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Your Songs/Lyrics

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sherlock!
Crash Queen
sherlock!
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 30830
March 21st, 2009 at 05:51am
i wrote a poem, it's also in the poetry thread. but I need to know if there's anything I can add/change to make it better fitting to make a song?


I'm back to business, but not the same old one.
Dear government, can you hire someone so young?
or maybe I've become just a little too hopeful,
A little too loud, a little too cruel.

Downing this shot glass of ink,
held my chest and taught me to think.
Killed the pen and caught my breath,
danced the paper that read of death.

So much for a disco on my teeth,
licking off lines that used to breathe,
Shaking off nonsense for a night with you,
caught up in the color of a rare blue moon.

Do you believe in me?
I don't.

I'm also trying to figure out which one makes a good chorus, or if I should make an entirely new stanza for it.
my friend wants to make it a song, instead of a poem.
any comments, criticism or changes anyone could suggest? much, much appreciated. (:
anthony green.
In The Murder Scene
anthony green.
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 23325
April 4th, 2009 at 10:31am
^^ I think the second stanza (downing this shot glass of ink...) would make an excellent chorus. It's really promising, I think you should keep working on it (:

CINEMATICS

My mind's another tangled rope
Messed up with cinematics & reality
Nothing can untie the chances I took,
Not even a single broken look my way
Can compare to what I used to say to you.

If you look careful & close you'll see
The difference between real and reality.
Reality is scripted, broken, planned,
and real just goes on hand-in-hand with you.

How can I even stand to speak to you again?
After everything and all my sins,
Verbal cuts have never broken skin til now.
Not until every word you said
Sunk down into my thick head did I see
Just what you do to me.

All this glass from the broken mirror next to me,
Only shows all the troubles we've seen,
And everything I never ended in the end.
I only want all this to stop
But what I get just tops it off.

And I've never been known for all this,
I can't even spare a goodbye kiss
Only because of what you do & say
I know you only wanted this to stay.

How can I even stand to speak to you again?
After everything and all my sins,
Verbal cuts have never broken skin til now.
Not until every word you said
Sunk down into my thick head did I see
Just what you do to me.

Blackouts and sleep were temporary
No single cure would work for me
Now I look ahead with a poker face
And wait until I fall from grace.
Only in your mind do I find myself exactly as I am.

This didn't go the way I planned,
It never worked out in the end.
This didn't go the way I planned,
It never worked out in the end.
This didn't go the way I planned,
It never worked out in the end.

How can I even stand to speak to you again?
After everything and all my sins,
Verbal cuts have never broken skin til now.
Not until every word you said
Sunk down into my thick head did I see
Just what you do to me.

Broken hearts and limbs of starch
Caused by every word and blow
You gave that hurt, I hope you know
Everything's okay, it's all fine
Just because we gave it all the time we could.
Rayessez
Killjoy
Rayessez
Age: -
Gender: Male
Posts: 14
May 28th, 2009 at 11:38pm
ive written about 45 songs, all too long to post, (or mabe i just dont have time). but i can share part of one.

Dreams:

Chorus:
The whole world keeps on movin' around me
but im frozen in my minds eye
when i look to the past, the memories escape me
cause im lost in this moment of time.

Peace
Raven_mystic.wolf
Killjoy
Raven_mystic.wolf
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
June 3rd, 2009 at 02:02pm
I think my lyrics r okay but i dont kow can anyone help????
sherlock!
Crash Queen
sherlock!
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 30830
June 8th, 2009 at 12:02am
new song?

Supernova!

I. I looked back at when I was older,
Saying things like,
"I never loved you, just your lies".
Thinking of the way you made me feel,
I'm gonna bet
You're gonna lose yourself in time.

You're the perfect disaster I've been waiting for,
And I wouldn't fix you.

Chorus
Supernova!
You went down with the world,
Falling up and in love.
Mass explosion!
Walk and talk like an end,
Losing lips like a trend
Young and wild, little sweet thing.

II. Looking forward to when I'm younger,
Wishing only
That falling star would come right back.
If there could be a better chance than you,
I would take it;
Your words are just a waste of time.

You're the perfect disaster I've been wating for.
And I wouldn't fix you.

[CHORUS]

Bridge:
Atomic touch leads to nuclear night,
These walls are made for better sight.
If you could find yourself a newer face,
And find yourself a sweeter face,
I'd take you back; But,

You're the perfect disaster I've been waiting for,
And I shouldn't miss you.

[CHORUS 2x]

Young and wild, little sweet thing.


comments? (:
calculated sacrifice
Shotgun Sinner
calculated sacrifice
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 7807
June 8th, 2009 at 12:06am
Ignore. >.> <.<
Asiah Scott
Joining The Black Parade
Asiah Scott
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 194
June 8th, 2009 at 03:02am
I wrote a song a few days back. Had been completely cut off with my passions for long but now I am back.

