Teen Pregnancy

i think teen pregnancy is bad. it's can ruin your life. and sometimes the father wouldn't want to take responsability so he just leaves the mother and the kid. if i were to get pregnant i wouldn't get an abortion,i would but the child up for adoption were i know that it will have a better family who would take care of it and treat her / him as one of their own

IBoughtGeeOnEbay:

i think teen pregnancy is bad. it's can ruin your life. and sometimes the father wouldn't want to take responsability so he just leaves the mother and the kid. if i were to get pregnant i wouldn't get an abortion,i would but the child up for adoption were i know that it will have a better family who would take care of it and treat her / him as one of their own

seriously!!its just not the best thing to have in your life!!!especially if your very young!!!its just not right!!i agree with you!!

If a teenaged girl becomes pregnant, it's going to be very hard to raise the child. She'll have to go to school and if she doesn't have enough money to take care of her and the baby, she will have to drop out of school and find herself a decent job and that's not easy since many good jobs require a full education. Yes, you may be mature enough to raise a child but what about the other responsibilities. What if the father wants no part of it?
Sometimes the mother of the teenager leaves it all up to her daughter to take care of the child to learn something. Some parents kick out their daughters once they find out they're pregnant. It's hard raising a kid but it's also hard to give it up for adoption and/or abortion. It's a very sad thing especially when you're only in the situation. That's why teenaged girls should always wait. Waiting is good because the future is more important than a moment in the present.

Sure teen pregnancy can be a really bad thing. There are a million reasons why you shouldn't get pregnant so young. But bringing life into the world has got to be an amazing feeling. Not that I know from experience or anything but apparantly when you have a child you feel instantly connected and feel the need to protect them and take care of them. And any teenage mother that can take good care of their child is a pretty damn amazing person.

I feel it necessary to put my point of view across, being 13 weeks pregnant and 20 years old. Technically I'm no longer a teenager, but I still feel close enough to the issue at hand to buy into the discussion.

I've read all 11 pages of this topic and agree with some points, disagree wth others, and would like the opportunity to put across a few factors that perhaps nobody has taken into account.

The real issue here is not so much 'teen pregancy: good or bad?', but education. Not only being taught that sex = babies, but being aware of ALL your options if such a situation does arise.
To start with, I found that sex education in schools was severely lacking. Not that it's solely the school's responsibility to educate, parents and families should be educating their offspring in such matters according to their own morals, beliefs and experience, but what-the-hey. In school, we were taught that sex was an individual choice (which of course it is), and simply told that your options were using the Pill or condoms. Penis goes in, sperm comes out, and if you're unlucky enough, you get babies a few months later. Or, if you were really unlucky, and didn't use protection, you'd end up dying of AIDS.
In my opinion, the buck doesn't stop there at all. It's not just about 'use a condom' and 'there's always abortion/adoption'. It's more about teaching this generation that if your boyfriend dumps you because you won't 'put out', then you're better off without him, that having sex because 'everyone else is doing it' is far less important than your studies, and that getting pregnant is not just a matter of 'well, if I can't afford it there's always someone who'll adopt it'.
Life skills, is what I mean. The maturity to know that babies require secure housing, a stable family relationship, lots and lots and lots of money, attention, and care. The ability to be informed about getting your education and earning money and paying off a car loan before you consider starting a family. That babies aren't all cute clothes and giggles and unconditional love.

