StonyPony
Jazz Hands
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 385 | November 3rd, 2006 at 07:13pm
Come on, people! More sickness...Please? |
medea.
In The Murder Scene
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 20882 | November 3rd, 2006 at 10:04pm Why was the baby turning around in circles?
Its hands were stapled to the floor.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
What's the difference between a ferarri and a sack of dead babies?
I don't have a ferrari in my garage. |
TRQ
Always Born a Crime
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5401 | November 3rd, 2006 at 10:13pm
dead baby jokes = love
|
Public Pervert
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 66857 | November 3rd, 2006 at 10:16pm I honestly see no humor in dead baby jokes!   |
Roonil Wazlib
Motor Baby
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 773 | November 4th, 2006 at 11:29pm xThexRattlexSnakex:I honestly see no humor in dead baby jokes!
Ditto.... |
medea.
In The Murder Scene
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 20882 | November 5th, 2006 at 03:17pm Then you guys shouldn't be in here.
=)
There was a fight between Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a blonde neurologist, and an old man. Who won it?
The old man, because there is no such thing as Santa Claus, teh Easter Bunny, and a blonde neurologist. |
bound and gagged
Bulletproof Heart
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 28660 | November 5th, 2006 at 03:38pm Children in the dark cause accidents
Accidents in the dark cause children |
Hell Yeah Georgie
Really Not Okay
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 727 | November 5th, 2006 at 04:23pm Blonde joke:
A blonde went into the hairdressers with her headphones on. Whilst having her hair cut she was asked to take them off by the hairdresser.= but she replied,
"i can't take them off, I'll die" So he continued to cut her hair as best he could until he asked again. Again she replied
"I can't take them off I'll die" So he tried to do a bit more. Then he asked one last time. And again she said,
"I can't take them off I'll die."
So the hairdresser was so annoyed with her that he pulled them off and after a few minutes the girl fell to the ground and went blue. The hairdresser put on the headphones to see what was so important to her and he heard
"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out." |
kinney.
Bulletproof Heart
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 29482 | November 5th, 2006 at 04:34pm a blonde and a paper bag are standing at the edge of a cliff . who'll hit the water first??
the paper bag. the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
a blonde and a paper bag are standing at the edge of a cliff . who'll hit the water first??
the blonde. the paper bag wasn't stupid enough to jump |
hmmm
Motor Baby
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 790 | November 5th, 2006 at 04:39pm ehehehe loving the dead baby jokes...... |
kinney.
Bulletproof Heart
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 29482 | November 5th, 2006 at 04:48pm i dont particularly like dead baby jokes but ..................
what do you calla dead baby on your doorstep?
Matt
what do you call a dead baby in a swimming pool?
Bob
|
thank fsm.
In The Murder Scene
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 20564 | November 5th, 2006 at 07:13pm Yara, the ones about the South are all extremely true. It's one of those things you laugh at until you live here. Then you just shake your head and wish you were somewhere else.
=] |
Naughtville
Bleeding on the Floor
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1343 | November 5th, 2006 at 08:37pm Exactly ^
Then people tell you that nowhere else is any better.
But it's better to moi, I'll tell ya that. |
StonyPony
Jazz Hands
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 385 | November 5th, 2006 at 08:44pm Actually, no place is better.
The South pwns the other regions...but if you hate it...
I-40 runs two directions.
I-75 runs the other two. Pick one.
And thanks for the inspiration...
Southern Hospitality Warning:
Rules for Southern Living.
Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner.
They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.
Don't laugh at our Southern names. (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther, Bruce, Matt, Rick, Tammy Ann, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, etc.).
These people have all been known to kick ass.
Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke.
Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever -- it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.
We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer.
Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies or we'll kick your ass.
We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do sometimes have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Bush, Edwards, Duke, Barnes).
We don't care if you think we are dumb. We can still kick your ass.
Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments.
If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.
We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up, spend your money, and get the hell out of here -- or we'll kick your ass.
Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel.
Everyone will instantly know that you're from Ohio. Eat your biscuits like God intended. Don't put sugar on your grits or we'll kick your ass.
Don't fake a Southern accent.
This will incite a riot and you will get your ass kicked.
Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we don't give a damn.
Many of us have visited Northern hell holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Take your ass home before it gets kicked.
Yes, we know how to speak proper English.
We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away or we'll kick your ass.
Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted.
None of OUR lakes have caught fire. Whine about OUR scenic beauty, and we'll kick your ass all the way back into Boston Harbor.
Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say "sir" and "ma'am," hold doors open for others, and offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people.
Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.
So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside?
That's because we have enough sense to not live in smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our fresh air and we'll kick your ass.
Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here trying to tell us how to cook Barbecue.
This will get your ass shot off (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Question our sacred BBQ, and you go home in a pine box -- minus your ass.
Other than the above, have a nice day! |
StonyPony
Jazz Hands
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 385 | November 5th, 2006 at 08:46pm *For the record*
I thought the ones about the South were hilarious, too. |
StonyPony
Jazz Hands
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 385 | November 5th, 2006 at 08:46pm *For the record*
I thought the ones about the South were hilarious, too. |
Project Mayhem
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2551 | November 5th, 2006 at 08:49pm |
black dahlia
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3216 | November 5th, 2006 at 08:49pm  ^ |
TRQ
Always Born a Crime
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5401 | November 5th, 2006 at 11:37pm StonyPony:
Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda
down here. Down here it's called Coke.
that is so true, everytime i tell people
here that, the look at me like "wtf?"
|
medea.
In The Murder Scene
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 20882 | November 6th, 2006 at 09:30am Once there were two women standing at the gates to get into heaven, a blonde and a brunette. The blonde asked the brunette how she got there.
"Well, I had a feeling that my husband was having an affair," the brunette started. "So, I came home early one day. I ran to the bedroom, only to see my husband was there alone. He told me no one was with him, but I didn't believe him. I rushed all over the house, but no one was there. Finally, I had a heart attack from all the worrying. But what about you?"
The blonde sadly shook her head and replied "If only you looked in the freezer." |
