that you would have to wait until you are of leagal standing to possibly find love with an older man. love is love. and shouldn't have all these taboos about it. i have never had an expierience myself, but i do have this one teacher i have a major crush on and he always looks at me. and he looked at my but once. it didn't bother me, but it bothered my besstfriend who wsas the one who noticed. |
| Mindfuck Always Born a Crime  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614 | lackluster memories;:I disagree with the comment you made about occupation not mattering in a situation like this. Of course it matters ff a teacher and their student are dating - a teacher is at the school to teach, to provide care for the students while the students are in his or her classroom, and the relationship between teacher and student needs to have a certain amount of professionalism about it. Teachers are adults and students are - mostly - underaged teenagers, or children in the eyes of the law. It doesn't matter hows strong some attraction is, it isn't right for a teacher and student to be dating. It changes the academic and professional relationship completely, and usually 'relationships' that become sexual or romantic between student and teacher seldom work out because often they get caught, or the student might tell their friends etc. |
| Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099 | lackluster memories;: The teacher was out of line, and the reason that we have laws in place is to protect children from predators. While teacher/student relationships constitute abuse of power, the construction worker would be equally as liable as the teacher should he or she get caught with that 15 year old. If the adult loves that child so much, he or she will be happy to wait until they are both adults and on equal footing. Another thing to consider is that even if the relationship were to be more than sexual (it usually isn't) the adult is tying that child down early and robbing them of the opportunity to make a name for themselves in this world. The next thing that happens in that case is that the child becomes a parent before they're grown. The adult who chooses this for that child is being selfish. I am being really generous here too, because I am personally of the opinion that any adult who looks upon a child in a sexual manner is sick. |
| demon dean Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5592 | an adult abusing his/her power is not always the case. there are instances where teenagers are the ones who instagate the relationship and are then looked upon as the victim, when they're really not. in my personal opinion, if someone feels they want a relationship with someone that is older than themselves, i don't think it should be made into that big of a deal. even if it is a teacher. a teenager can be looked at as a child by others, but inside, they may not be. for some, it's easyer to connect with older people because they have been able to expierience life and know what/how to deal with the ailments of highschool. i'm not saying that every adult/adoldecent relationship is like this, but some of them are. it's not about the sex or the 'getting off' part of it, persay. it's more the connection you have with that person. |
| John St. John Shotgun Sinner  Age: 31 Gender: Male Posts: 7145 | ^^ But then i think that a teachers job goes way beyond simply teaching children. There basically your 2nd parents for the six hours a day we spend in school. They have a duty, having chosen teaching as there proffesion, to ensure that all students in there care are protected and safe, and I think by engaging in a sexual relationships it ciertantly crosses the line and as the teacher they should know better. |
| Darkromance Banned Age: - Gender: - Posts: 322 | Mindfuck: I think it does matter what the occupation is, becasue if the person who youre dating works in your school, a complicated situation can can arise. The fact that it's school (HIGH SCHOOL or JUNIOR HIGH) , makes it bad place to have that kinda thing. Plus, the older person may want a sexual relationship, while the younger one just wants to talk. |
| demon dean Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5592 | Alan Carr: but education doesn't stop for the other children, just because there is one out of the bunch the teacher may have feelings for. and just because he has feelings for them, does not mean they have an advantage to bettergrades, etc. they are people with feelings aswell, and if those feelings happen to arise for a 15 year old student they happen to be teaching, why should they just throw them away if the student feels the same way? i'm not saying that a teacher forcing themselves on students is right, because it's deffinately NOT. i'm saying that a romantic relationship between a student and a teacher can be maintained&cared for the same way any other relationship can be. if it is a consensual relationship, it should be allowed to continue, and run it's course, as long as it lasts. that's the way i view it. |
| Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099 | lackluster memories;:It is always the case. The adult is supposed to know better. The child is the victim in every case, because the child is not yet capable of making adult decisions. It doesn't matter what they think they feel - what matters is that the adult failed to use proper discretion. |
| demon dean Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5592 | Deb: but, there are cases where the student pressures the teacher into the relationship, using blackmail, etc. and the student is then portrayed as the victim, and they're not. they are the purportrator, and should be put behind bars INSTEAD of the teacher. there are plenty of teenagers who are capable of thinking through situations and making the smartest desicion possible. there are some teens out there who have the mental capacity of a 27 year old, and some who have the mental capacity of a 9 year old. it depends on a persons expierience and how they think throughout different situations they're put through. |
| John St. John Shotgun Sinner Age: 31 Gender: Male Posts: 7145 | lackluster memories;: It doesnt matter who instigated the relationship. The teacher has a duty. If they don't say no then there in the wrong, and there to blame. |
| Tallulah Admin Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 16777215 | ^^ Agreed. The teacher should never enter into a realtionship with a student under their care. It is against the law. It's nothing to do with age difference, I have taught students who were only 3 years younger than me in the past, but the fact is, they were still under my duty of care and therefore it is off limits. As Lovesick Melody said on the top of the page, how would you feel if the student was 12? What if the student was 12 and the teacher was nearing retirement, say 60. Would it still be fine then, because, hey. love is love right? The fact is, a teacher should never enter into a relationship with a student in their class. They are automatically abusing their power and the trust placed in them. Edited to add: It's nothing to do with age, seriously. My Boyf is 16 years older than me, so clearly age is not an issue for me. |
| demon dean Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5592 | i'm just speaking for those rare cases that are. even i, who's arguing the point that they're okay, can agree that most of them can be ethically wrong. but there are those few that can be classified as mature relationships between 2 human beings. |
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