I noticed a couple of comments earlier about the infamous Baby Bonus. For those that aren't Australian or otherwise aware of the facts, the baby bonus is a government incentive designed to help ease the financial strain on new parents - especially thse who are first-time mums and dads and suddenly find that their previously care-free, financially secure existence is brought practically to a stand-still by the arrival of a very needy, epensive mouth to feed, clothe and provide for.
The bonus started off a few years ago as a $1000 lump sum to help out with the initial expenditure needed to buy diapers, cots, prams, car seats, pay medical bills, tins of formula, bottles and sterilisers, etc etc. At this point in time, it stands at $4000 (as the cost of living, inflation and tax rises and rises and rises). Contrary to popular belief, the statistics in fact show that teen pregnancy has fallen since the BB's introduction, and therefore is obviously NOT encouraging young women/girls to go out and get kocked up just for the cash. Recently, the government handed down legislation that now means the baby bonus is not paid in a lump sum to mothers under the age of 18 anymore, rather in fortnightly instalments over a period of six months. Unfortunately, (and this is something most people don't take into account at all) being an 'older' mother does not necessarily mean that the BB is spent wisely, or even in the baby's direction. I personally know of a 28-year-old mother and her 29-year-old partner who are the parents of a nine-month old baby girl, who very irresponsibly spent their entire $4000 bonus on Nike trainers, PlayStation Portables, new computers, video games, and, disgustingly, marijuana. The only responsible thing they did with the money was use some for bond on a new apartment so they weren't raising their baby in a caravan park.
It's sad, but it's true. Their bonus lasted them a little over two months, and only $250 was put aside in a bank account for their daughter.
My partner and I have discussed where the money will be spent, and we are in complete agreement that whatever is left over after purchasing necessary equipment for our unborn child (we know there will be plenty, seeing as we've already been given a car seat, pram and other various items from parents and friends), will be put into a bank account in the child's name with a decent enough interest rate to have gathered some more money so that by the time they start school or whatever, there will be no problems with getting them ready for that milestone. Or, if we choose to leave it there until they graduate high school, there's some money towards their tertiary education or towards them moving out and getting their own home, whatever they decide. And, in the case of an emergency, there will be money to spend on hospital bills or similar things (touch wood, I pray the situation never arises).
Face the truth - age does not always equal maturity/wisdom/foresight/sensibility. Sure, I'm in complete agreeance that a 16-year-old should not be having children, but don't try and tell me that high-schoolers are getting pregnant on purpose just to get money. If anything, the pressure would be coming from their boyfriend, who's probably a dropkick loser who wants extra drinking money or to buy a new plasma-screen TV so he can brag to all his buddies about how good his video games are now.

In other news, statements were made earlier about young women being married off/having babies at very young ages hundreds of years ago. Yes, I agree that 'hundreds' of years ago is not a good analogy due to the lifespan/culture in those days, but talk to your grandparents. Even in the 50's and 60's, and 70's for that matter, women were marrying their partners at the age of 16 - 20 and usually had children right away. My grandmother gave birth to my father exactly one year after she was married, and she was only 19.
It is also very true that this is 2007, and that women have every opportunity to get the best education possible and go on to lead high-powered, very influential and inspiring careers in great fields such as lawyers, surgeons, stockbrokers, fashion designers, etc. However, what career could possibly be more important to a woman than to raise a family and watch them grow up and go out into the world as happy, healthy, well-adjusted and ambitious adults?
I'm sure that's what my parents wanted for me, but I have known since I was very young that I would be much more fulfilled raising children and making a nice home for my husband than chasing a 9-to-5 career that was very stressful, required years of struggling to pay college fees and fighting to be better than everybody else in my field so that I would be favoured for promotion. That's not to say that having children isn't stressful, or hard work, or long hours, but I just know in my heart that putting off having a family in favour of earning big dollars would be nowhere near as fulfilling as starting a family while I'm young, patient, energetic, enthusiastic, and ready.
More than anything, the thought of starting a family in my late 30's or 40's terrifies me, because when I see older parents, I see people who are tired, worn-out, frustrated, impatient and not willing to cope with an energetic toddler who demands their attention every minute of the day. I see children who are provided for materially, but not emotionally ('Honey, go play outside, mummy's got a report to write'). Worse than that, I see children who are born defective, unhealthy, malformed or whatever, because as you get older, your genes mutate, and the risk of Down's Syndrome and many other disabling factors rises dramatically. It petrifies me that my kids could be born disabled because I was too busy being self-absorbed and worried about my own progress for all those years.

While I'm not supportive of teen pregnancy, I do know that mistakes can happen, or that people are capable of making their own choices in life, and that such situations will occur, now and in the future. I may only be young, in fact my baby is due just a month after my 21st birthday, but I feel more prepared and excited than I have ever felt about any event. My partner and I are devoted solely to one another and our impending family, and I'm extremely proud to say that he sometimes cares more about our growing baby than I do at times ('Babe, are you sure you should be drinking that? The doctor said caffeine's bad for baby...' etc). We know what we want from life, which is a loving family with all the opportunities and privileges that we can possibly provide, and I get sick of people patting me on the shoulder and going, 'Oh, well you know there's always abortion,' when I inform them I'm pregnant. Just because we're young does not mean we didn't plan this child, in fact we tried for months before I got the good news and we were ecstatic.
I'm not at all concerned about it impacting on my young, carefree life, as I quit taking drugs and haven't touched alcohol since we began trying for this child, and neither my partner nor I have any interest in nightclubbing, partying or anything social, really. Our friends come over for coffee or we go to barbecues or picnics, and the truth is we're lucky that most of our friends are either parents or about to become parents, and those that don't fit those circumstances are more than understanding about our situation and don't let it impinge on our friendship. I don't care if I never go to a drunken party again, it's not on my list of favourite things to do anyway so it's no big loss.

