Radio Saturday Salute You in Your Grave Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 3513
June 19th, 2008 at 12:35pm
Rachel.:
Personally, if a person is respectful, then I won't have a problem with them. What goes on in their bedroom is their business and won't affect how I feel about them.
Oh, I dig you, sister. That's pretty much how I feel.
^ I understand what you mean. I'd been having that debate with myself for years now. I first found myself attracted to a girl in year 3! But I didn't think anything of it. By highschool, I realised I like both guys and girls in that way, but I was too scared to admit it.
It was only earlier this year, that I fully concluded - with a lot of time and thought put into it - that I'm bi. I've only told my good friends, and most of them are fine with it And even tease me about the girl I like in a fun way.
I had a lot of trouble accepting it at first, cos I felt I would be judged, and as you said, the fear of rejection.
Now all I have to do is tell my parents...
well see, i have a lesbian aunt and a bi-sexual cousin and i see how much they have to go through sometimes. and it's not just with other ppl but with friends and family too. and my best friend in the whole world has openly said that she is weirded out by bi-sexual girls. so if i, in turn, figure this all out.. i dont know how i would tell her, let alone anyone else.
thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564
June 19th, 2008 at 06:37pm
Radio Saturday:
Rachel.:
Personally, if a person is respectful, then I won't have a problem with them. What goes on in their bedroom is their business and won't affect how I feel about them.
Oh, I dig you, sister. That's pretty much how I feel.
But what if they bring it out of the bedroom? Not so much holding hands or anything like that, but always talking about the fact that they have that orientation and, well, more or less defining themselves with it?
Not sure where I stand here, but I wanted to introduce food for thought.
Radio Saturday Salute You in Your Grave Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 3513
June 20th, 2008 at 03:55am
^When I quoted her, I meant people being respectful as in, respecting someone else's desire to be/remain heterosexual. I don't care about people holding hands; hell, if people want to make out in the street, I'm all for it. (Having done such things myself. ) But I think there needs to be respect for all (legal) sexual persuasions.
However, one thing I dislike is people completely defining themselves by what they do in the sack. I've said this before and I'll say it again: It's just another label. If you "define yourself" by your sexuality, you're only boxing yourself in. Sexuality is fluid, and that is beautiful. But putting yourself in a box, like, "I'm only heterosexual," or, "I'm only homosexual," or, "I'm only bisexual," or whatever... That's just wrong. And I think it's bad because a lot of people who will define themselves in such reductionistic terms are the same people who say, "Don't label me!"
Of course we won't; you've done it yourself.
Basically, my point is: Sex is sex. It's not your entire personality; it's how you feel between your legs. Love is something different. But I think love needs to be the main focus here, not sex. Love is a very beautiful, deeply personal thing, and if two people of the same sex are in love, then... Great. Hope it lasts forever. I'd say the same about heterosexual couples, too. But if you're in love, you don't define yourself as being "in love." Everything else is just being "in lust," and that's nothing half so important.
(Did that make sense?)
Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614
June 20th, 2008 at 05:41am
Radio Saturday:
Basically, my point is: Sex is sex. It's not your entire personality; it's how you feel between your legs. Love is something different. But I think love needs to be the main focus here, not sex. Love is a very beautiful, deeply personal thing, and if two people of the same sex are in love, then... Great. Hope it lasts forever. I'd say the same about heterosexual couples, too. But if you're in love, you don't define yourself as being "in love." Everything else is just being "in lust," and that's nothing half so important.
(Did that make sense?)
There's no denying though that sex (biological or the act of sex) are a big part of life, and a lot of people do define themselves by it. I think it depends on the person as to what they define themselves as, not what anyone else thinks. Even though I don't define myself by my sexuality, a lot of people do, and there's nothing really wrong with that. People will define themselves however they want - I don't think there's any set mould.
Secondly, sex (biological) and the act of sex are not removed from love. I mean, people are going to choose a partner based on their sex, aren't they? But this discussion isn't about sex and love, it's about sexuality, so I won't say anymore there.
