Your Songs/Lyrics

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Author	Message
mer von d Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 582	June 17th, 2008 at 07:22pm no probs lol
kaitlyn. Demolition Lover Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 16893	June 17th, 2008 at 07:32pm lol anyways this is a song about selfharm and i just wrote it right now, but i personally think its better than my first one: Put the razor down Leave it all behind Cause there ain't it can do now Put the bottle down cause it won't ever solve your problems chorus Your so much better than that * X3* Oh i'm so sorry for all you've been through causing you pain instead of playing the game how fucked up i was to think you were fine all this time i've been so blind chorus X5 Razors, booze,pills.... chorus X5 any advice? btw its much longer if i put the whole chorus
Kitty Clover Jazz Hands Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 292	June 17th, 2008 at 08:36pm breathe for love.:I loved the lines to the song you're working on on pg.8, they were just amazing! I love the idea of the song too, because it's original and unique. :> I like the lyrics to the one you wrote above, but it'd be easier to understand in my opinion if you separated the different groups of lines, because I can't really tell what the chorus is (no offense). :>
kaitlyn. Demolition Lover Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 16893	June 17th, 2008 at 09:59pm thank you and thanks again for the advice!
Kitty Clover Jazz Hands Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 292	June 17th, 2008 at 10:36pm you're welcome
Asiah Scott Joining The Black Parade Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 194	June 18th, 2008 at 06:11am Breathe for love:The one you wrote during the school is fantastic. And as Ary said your style is unique. The second one is also good. I love the verse and the way you've put it. xD I would just recommend that you write the whole song...cause its so good that the reader wants to read to the end. So a few lines look incomplete. I hope you got my point. =) Else, keep writing. Awesome work..xD
kaitlyn. Demolition Lover Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 16893	June 18th, 2008 at 03:34pm thanks for the advice , i'm trying to write more of the first song but its not that great so far edit: here's part of a song i wrote in school: Do you honestly think that you can escape? Escape the pain of your heart, the memories that haunt your dreams the tears that fall from the sky there dropping on your arms can you escape? i'm trying to write a chorus for this song thoughts?
Kitty Clover Jazz Hands Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 292	June 18th, 2008 at 05:29pm I love it! The lyrics are very creative, and I can't wait to read more :]
anthony green. In The Murder Scene Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 23325	June 18th, 2008 at 05:55pm the first one's done. SERIOUS BUSINESS scars won't show through these sleeves tears wait for late at night when we're alone but still surrounded we can't escape we've found our breaking point you can't see what we feel we're tearing off in the wrong direction this razorblade seems the only solution i don't understand why no one understands that this is serious business neither is this trigger the answer to what we need what we feel what we hear inside our heads all we need is just a smile but you can't even you can laugh you can only make this worse we're tearing off in the wrong direction this razorblade seems the only solution i don't understand why no one understands that this is serious business
kaitlyn. Demolition Lover Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 16893	June 18th, 2008 at 10:14pm i love it!!
kaitlyn. Demolition Lover Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 16893	June 18th, 2008 at 10:14pm Nekotora: I love it! The lyrics are very creative, and I can't wait to read more :] aww thanks
Kitty Clover Jazz Hands Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 292	June 19th, 2008 at 01:33am ^You're welcome :] and I love that song the daily fail.! How you finished it was awesome and the lyrics really explain to people,who haven't gone through that, what it's like ^_^
Asiah Scott Joining The Black Parade Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 194	June 19th, 2008 at 03:34am Breathe for Love: I love the imagery and the style of writing. Lovely! =D The Daily Fail: Glad to see it complete! xD Its really good. I love the chorus alot and the first stanza is beautifully written. And I think thats an awesome way to convey your message. xD
Black Presicion Killjoy Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 93	June 20th, 2008 at 05:19pm I'm really really really sorry that I haven't been around in a while... But Hey! School is finished today! YAY, NO MORE MS. BURKE!!!! (My evil Lit Teacher - I gave her a daring hug! Lmao) Ah, me sorry again
Black Presicion Killjoy Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 93	June 20th, 2008 at 05:46pm Here's some lyrics. It might be called Lullaby but yeah, again, not good at titles. So, help would be great. Uh...I wrote this a while ago. Hope you like it: Verse 1: Let my heart scream in the audio Let my heart bleed through the microphone Cause crying doesn't mean a thing And lying lets the misery in How long should I sing this song How long should this song go on to contradict this mirror to contradict my words Refrain 1: You're just waiting for my funeral But Mom and Dad don't know why You're just waiting for my funeral You're just waiting for me to die Chorus: Sing to me please a lullaby so I can sleep so time can fly and I can breathe Please hear me I'm so sorry Verse 2: Crying to the tune of your voice Crying cause there's only one choice Whispers from the writing on the wall These shots say I'm high when I'm at my fall Feels like I'm flying at the speed of sound Feels like I'm flying til I hit the ground Refrain 2: Just wait for my funeral Are you wondering why You're the reason I'm still crying You're the reason I will die Chorus: Sing to me please a lullaby so I can sleep so time can fly and I can breathe Please hear me I'm so sorry
Kitty Clover Jazz Hands Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 292	June 20th, 2008 at 06:09pm That's really beautiful and so sad at the same time. I love those lyrics and I think lullaby is a great title. My favorite lines though would be: Let my heart scream in the audio Let my heart bleed through the microphone Cause crying doesn't mean a thing And lying lets the misery in
mer von d Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 582	June 20th, 2008 at 09:52pm Crying to the tune of your voice Crying cause there's only one choice Whispers from the writing on the wall These shots say I'm high when I'm at my fall Feels like I'm flying at the speed of sound Feels like I'm flying til I hit the ground i really like this verse!!!!!! seriously, it's really good
Kitty Clover Jazz Hands Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 292	June 20th, 2008 at 11:12pm This is my newest song. It's called "Celebrations and Silver Bullets". I'd really appreciate some advice on it. :] Dear, I never meant to swallow. If I break, will you follow? Throw out the binding ribbon, Let me know if I'm forgiven. When we bound our loving hands And spoke simple words... I guess, now I fail. They've cornered us in herds. Chorus -------------------------------------------- Treat me like a fuckin' animal. Tie me down and declaw my daggers. Kiss me in this scarlet hall, Then aim the silver token At my beating heart. -------------------------------------------- Someday, we'll catch our glow again, But don't allow the bullet tears To prevent my thoughtful send. Cross your fingers and clasp my hand. Will the medicine redeem? Hail-like knocking growing, Flooding this cathedral with steam. Honey, breathe and stride, for me. (Chorus) When the bolted doors swing wide, I'll be wandering at your side. While the crowd cheers and bows, We know we've kept our whispered vows. (Chorus 2x) Sung with chorus 2x on the 2nd time -------------------------------------------------- Sound the bells, Save the merit, The shotgun deserves All the credit.
mer von d Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 582	June 21st, 2008 at 12:49am ^ i really love the imagery in this song. the only bit i don't get is the "i never meant to swallow" bit, but that's prolly just me being retarded lol. other than that i think it's pretty darn awesome
Kitty Clover Jazz Hands Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 292	June 21st, 2008 at 01:38am Oh thanks so much! That one bit saying, "I never meant to swallow" is a metaphor. the girl was an average human and was bitten by a werewolf, and her body took in the bite and she became a werewolf but it wasn't an intentional thing. sorry if i didn't express that in the song, but i guess i felt others might interpret it differently. :]

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