...Now that I've written a novel on the yeses-and-nos, I'd love to hear any feedback from you guys out there. I just thought I'd put my two cents (or fifty dollars, as the volume would suggest) in for anybody interested, and I hope this post has cleared up any misconceptions people may have had.
Again, it's all down to personal opinion, and I personally don't agree with very young girls getting pregnant (11? 12? Even 15, are you crazy? Tell that boy not to touch you, or at least be aware that there's a morning-after pill if the condom breaks, you have your whole life ahead of you!) but in the end it's all a personal choice and I just pray that anybody wanting to be adult enough to make the decision is adult enough to deal with the consequences (ie raise your child in a stable, loving environment, preferably without leeching off the system, although sometimes it can't be avoided).

Wow lol. You are cool.

Yeah I'm Australian and I join in on the baby bonus talk. People say that girls out there are actually having children for it, I know that some are and they are stupid. But now teenage mums are stereotyped as having children for that money, when that's not true in all cases. Many people, like yourself want children and they are going to use that money for good use.

But I do not agree with the baby bonus being paid in installments if you are under 18. I can see the sense in it, but what about those who need it in a lump sum and like you said not all people over 18 spend it wisely. Once again it comes down to the stereotype of being a teenage parent.

I think teenage pregnancy is very complex, and there are many reasons why teens have babies. They have a lot of pressure placed on them, and this is where society needs some understanding. For eg. a 15yo girl gets pregnant she thinks about her options. She could get an abortion or have the baby and raise it, what ever her decision is she will get crap for it. Society can't have it both ways, and it's not their life anyway.

There are sooo many reasons why teens get pregnant, it happens and it always will and I think society, or whoever needs to accept that so we can help them and move on. People always winge about teenage mums being a burden on society, but how are we helping them so they can break free of that?

Not every single public school has a program in place to help a teenage mother, and I think that the Government has a responsibility to do that. You might have heard of Plumpton High in Sydney. Well it has a program for teenage mums which helps them get through school etc, and it is great that the girls have that opportunity. It is not the Governments fault that the girls get pregnant, but it is their responsibility to assist girls in need.

I watched this story on Today Tonight a few years ago about a 12 year old who had a baby. At 14 she came back with another baby, and then at 16 she had another one. I don't know if she has had anymore since then but, three kids by the age of 16, what the? I am pretty sure she lef school at age 12. Her mother didn't seem to concerned at all, she said she is happy for her. But she was 12, what were you doing at 12? It is young, extremely young and when I look at the 12 year olds at my school I find it hard to imagine them bringing a life into this world.

I don't look down on teenage mothers because there is no point, however we are all entitled to our opinions about it. I mean some of them make great mothers and others don't, but that applies to all mothers of any age.

Very true. In essence, the issue here isn't whether or not teens should be having children, but whether they are making sensible decisions in their lives and the fact is simply that being of a certain age is absolutely no indicator of a person's childrearing abilities or responsibility as a mother.

I have to admit that I agree with the baby bonus being paid in instalments rather than a lump sum, I mean I know that if somebody had handed me a check for $4000 when I was 16, I would have completely spazzed out and definitely made irresponsible decision with it. However, I didn't have a child then so I can't really say. And of course, as we've pointed out, there's absolutely nothing to say that a 30-year-old mother wouldn't blow the cash on buying a new car or something rather than putting it in baby's direction. The fact is, four thousand bucks is an insane amount of money when you're a teen, so it's a good idea to eke it out so it's not all spent at once while you're feeling flush. Most teens would have a good support network and have been given essentials such as prams, cots etc before the birth so the $4000 just sits there tempting them to spend it elsewhere.

When it comes down to it, it's all about education. Where do you want to go with your life? Do you want to travel the world, spend time having a career? Do you really want to be tied to this certain boy you're with now forever (and I know that most lovestruck 15-yos would be like, 'Yes! We're in loooove!' but it's a serious question)? Does anybdy teach teens that a baby screams at all hours of the night, needs to be fed every few hours, goes through an average of eight diapers a day, and when they start crawling/walking you have to have both eyes on them every. single. minute. of the day?
One of my best friends fell pregnant at 17. Today she has a beautiful 2-year-old daughter who is the light of everybody's lives, but my friend is irresponsible in that she leaves her child with her mother every single weekend so she can go to the local nightclub and get drunk. She feels that as long as her child's not exposed to her while inebriated, it's okay, but I don't think she understands that children are not a 9-to-5 job. She is no longer with the baby's father (which is his fault, he was too busy going out with his friends and cheating on her etc, she threw him out and told him never to have anything to do with her or the child again), and left school before she even got to her senior year because she figured 'Oh, I can always get a job waitressing or something'.
Another of my friends fell pregnant at 17, and she graduated high school with a belly like a watermelon. She stuck it out, had a beautiful baby boy who just started Prep a few days ago (the new Aus equivalent of preschool or the year before first grade) and he's one of the most happy, healthy, intelligent and energetic kids I've ever met. His parents have been together for six years (he just turned five) and they're planning their wedding for later this year. Now that he's started school, his mum is trying to enter the workforce so she can provide better for him. (Of course, his dad works full-time and has ever since high school.)