HEY AMY Salute You in Your Grave Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 3503
June 20th, 2008 at 06:00am
mindfuck.:
I mean, people are going to choose a partner based on their sex, aren't they? But this discussion isn't about sex and love, it's about sexuality, so I won't say anymore there. [/size][/font]
With that, I get what you mean. Cos if a guy is gay, he would generally look for guys and then go for personality.
But I have a friend, who does not consider gender at all. She looks for somone who she gets along with perfectly, and looks at their personality and everyhting, and does not see their gender. She totally disregards it. I think that's pretty cool really, and it always interests me, so we talk about it a lot.
Just thought I'd point that out
Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614
June 20th, 2008 at 07:17am
^But you have to admit, that's a pretty rare thing to find - someone who is willing to completely disregard gender.
I guess for bisexual people, they may not consider sex and gender as much, although I'm not sure.
HEY AMY Salute You in Your Grave Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 3503
June 20th, 2008 at 08:36am
^ Yeah. That's true. She doesn't consider herself bisexual though.
I'm bi, and I don't do that. Like, it doesn't bother me what gender, but I find I do look at their gender... Does that make sense? lol.
On the other hand. I considder myself to be heterosexual. Yet, I would have absolutely no problem with having sex with a person who's also female. I want to draw it even further away from "the sack" your sexuality, what attracts you the most and what kind of people you fall in love with is not defind by what sexual contacts you have.
Just look at how many gay men there's out there who's stuck in traditional marriages.
But what if they bring it out of the bedroom? Not so much holding hands or anything like that, but always talking about the fact that they have that orientation and, well, more or less defining themselves with it?
Not sure where I stand here, but I wanted to introduce food for thought.
Well, I mean, that's where "gay" and "having sex with someone who is the same sex" are different. Seriously, they have to put both on a lot of things, because people don't consider themselves "gay" even though their actions are what we might consider gay.
But that's a whole different thing, innit? Like, if you're really punk rock, and you define yourself with bands, people might get pissed at you and not hang out with you or something, but that's not legal or anything. So then it just becomes personal preference.
& people who don't care about gender are pansexual, not bi.
bi is liking both men and women, pan can include transpeople, intersex people, bi-gendered people (yes, some people do identify as this), agendered people (this too), androgynes, etc.
There's a lot of stuff outside of just guy and girl that a lot of people wouldn't be comfortable with.
Little Miss Mental Bleeding on the Floor Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1883
June 20th, 2008 at 11:15pm
I have nothing people who are gay, bi, or whatever. Most of my friends are in factgay or bi. There shouldn't be anything wrong with it, there shouldn't be any laws stating gay people can't marry. It is only a preference, they aren't genetically modified humans, they aren't contageous, you can't catch "gay", it bothers me how people make fun of gay people, and what's worse? Men think lesbians are sexy, but gay men are queer, or weird, blah blah blah!!! But whatever! People need to remove themselves from their stupid bubbles and come back to reality. So yeah, there isn't anything wrong with being gay...
Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614
June 20th, 2008 at 11:19pm
I wanted to bring up a point in this thread, and I don't mean to offend anyone who is bisexual or lesbian... but I have noticed that a lot of young girls seem to treat bisexuality and lesbianism as a kind of fad. I talk to this one girl (who's younger than me), and she is always going on about the fact that she's a "true" lesbian and such, but then she always talks about wanting to screw all these guys in bands etc. And it just leaves me scratching my head... maybe she's just a confused young girl, I don't know.
But she's not the only one I've noticed it in. It just seems to me like there are younger girls who proudly proclaim their bisexuality or lesbianism in a kind of shallow way... almost as if they woke up one day and decided they wanted to be bi or a lesbian. I'm not saying all are like this. It's kind of hard to explain without offending anyone, because people can misconstrue things - but I just want to know if anyone else has kind of noticed this?
And the reason I am not bringing young guys into this (in relation to being gay or bi) is purely because I've noticed it more in girls. I'm not wanting to be sexist.
HEY AMY Salute You in Your Grave Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 3503
June 21st, 2008 at 02:57am
^ Even though I'm bi, I kinda agree with you. Cos I see what you mean.
