Author | Message |
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MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | November 8th, 2009 at 01:30am
I Want My Miracle
Two eyes peer through
A smudging glass
Another two come
Dancing last
Now those mirrored eyes,
Well, they’re fiery red
And keep on peering
Into my head
It’s dark outside
And flustering wet,
I’m cold inside—
You wanna bet?
Oh that radio is stuck
On just one station, ya know,
Playing over and over
“You cannot go…”
And just like that
I hit reality, so much red,
“I lived for miracles”
And wound up dead…
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**It's a lyrical poem, so imagine it with a slow mournful tone.
Hopefully no one's confused-- it's open to interpretation.
Enjoy. ^_^ |
Your Ghost. Thinking Happy Thoughts
Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 440 | November 11th, 2009 at 11:59am I seriously am speechless. I don't even know how you do it, but all of your poems are beautiful in strange ways and wonderfully amazing.
Talk about inspiring! Wonderfulwonderfulamazingwork. |
MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | November 11th, 2009 at 11:56pm Ah, thank you! xD
I'm glad you liked it. |
Pansy Wayero Jazz Hands
Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 372 | November 30th, 2009 at 02:14pm wow its amazing |
misa misa. Shotgun Sinner
Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 8241 | November 30th, 2009 at 10:53pm hey,
i haven't been online to read your stuff in quite a while. It's nice to see you haven't lost your touch.
My favourite part of this peom was the ending
“I lived for miracles”
And wound up dead…
To me this seemed to suggest that you can't just live hoping for something else to svae you but that you have to save yourself. I am not quite sure if that is what you were going for but i really liked it. I was also getting a bit of a vamyric theme, with all the comments of eyes of red.
Just a small comment. I think in the last stanza it should be a semi-column not a comma
I hit reality ; so much red
I'm not postive but that creates more of a pause, and also makes the second half seem more like a consequence of the first.
Apart from that, good work.
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Frank Anthony Iero. Bulletproof Heart
Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 28347 | December 6th, 2009 at 06:25pm wow, where have I been. o.o
I simply love what I'ved missed, m'dear. :]
I'm going to try and come in this section more often. =/
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MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | December 10th, 2009 at 12:47am Thanks guys, it means a lot that you like it. ^_^
Many thanks for the constructive comment, Nadiya.
I was actually driving in my car during a rainy night-- the red eyes are tail-lights.
But you were dead on with what the last two lines meant. |
MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | December 10th, 2009 at 12:48am The Chorus and Crash
Imagine waking up,
You forgot what to say
In the utter silence
You suffer anyway
You think you are okay
You think you are fine—
If it were that easy
I’d know what was mine
But I don’t, not really
I sit in the dark, seething,
“I’m getting too old for this shit,”
It’s worse than breathing!
So why is it, we sigh in dark?
Eyes watering, alone in the rain
Chewing our fingers, in agony,
While it murders the brain
Indeed, maybe, I’m an emotional teen
But it changes no fact, no word—
You still sit wondering
Why nobody heard.
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**One of those "take it as you read it" poems. lol. Enjoy. xD |
catlady Joining The Black Parade
Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 220 | December 11th, 2009 at 08:43pm Oh how I've missed your insight. My favorites are Premonition and I Want My Miracle because, as always, it is how I feel. You have an awesome way of taking your feelings and conveying them directly to the reader, a skill that usually takes a lifetime for even the best writers to develop.
Don't ever stop writing, promise me, because it will be a great loss to the world if you do.
Simply great. |
MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | December 13th, 2009 at 09:09pm Ah, thank you, catlady.
It means a lot that you said that. ^_^
Thanks for taking the time to read my poetry. |
misa misa. Shotgun Sinner
Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 8241 | December 16th, 2009 at 04:46am wow i like the new poem.
the second last stanza is my favourite, especially the first two lines:
So why is it, we sigh in dark?
Eyes watering, alone in the rain
excellent imagery there. I really like your tone in this piece too.
Great work. ^.^
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Your Ghost. Thinking Happy Thoughts
Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 440 | December 19th, 2009 at 07:01pm you amaze me. you are simply godly, if that even makes sense. I would kill to be able to write like you.
Anyway, another wonderful poem. I always look forward to seeing that you've posted something new. pleasepleaseplease keep posting, forever. |
MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | December 20th, 2009 at 10:17pm Thanks guys, it means a lot that you two liked it. ^_^
More to come soon. xD |
Pansy Wayero Jazz Hands
Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 372 | January 4th, 2010 at 08:57am wow wow wow its amazin i like the last verse:
Indeed, maybe, I’m an emotional teen
But it changes no fact, no word—
You still sit wondering
Why nobody heard.
it just speaks to me. excellent work as usual
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riot reality Jazz Hands
Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 295 | January 5th, 2010 at 06:10am Hey, I'm not sure if I've ever commented on your thread before and I've been dead here lately, but just wanted to say that I was looking through some of the pages and enjoyed everything I read :3
I can't remember the name of the poem, but there was one that ended with "The sun always snows", and I can't get it out of my head. It rocked.
And the one at the top of this page, I want My Miracle, was really good, too. |
MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | January 18th, 2010 at 12:27am Ah, well, thank you for taking the time to read some of my work.
It's always good to hear what people think of 'em. xD |
MyChemicalBlack Salute You in Your Grave
Age: - Gender: - Posts: 2351 | January 18th, 2010 at 12:27am When Darkness Dreams
When the lights go out
Feel free to cry,
Give your darkest shout
And live, or die
Because no one can see you,
A face with no name,
Look up, lights out
We live with the shame
To be consumed by ink
And burned by sadness,
Don’t look at the Dream,
Who thinks it’s all madness
We eat our tongue, our eyes
Unwilling to bow to such lies,
And stubborn, so stubborn—
Just silence the cries
Here’s to the cowards,
The “lost-ones” too,
Who tried and failed
To look up at you
We bow our heads, heroes,
Because there is no safety-net,
Look down, lights on,
We look to forget. |
misa misa. Shotgun Sinner
Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 8241 | January 18th, 2010 at 04:55am wow i really loved the new piece.
It felt very powerful. Great title too.
Amazing work on this. |
Your Ghost. Thinking Happy Thoughts
Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 440 | January 22nd, 2010 at 09:42pm Holy kickass poem! I absolutely love the last stanza, and well, the whole poem as a matter of fact! Amazing work, as usual from you. I can't wait for more.<3 |
merciless sanity Killjoy
Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 3 | January 25th, 2010 at 06:07am But it changes no fact, no word—
You still sit wondering
Why nobody heard.
i really loved these lines they really spoke to me. you are an amazing writer and crazy inspirational my dear you rock!! |