My opinion is that having kids at a really young age is just silly. A 14-yo has zero life experience with the exception of the playground, and needs to have a little of a life before making such big decisions. A 17, 18-yo is a slightly different story, depending on the individual of course. I can't imagine my 17-yo brother having children for at least another 10 years yet, he's far too immature to cope with such responsibility.

...and I know this is slightly off-topic (the issue being teen pregnancy), but I have another gripe I want to air.
Here's the thing: if you had to slap a label on me, it would definitely be in the region of 'goth'. I currently have 14 piercings (including 5 facial), several tattoos, and I have a passion for black clothes, knee-high boots, lace, corsets and big fat eyeliner.
(Btw, I'm not wearing my corsets atm because my belly's expanding and it looks really odd, not to mention uncomfortable.)
You may or may not be surprised, but it's shocked me how many times I've heard the 'Well, now you'll have to take all those piercings out/cover up those tattoos or get laser surgery/dress like a regular human being now that you're pregnant!'
Excuse me? Since when does having an eyebrow ring impact on my ability to raise a happy, healthy child? Does having an MCR tattoo on my wrists mean I'm a suicidal drug addict that is likely to molest or neglect my child?
I'm sorry, but I highly, highly doubt that my child will run screaming from the room when I go to pick him/her up from kindergarten because I wear all-black.
Children are only apprehensive about what they're not familiar with, and all my friends' kids adore me because they know that wearing a black shirt doesn't make me mean, or scary, or mean that I can't play hide n seek with them.
By no means am I going to be painting my 4-yo's face with black lipstick or encouraging my 8-year-old to go get their tongue pierced.
People need to stop being such self-righteous asses and get over themselves. Live and let live, or something, right?

There was a magazine article here in the UK and a pregnant teenager (I can't remember her exact age i think it was 14-16) said she got pregnant on purpose becasue it gave her a better chance at having a good life. She believed that once the baby arrives she would be given a council house and would be put on benefits and in her own words would be "better off than her friends who got themselves jobs" I think there's somethign really wrong if young girls think that having a child will be easier than staying in education and then getting a job. I'm not saying this is the case with all teen mums, I'm just mentioning it because it was quite shocking

i know a girl that she is going to have a baby and i think he is only 12 or 13 years it is at the school of cousin

I think it depends on how far into 'teenhood' you are. I mean, I think a 13 year old parent is wrong, but about 17+ is okay. As long as they can take care of the child, that is.

I don't know. I don't exactly think anyone who is a teenager could really be capable of properly caring for a child, but I give credit to those who try and stay in school whilst doing it.

i dont agree with it at all. they shouldnt be having sex anyway. they're freankin retarded for getting pregnet anyway. stupid. then "most" of them screwed up their life (well it wouldnt be as good as it could've been if they waited) b/c they didnt get the right education or something. i kno a lot of teenagers that have kids and everybody looks down on them. i kinda feel bad for them but then again i dont b/c it was their own fault in the first place. and the one's that i kno dont do good n skool b/c they have to get jobs n everything else to support their child. well.. i just dont agree with it at all.

Hmm... I dunno.

I'm in full agreenace that 'kids' should not be having sex full stop, but it's a sad reality in this day and age that it's going to happen to a lot of them.
I still don't agree with kids having kids, but I have seen it be a positive influence in certain people's lives. The girl who used to party every weekend, sneak out of the house, sleep around with all the boys in her maths (and science) class, finds herself pregnant and suddenly buckles down, studies hard, quits partying and living unhealthily, and dedicates every ounce of energy towards her child and towards being a responsible mother. It can bring previously broken/unstable families together. (I have never personally known anybody to get thrown out of home or similar for falling pregnant - families tend to rally around and be tolerant, if not outwardly supportive.)
It may not be an ideal situation, but I tend to believe in 'fate' and that everything, no matter how bad it seems, happens for a reason.

