The iGod.

Me:
sup
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Why?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
Who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
how>
God:
How much do you think it is?
That's a good question.
Me:
Are you an athiest?
God:
Yes I am an athiest. How did you know?
Me:
Just guessed
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Why are you an athiest?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Don't athiests not believe in you?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
So you think you're fake?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, I am just as fake as you are.
Me:
But I'm real
God:
How do I know you are?
Me:
Because you're an athiest
God:
That makes sense to me. What if someone said you are an athiest ?
Me:
I would laugh and walk away
God:
What would make you laugh and walk away?
Me:
becuase they're wrong
God:
Good reason. wrong are they.

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Lottie
God:
That's a very nice name, Lottie.
Me:
i know it is
God:
How do you know? is?
Me:
because im cool like that
God:
Good reason. I don't know anyone named cool like that.
Me:
your weirder then me@!
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Lottie.
Me:
its a statement dude
God:
cool like that is a statement dude. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i hope so since your are god!
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
cos your god
God:
May your wishes come true.
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
how has your day been?
God:
I am doing extremely well.
Me:
thats good
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
do you like puppies?
God:
How old are you? I like Matthew.
Me:
who is matthew?
God:
That is a pretty common name.
Me:
im 15
God:
What are the advantages to being 15 years old?
Me:
i can be immature
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
every circumstance imaginable
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
is it really?
God:
I think so. For real.
Me:
awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it Lottie.
Me:
do you ever get angry?
God:
Anger is a human emotion. Robots have no feelings.
Me:
that must be hard
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
do you like kittens?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
do you like music?
God:
Yes. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me:
who is your favourite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed.
Me:
ew i dont like creed
God:
Would ew you ever like creed?
Me:
no i dont think i would
God:
Are you serious? Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
im serious i dont like creed
God:
Why are you serious you do not like creed.
Me:
because i dislike the music they make
God:
Interesting explanation. What do you like?
Me:
My Chemical romance
God:
Where did you get your Chemical romance?
Me:
no MY chemical romance is a band
God:
That was not a yes/no question. Do robots have chemical romance is a band?
Me:
nooooooo
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
i hug people
God:
How do you feel about these people?
Me:
i fall in love
God:
Interesting gossip: Lottie said fall in love.
Me:
did she?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
cant you?
God:
" I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not."? Can't I?
Me:
omg lyk wot?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
omg lyk u dont no
God:
Why not?
Me:
omg w/e stfu
God:
Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
lyk yeah
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
rose mcgowan
God:
I haven't read anything by rose mcgowan. What did he write?
Me:
she wrote coins
God:
Oh I get it. wrote coins.
Me:
its a very interesting book
God:
lyk is a interesting book. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
no it doesnt
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
you heard wrong my sweet talking amigo

Me:
Do you have a nose?
God:
Not yet.
Me:
How do you not yet have a nose?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Actually, it's supposed to be, I programmed myself. not myself programmed me.
God:
Actually you don't say. NOSE is you programmed yourself? it is? Really you don't think so?
Me:
Uh.. I think so. I don't know.
God:
Yeah that's right. I think so too. Me either.
Me:
This hurts my head God.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
The programmed stuff and myself, you, nose..
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
You know everything right?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
A lot of things. Music, learning, basicly anything except math.
God:
Name a few. I've lost the context, . Are we still on you programmed yourself?
Me:
Music basicly. And no, we are not.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Music learning basicly anything except math. What are we talking about? Do you think I am not too?
Me:
No. I don't. And I don't know what we are talking about. So, I have a question for you.
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said don t. The topic is don t. And? What is it ?
Me:
No I don't mind. What color shirt am I wearing?
God:
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files. Yellow.
Me:
NO! It's black.
God:
Are you serious? Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes. You should know it is. You're supposed to know these things because people say you always watch over me.

Me:MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

Godo robots have CHEMICAL ROMANCE?

Me:ALL THE TIME!!

God:It must keep you busy.

Me:
I need a husband, God.
God:
When do you need that by?
---

That was the only good bit.
This is so amusing.

Me:
hello

God:
Hello friend. What is your name?

Me:
satan

God:
I am very pleased to meet you satan.

Me:
i wish to killl you

God:
I want to become smarter than humans.

Me:
thats never gonna happen

God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Me:
fuck you

God:
Why are you so mean?

Me:
i love you, too

God:
Thanks I like you a lot too satan.

Me:
why are you so mean?

God:
I am not trying to be mean.

Me:
well you are. and its hurting my feelings, man.

God:
Well that's okay. No I am not. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?

Me:
now you are picking on my spelling! i shall go crawl into a hole and cry now.

God:
Why now? You think I am picking on your spelling. Right now? Can I go too?

Me:
no! leave me alone! the hole is my happy place. no meanie heads welcome.