It makes me confused and upset when people 'abuse' the bisexuality and go around one day saying "Oh yeah! I'm lesbian!" and then the next day like guys again. - Maybe not that dramatic.
But it just frustrates me especially because I had a lot of trouble coming out, and a lot of my friends still don't know. And it's a very hard and confusing path at first, and then people go around abusing it.
I don't want to offend anyone either, but I'm just stating my opinion and agreeing with Mindfuck.
Little Miss Mental Bleeding on the Floor Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1883
June 21st, 2008 at 09:23am
Mmhm, you all have a point. Some of my friends kinda did this, but my best friend did it over a long period of time, and I know she really is bi. She loves Gerard Way *sexiest man alive*, and wants to bang Amy Lee...and I know she loves me, she's told me so. And it doesn't bother me at all, but she keeps telling me she loves me, and won't hurt me when I have a bf and she knows I'm straight...it does bother me someimes and I've told her before that I don't think of her like that...but she keeps going on and on about it. Kinda freaks me out a little
MelancholyMisery Salute You in Your Grave Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 2304
June 21st, 2008 at 11:27pm
We were studying a text by a homosexual man in my English class at the beginning of this year and the class started disscussing gay people and they were all openly saying how they felt because they had no idea there was a bi girl in their class (me). Most of the girls said that if there was a gay person in their PE class they would get changed in the toilets so they didn't look at them getting undressed!
This kind of offended me because just because I'm bi doesnt mean I am attracted to every girl and every boy and even if I was attracted to them I'm not a pervert!
I feel shoved in a corner. I can't get up and tell them to shut up because if I do they will freak out.
Alexface. Salute You in Your Grave Age: 31 Gender: Male Posts: 3489
June 22nd, 2008 at 09:34am
I saw someone on TV today talking about the gay bishop thing and he made a really good point; "Why are people making so big a fuss over two men loving each other when its hardly an issue when you compare it to the wars and famines and things that are happening in other parts of the world?"
^I'm sorry, I'm just fed up with people assuming that people chose to be gay, and it is an illness, and it can be cured, because people don't, it isn't, and it can't.
I am usually very well contained in debates, but this just annoyed me, and people haven't seemed to listen when it's been explained calmly.
and I would really appreciate it if you weren't so sarcastic
Hmm. I can kind of see his point, at least with the whole "People don't choose to be gay" deal. While in most cases people do not choose their sexuality, some do. In media, it is often viewed as some sort of "trend" to be gay. Hell, I've met quite a few girls that have only had sex with another girl because their male friends liked it, and they wanted their sick male 'approval'. It sickens me. I'm bisexual, and I did not choose to be this way. It all started out with looking a girls' butts, to be quite blunt. They're nice. I've liked girls since I was about 13 years old.
This is a fantasic thread, by the way. I'm always up for a debate without people whining to me about what the word of God says and doesn't say.
Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614
June 23rd, 2008 at 08:52pm
XMaliceInWonderlandX:
Hmm. I can kind of see his point, at least with the whole "People don't choose to be gay" deal. While in most cases people do not choose their sexuality, some do. In media, it is often viewed as some sort of "trend" to be gay. Hell, I've met quite a few girls that have only had sex with another girl because their male friends liked it, and they wanted their sick male 'approval'. It sickens me. I'm bisexual, and I did not choose to be this way. It all started out with looking a girls' butts, to be quite blunt. They're nice. I've liked girls since I was about 13 years old.
That's not really people "choosing to be gay" though. That just sounds like people choosing to cling onto a trend. There's a difference - because these people who treat homosexuality or bisexuality as a trend are not really homosexual or bisexual.
HEY AMY Salute You in Your Grave Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 3503
June 23rd, 2008 at 09:04pm
My friend Jesse is a gay guy, and he's 16 years old. He's an incredibly sweet kid and I love him to bits. Anyway, he's kinda famous on Youtube in Sydney, and posts many videos. He recently did one on homosexuality and yeah. I'll put it up, cos I agree with a lot of what he said, and he's got some pretty good ideas. A lot of it is also on the nature/nurture debate. So yeah, watch it
) But I think there needs to be respect for all (legal) sexual persuasions. 