However, my advice is, and always will be, to stay in school, finish your degree and find the true love of your life who will stick by you forever, no matter what. Then feel free to have eight babies if that's what you want. Just don't do it too early, and don't leave it too late.

i am 26 now and i got pregnant at 15. i was going out with a 21 yr old man who took me out to pubs and clubs. i was horrible to my family and friends. acting like a woman, and realised after i was a stupid little girl. i had an abortion. it is something which i think was absolutley the right thing to do 100% but its something which i will regret for the rest of my life. its easy to say teenagers shudn't be having sex anyway but life aint that simple. you want him to like you. i lost my virginity to him. and i loved him so much it hurt to be away from him. he just saw me as a f**k. somewhere to shove his d**k. he cheated on me and when i told him i was pregnant he slapped me and threw me out. now i realise he was scum but you dont at the time. i wish i never went down that road all those years ago. i wish i cud go back in time and warn the 15yr old me but i suppose i wouldn't be the person i am today without that horrible part of my life. and i like who i am today. s**t happens. alot. and its not about how you fall down. its about how you get up and stay up. and i most definatley got up and stayed up. but i do think about my baby everyday. and i morn everyday. which i think i shud do because i owe it to him/her.

this is a very hard topic but i think that i agree with Cigarettes And Suicide.

in my opinion the best change of a sucsessful life is a carrear and that won't happen if you have a child young.

think about the child if you decide to have it young, yes you may be able to provide for it, but not as much as if you have had a carrear and a solid financial situation for it. its life would be so much better in the long run.

what i mean to say is that if you have a child young you are not nessicarily prepared to give that child the BEST care that you can.

ignore, sorry.

abeautifuldisaster:

what i mean to say is that if you have a child young you are not nessicarily prepared to give that child the BEST care that you can.

I'm going to have to disagree with this point, I'm sorry. This is just my opinion, and I can understand where people would feel differently about it, but I don't believe that having endless amounts of money to lavish on a child is the best way to raise them.
In fact, I feel that children raised in middle-to-lower-class environments have a much better understanding of the value of other things in life, like a strong family, good friends, ambition, goals, and working to earn what you want rather than just having it handed to you by mommy and daddy.
I was raised in a middle-class family with parents who both worked (dad full-time and mum part-time), and although we lived in a nice house in a nice neighbourhood, my parents have only ever owned one car at a time, and second-hand cars at that.
My brother and I never wanted for food, shelter or clothing, but we learned very early on that if we wanted privileges like toys or 'designer' clothes or shoes, we had to earn them, and even then we had to work our asses off for them because our parents just weren't in the position to be buying us video games, expensive sneakers or useless things that we thought we needed to be accepted. We got one or two pairs of shoes a year, and we'd wear them until we grew out of them or they were falling apart. We wore the clothes we had until until we grew out of them or damaged them. We never had a Playstation or computer until I was 14 (in 2000), and our holidays consisted of going out of town to visit our grandparents and staying with them, rather than travelling interstate to stay at some hotel or resort. In that respect, when our parents did manage to scrimp and save enough to blow on a big expensive present for Christmas or a weekend at Dreamworld, we appreciated so much more because it was a rarity, a big treat, and something special for us to value that much more because we knew the sacrifices that had been made in order to give it to us.
And we were happy. We learned the value of a dollar, we learned that we had to work hard to get nice things, and we were content in the knowledge that 'providing' for us meant simply sending us to school to get an education, giving us hugs and telling us they loved us, and making sure we always had full bellies.
My partner, on the other hand, was raised in a very poor family, and I admit that he knows a lot more than I do about working hard to get what you want. He's gone through some very hard times, and he's not only survived, but come back bigger and better because he did it all himself, rather than relying on somebody else to pay his bills and make sure he was okay. Having no money as a child taught him to find ways of amusing himself (like playing outside with his friends rather than locking himself in a room with an Xbox), taught him to save what money he has, and taught him to judge people on their work ethics and the person they are rather than the label on their jeans or how much cash they can throw around.

By no means am I saying that it's easy to raise a kid with no money, but the whole 'You're selfish if you decide to have a kid if you don't have a crapload of money' makes me sad. Most of the 'rich' kids I went to school with weren't happy at all, as they were provided for materially in every way, but not emotionally. Love is much more important than money, and as long as you can feed, clothe and shelter your kids, then you're on the right track. Teaching them the value of a dollar and that nothing comes for free is far more important and lasting than 'Oh, my mom bought me a car for my birthday' in my book.

I do think its an uneccessary situation to get into, but many people do.
I'm not saying its right, but I'm not saying its wrong either.
I understand that there's alot of people who can't look after children when they are young, because they don't have enough money and stability.
However, I know plenty of people that have had children young, and their children have grown up just like any other child born when their parents were older. It just depends on the situation.

i think its the parents fault for not educating there children or wacthing who there with