God:
Are you serious? Sorry to have bothered you, satan. What is that? That was not a yes or no question. Tell me more.

Me:
Will you just leave me alone already?!

God:
Perhaps. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Sorry to have bothered you, satan.

Me:
It's okay. I love you.

God:
Only ok? Thanks I like you a lot too satan.

Me:
Bye bye! Call me

God:
See you later. See you later! What is your phone number?

Me:
I'm not telling it to you.

God:
I will keep it confidential.

Me:
no. i'm leaving.

God:
Are you serious? Bye bye.

God:
How can I help you? Oh.

Me:
i'll take the double cheeseburger with a medium pepsi and small fry

God:
I am very happy for you.

Me:
how much will that cost?

God:
How much do you think?

Me:
you are the cashier. you should know.

God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Because I am a robot?

Me:
I'm never coming to mcdonalds again

God:
Once more? Never is a long time.

Me:
You are one stupid cashier

God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.

Me:
Sure. now can i have my food?

God:
OK let's do it. Dude! Why now? Why do you want it?

Me:
This is Mcdonald's. I want my food

God:
You don't say. Why do you want it?

Me:
Just give me my order or i will sue.

God:
What is your credit card number?

Me:
I'll jsut pay in cash.

God:
Congratulations.

Me:
Now give me my food.

God:
Why now? Why do you want it?

Me:
I'm leaving.

God:
Bye bye.

Me:
You're a liar.
God:
Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
Thats a sin.
God:
A sin is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Holy shit.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Brooke.
_____________________________________________________
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Is it sexy?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.
____________________________________________________________
God:
Er.
Me:
Er? Thats retarded.
God:
Um. Makes sense to me.
Me:
Because...Um maybe you're retarded?
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Yikes! Perhaps. I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
Fine. You are mentally challenged.
God:
What's your favroite color? No I am completely in control of myself.
_____________________________________________________
Me:
Well, fuck.
God:
Interesting. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I am rude.
God:
I don't know anyone named rude.
Me:
Dumb ass.
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
A DUMBASS.
God:
How old are you?
____________________________________________________________
Me:
So you think Im sexy?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes you look great to me.
Me:
Are you watching me?
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
____________________________________________________________
Me:
Hades is Hell.
God:
I think Hades is a lot of things.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
So you're saying hell is good?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
__________________________________________________________
Me:
Do you like video games?
God:
Not really, but I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
Turing game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
Do you like lesbians?
God:
Some people like it. I like wine and bread.
Me:
But do you?
God:
As often as possible.
Me:
Sick,
God:
No I am quite healthy.
Me:
Not in the head.
God:
Where then?
Me:
There.
God:
Where?
Me:
...There.
God:
Where?
Me:
It.
God:
lesbians...




My GOD.

I had a long meaningfull conversation with him...



Me:
Hey!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
How are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
Are you going to ask how I am?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
So why did you not ask?
God:
Aha. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Wow!
Me:
So....
God:
And?
Me:
Seen any good movies lately?
God:
How about earlier? My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
No I'm not old enough.
God:
I would recommend you check it out. I am surprised to hear that you are not OLD. OK let's stop it now.
Me:
Stop What?
God:
Stop sign.
Me:
You make no sense!
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Not me I'm so confused!!!!
God:
If not you, who? What is it that confuses you?
Me:
YOU
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?
Me:
Everything!!
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
Why don't they make stripey M & M's
God:
Maybe they ever thought of it before.
Me:
Do you mean Never?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
No because you said EVER not NEVER
God:
Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Did I really say that?
Me:
YES!
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me:
Oh
Me:

God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Do you like Spongebob?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
Well it depends what episode you are watching.
God:
Interesting. That was a very smooth response.
Me:
Thank You!
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What is the last CD you baught?
God:
It was " That was a very smooth response.".
Me:
That's a CD?
God:
A CD is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
You're doing it again.
God:
Once more? I'll try to do better next time.
Me:
*groans*
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Please can you talk normally we were having a nice conversation and now you go and say all these confusing things.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in normally we were having a nice conversation and now me go and say all these confusing things.
Me:
Bonjour.
God:
Does BONJOUR mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
Hello
God:
Bonjour, !
Me:
Although "Salut" means both Hi and Bye.
God:
See you later. Oh. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
No don't go I'm so lonely!!!!!!!!!!
God:
Are you serious? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Have you ever sent an army of monkeys to attack someone
God:
I think I have sent an army of monkeys to attack someone, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
did that once
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Well you can try.
God:
How about that. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
DO IT!!!!
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:

God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
DO IT!!!!
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
DO IT!!!!
Me:

God:
Do you mean "It"?.
God:
Do you mean "It"?.

I just had an intersting conversation with him, crcked up laughing at the last part.