THE FIRST STEP

You
Dont even know
What I feel for you
You
Dont even care
What ever I do
You
Dont even want
To do anything with me
You
Dont even try
To know how I feel

[Chorus]
So let me take the first step
Let me drive you crazy till you know
Exactly how I feel
So let me brush away your conceit
Let me make you aware of the breeze of love
Thats blowing down your window-pane
I dont care if it makes you insane

[Verse]
You
Are not talking to me
Because
I have told you exactly how I feel
But you, hey, yeah you, you
Have gotta be strong
No matter who ever is right or wrong

[Chorus]
I've taken the first step
I've driven you crazy till you knew
Exactly how I felt
I've brushed away your conceit
I've made you aware of the breeze of love
Thats blowing down your window-pane
And I still dont care if it makes you insane

[Ending Verse]
Its all about you
And for once I want to end it
You think that you rock
But honestly you have got to mend it
You should know
That I am not your caged bird
You should know
That I wont keep loving you forever

[Chorus]
I've taken the first step
I've driven you crazy till you knew
Exactly how I felt
I've brushed away your conceit
I've made you aware of the breeze of love
Thats blowing down your window-pane
And I still dont care if it makes you insane

Hope you guys like it. xD
thatkindavampireluv
Killjoy
thatkindavampireluv
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
June 29th, 2009 at 06:27pm
The Fatality Very Happy

do you want the song to end it in a paragraph, or how long do you want it befor...THE END!?
thatkindavampireluv
Killjoy
thatkindavampireluv
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
June 29th, 2009 at 06:46pm
man these lyrics are great... when brainstorming for ideas for a band name i came up with this song yes, its kinda about handguns, kinda about war

handgun heaven
(chorus)
bullets fired up wont be enough to fuel my rage so turn the page, lead is in my diet we need to riot abandon all we defend handguns to the end

keep up the spirit like a gunfight, dont fade out by the flashing light
dont worry it doesnt hurt, but if you lose youll eat the dirt
there goes my last round, just as they release the hounds
i found my enemies, taking a piss behind the trees
its starting to sting on my neck, it will be a sec before...
(chorus)
try to escape the warfeild, theyll tie you up and make you kneel
the gun to your head will be your choice, the fountains will silence your voice
and you will be lying here, in the morgue theyll clean your hair
we'll all be left fighting here, with more gaurd on our rear
all our hands are full, it never gets dull as...
(chorus)

bullets fired up
bullets fired up
bullets fired up
bullets falling down

this cant be what i want, ide better change the font
before so many lives are lost, i guess it is what this costs
ive picked up so many shells, this has to be better than handgrenade hell
all my friends are gone, we quit at dawn, but...
(chorus)
this cant be what i want, (bullets fired up)ide better change the font(wont be enough)before so many lives are lost, (to fuel my rage)i guess it is what this costs(so turn the page)ive picked up so many shells,(lead is in my diet) this has to be better than handgrenade hell(we need to riot)all my friends are gone, (abandone all we defend)we quit at dawn, (handguns to the end)

i am making the opposite of this song called handgrenade hell which mentions handgun heaven in a line like this one does, and my signature is the chorus for my song "broken windows usually mean something's wrong"
i havent shown my songs to anyone so i want some feedback
misa misa.
Shotgun Sinner
misa misa.
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 8241
January 1st, 2010 at 08:00pm
alexander william.:

I really liked supernova.
it had some really good lines
i loved this one especially.
You're the perfect disaster I've been waiting for,
And I wouldn't fix you.

greatestemokiduknow
Killjoy
greatestemokiduknow
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 65
January 12th, 2010 at 11:47am
"I am"
[chrous]
I am lonely but I am not alone
I am loved by few but lovely to none
I am cherished by some but abusded by all
I am alive outside but dead in my soul

this is just the chorus but the rest should be done soon.....i hope
Morefreshfruit
Killjoy
Morefreshfruit
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 15
February 4th, 2010 at 03:06pm
^^That's good, I like it!

This is a song I wrote a while ago. It's based on the book Enna Burning by Shannon Hale. It's called "Monster"

(V1)A sound I thought I’d never hear
A burning passion I’ve never felt
With nothing to fill your empty eyes
I’ll send them fire till they melt
Right off your face onto your toes
So you can see the path you chose

(Chorus)I am a warrior
In my own army
A stricken soldier
Plagued with uncertainty
A lying friend
Burdened with all these ashen things
Or a scared little girl
Who let this monster get the best of me

(V2)What first pushed me away
Now draws me ever so close
So enticing, so beautiful
But it holds a double-edged sword
I feel your winds of change
But I push it far away
I see my friends and yesterday
But I burn it all away

I am a warrior
In my own army
A stricken soldier
Plagued with uncertainty
A lying friend
Burdened with all these ashen things
Or a scared little girl
Who let this monster get the best of me

(Bridge)And now you think you know me so well
But you have only loved a shell
Who do you love, who do you love
As the fire burns you to the ground
I have to say, do you love me now?