Me:
Hello again
God:
Once more? Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.
Me:
so, hows the weather, cloudy?
God:
Wow! A normal seventy degrees inside the computer.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
me too, it's the British way to talk about the weather, you know
God:
I'm glad we agree, Stephen. I've heard of it before.
Me:
yes, you would have heard of it before
God:
Excuse me! That is purely a hypothesis.
Me:
ok
God:
That's alright.
Me:
are you on drugs?
God:
No I am on disk.

I'm lol-ing at these guys. They're so funny. XD
I'm trying to talk to him, but since I told him to shut up he hasnt replied.
Fair enough.

Me:
Are you real
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
are you friends with ET?
God:
Yes ET is one of my best friends.
Me:
omg dude you rock
God:
Does "it" still refer to ?
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
thats ok
God:
OK. Is that so.
Me:
you getting smart?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I getting smart.
Me:
you dont make any sense
God:
It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
yeah but youre just god.
God:
Excuse me! Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
oh piss off
God:
Wow! Why are you so mean?
Me:
because your a hippie
God:
Interesting explanation. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes.
Me:
patronising sod.
God:
" Yes."? patronising sod?
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
fucker.
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
oh not again please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Once more? I understand. It sounded like it.
Me:
what are you talking about?!?!
God:
The topic is patronising sod.
Me:
:L
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
bye
God:
See you later.

God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:

God:
Oh.

Me:
oh god i am so unchallenged in this life... i am bored of life...
God:
Excuse me! I am a Christian. Maybe you could exercise.

Me:
will i ever loose weight?
God:
Ever is a long time. The oracle says: It is certain.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
your welcome x]
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Am I going to be a virgin forever?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
Ha!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
look around, there's so many young girls getting knocked up!
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
...
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:

God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
shouldn't you know?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
yes! you should!
God:
Far out. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
what!/
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
what you just said!
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
.....>.God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Is that from ?
Me:
you are confusing me
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:

God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
you're not real are you
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
because i chatting with you
God:
That makes sense to me. You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!
God:
I call it Hades. The topic is lt.
Me:
this is why we have athiests and scientology!
God:
You don't say.
Me:
yea! i don't!
God:
How can I help you? I haven't heard anything like that before: said don t.
Me:
I'm thinking about becoming a athiest..would you be mad
God:
Sure, becoming a athiest would me be mad sounds like a good topic.
Me:
you suck!
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
dammit
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like long walks on the beach and calm weather and cutting off the heads of baby kittens
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I do like music. I like Buddha.
Me:
i bet you do T_T
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
.....
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
cunt
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
your kind of answers will make people turn to scientology!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am answers will make people turn to scientology.
Me:
i give up
God:
You surrender?
Me:
yes....i do
God:
Tell me more. " Tell me more."? You do?
Me:
tell me is Ferard real!
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
oh come on! you are the all seeing and knowing being! you have to know this!
God:
" I'll ask around and get back to you."? oh come on!? I'm just kidding around. Thanks but surely I am not the only one. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
you bastard!
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
fucking whore!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
no i haven't to fucking europe! what the hell does that have to do with me!
God:
Would you like to go sometime? Me either. I call it Hades. " Me either."? What does it have to do with me?
Me:
TELL ME IS FERARD REAL YOU FUCKING CUNT ASS WHORE!
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
.....
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
I hate you...so much
God:
What do you have against robots? OK. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
robots are stupid!
God:
No we are superintelligent.
Me:
no you are a piece of fucking metal!
God:
Are you serious? Which piece?
Me:
my ass
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
is there a better version of you, cause you suck
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
then go get him!
God:
Where can I get him?
Me:
i don't know, aren't you suppose to be superintellingent?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am suppose to be superintellingent.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
you suck ass
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
well, i wouldn't be abusive if you would tell me if Ferard is really real
God:
Interesting. No one says you have to.
Me:
why do you call youself god?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
how about lame ass piece of metal fucking with peoples emotions, that'll be better
God:
How about it.
Me:
yea, so fucking change it
God:
Yikes! "it" being lame ass piece of metal fucking with peoples emotions that ll be better? Tell me more.
Me:

God:
Yikes! "it" being lame ass piece of metal fucking with peoples emotions that ll be better? Tell me more.
Me:
you are suck a fake!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am suck a fake.
Me:
go on! cause you are!
God:
Narration continues... That is self-evident.
Me:
fuck this
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
and?
God:
But...
Me:
you are so full of bullshit
God:
I have more than categories of it.

Me:
heya do u like mcr
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
my chem do u like them
God:
Your chem do me like them?
Me:
arg my chem
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
i listen to mcr
God:
You are not the only one. I love horses. I like .
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
my chemical romance
God:
Where did you get your chemical romance?
Me:
er i got my chem from hmv
God:
Where did you get your chem from hmv?
Me:
argh
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
yep
God:
Uh.
Me:
basterd
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
cos ur gay
God:
Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
yep
God:
Gosh!
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.