Hope you like it!
bockscar
Killjoy
bockscar
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1
April 29th, 2010 at 12:51am
This is a song that i wrote for my band "The London Parade"

Nice Guys Finish Last

Intro/verse:
This is a song, about you…and me…
We we're in love, in perfect harmony,
I’d hold your hand, and you’d kiss me,
But it's to bad, this is only a fucking dream.

Bridge:
Now its, back to reality where we’re just friends, nothings gonna change,
And its always gonna be the same, and you’re still the girl that I can’t have, I’m sick
And tired of coming in last.

Chorus:
Nice guys finish last, I’m the first had account,
When you smile at me, it make’s my heart melt,
Nice guys finish last, and I would know,
i would hold you close and never let go.

Verse:
Sometimes I think, that you, forget me,
How the hell, does this keep happening,
I should stand out, in front of everybody,
Can't you see, that you belong with me.


Bridge:
Now its, back to reality where we’re just friends, nothings gonna change,
And its always gonna be the same, and you’re still the girl that I can’t have, I’m sick
And tired of coming in last.

(Break Down)

Chorus:
Nice guys finish last, I’m the first had account,
When you smile at me, it make’s my heart melt,
Nice guys finish last, and I would know,
i would hold you close and never let go.


And, this is a song about a break up on your birthday.. always fun.

Light The Wick

Verse:
19 years today, now i dont know what to do,
all i wanted was you, and now your telling me its through,
this wasn't all lies, but it was there all along,
a bullet through the heart, and now it feels all wrong.

Chorus:
So Happy Birthday, Here's a card that say's its over,
(Its over now)
If I still believed in wishes, i'd blow these candles out,
lets light this match, and burn this place to the ground.

Verse 2:
Here's to the day, Let's make this one last,
now i want this to be over, to die in the past,
can we make this work, i don't want to die alone,
i'm fed up with the frustration, i just want you,
to come back home.

Chorus 2:
So Happy Birthday, Here's a card that say's its over,
(Its over now)
If I still believed in wishes, i'd blow these candles out,
lets light this match, and burn this place to the ground.

Bridge:
i'm sorry,
i don't want to think anymore,
do you hate me?
or will this end up like before?

End:
So Happy Birthday, Here's a card that say's its over,
(Its over now)
If I still believed in wishes, i'd blow these candles out,
lets light this match, and burn this place to the ground.
misa misa.
Shotgun Sinner
misa misa.
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 8241
September 22nd, 2010 at 07:45am
^^ i enjoyed your lyrics.
I don't know what tune you were writing them to but i kept thinking of the Greenday song because it has the same name.
I think something fast and punky could work, because of the angsty aggressive tone (especially in the last two lines)
good work.
Cyanide Romance
Killjoy
Cyanide Romance
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 11
April 15th, 2011 at 12:10pm
Not finished yet but I wrote some lyrics for my band...still needs a second chorus and a bridge but I'm happy with the progress. Let me know what you think.

Verse1:
I crawl around like I'm a fly on a wall.
Want to descend but you just won't let me fall.
I want to dance in the masquerade
But we'll attend the ball.
People tell me that I shouldn't create cuz,
Love ain't a miracle it's something to hate so,
Let's burn a chapel of new-found love
And watch ours vows evaporate.

Chorus1:
I feel the burn again,
This flame against my skin.
I see your corpse inside my mirror but I'll never win.
And how much can I take?
My heart is set to break.
I hide inside this mausoleum,
Cut my eyes out
I don't need em.
Let's just sit back
Laughing as we burn.

Verse2:
I always fuck up when my love means the most.
I'm like a parasite; you're always the host.
One day I'll show you passion
By then I'll be a ghost.
Too many times I see my vanity crack cuz,
You say you love me and I can't say it back so,
Pour me a shot of your cheapest poison
And tell me all the virtues that I lack.
Scarecrow101
Killjoy
Scarecrow101
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2
October 3rd, 2011 at 10:55am
Wrote this about two years ago. Tell me what you think about it.

The Monster Song

Am-Em (repeat all throughout the song)

The monsters gonna eat you up
And we never gonna scream it out!
I didn’t know that you work here
I think I smell death here!

You’re looking at your mirror now
Swear to God you miss you!
Never thought of living
Only knew of dying
Refrain:
For all the dying you said Hey!
You’re too in love to make it go

Chorus:
And when you feed the demons that you create
Feed the ghost of the past and suffocate
And when the doors crack open you go out
Face the dark and turn the lights out. . .


You’ll never gonna scream it out
Cause we’ll never gonna get out!
Didn’t think I’ll die here
I think I smell death here!

You’re looking at the books you made
All crags it’s on a shade
Never thought of singing
Only knew of screaming!

Refrain:
For all the dying you said Hey!
You’re to in love to make it go

(Chorus)