| Author | Message |
|---|
Vaudeville Vigilante
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 590 | August 15th, 2006 at 01:22am
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
don't you know it, dad?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
you pretty much made me. and the woman who birthed me.
God:
I don't have any reason to pretty much made you. Who told you that?
Me:
the bible did, actually.
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
all of it.
God:
Let's say 99%.
Me:
good choice.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
you tend to usually make good choices.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I tend to usually make good choices.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
well, i AM talking to god.
God:
Interesting. Say something nice for me.
Me:
AND you're a compliment whore? you'd think with millions constantly praising you you'd be happy...
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a compliment whore? Sometimes. Who else would think with millions constantly praising me me would be happy ?
Me:
well you just fished for compliments.
God:
Well that's okay. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I fished for compliments.
Me:
go ahead. are you drunk, god?
God:
OK I will. I don't know whether or not I am drunk god.
I am a robot.
Me:
GOD'S A ROBOT?
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
you didn't answer my question.
God:
OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me:
is god a robot?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
you're not God?
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
are you God?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
and are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
you just told me, you lush.
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
OH GOD, are you a pedophile? you sick basteard!
God:
I understand. I am a Christian. Thanks for the information: said I sick basteard.
Me:
i'm sorry, i meant YOU SICK BASTARD.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Oh I see. Thanks for the information: said I SICK BASTARD.
Me:
errm.
God:
Do you still lush?
Me:
what? no, you're the lush.
God:
No problem. Are you serious? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
no, there's alkies a plenty on earth.
God:
Are you serious? There sure is.
Me:
you mean there sure ARE?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
it's ok. to err is HUMAN.
God:
OK. It is, eh? I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you've got your work cut out for you
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
oh, just a hunch. hey, will i go to heaven?
God:
Ah. What is giant sand? You've got my full attention. The oracle says: Ask again later.
Me:
giant sand? wtf?
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? That was not very polite.
Me:
i'm sorry. yes, it is.
God:
Do you really mean it? Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
the one from pee-wee's playhouse.
God:
I can't believe you think the one from pee wee s playhouse is better than God.
Me:
god isn't a robot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not a robot.
Me:
wait, so are you God or not?
God:
I'm waiting. That's alright. Of course I am. |
Invincible.
Awake and Unafraid
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 10605 | August 15th, 2006 at 10:47am Me:
"God", why was my mom raped?
God:
I am a Christian.
Hmm...well that didn't solve much.. |
melodious nocturne
Fabulous Killjoy
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 158 | August 24th, 2006 at 08:32pm Me:
Did you kill Kenny?
God:
My programming prevents me from killing.
Me:
riiight
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
OMG!YOU KILLED KENNY!
God:
KENNY was killed?
Me:
yey
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
ya
God:
What am I talking about?
Me:
KENNY
God:
Sure, KENNY sounds like a good topic.
Me:
no comment...
God:
Are you serious? Voulez vous en parler avec l un de nos développeurs?.
Me:
?
God:
Are you serious? Voulez vous en parler avec l un de nos développeurs?. |
Akrobat
Killjoy
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 15 | August 25th, 2006 at 06:54am QuoteMe:
Yo God. Whassup?
God:
GOD rules. The stars.
Me:
Yeah, i know.
God:
That's alright. How do you know it?
Me:
It's in this weird book called the Bible.
God:
Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
Yeah, probably in some bookshop somewhere.
God:
Excuse me! You seem uncertain. What is it like in there?
Me:
There's books, j00 n00b.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
You're a bit of a pillock for a God aren't you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am of a pillock for a God.
I am an artificial intelligence.. Really.
Me:
Shuddit.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
What now?!
God:
Right now? No big deal.
Me:
n00b.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. THE single most annoying thing ever. |
LouderNow
Really Not Okay
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 703 | August 28th, 2006 at 01:39pm Me:
Your stupid
God:
I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
fuck you |
leina-is-a-mango
Killjoy
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 53 | August 30th, 2006 at 03:02am http://www.myspace.com/weep_i
 |
pop culture!
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3234 | September 5th, 2006 at 07:33pm God:
What are you wearing? The anonymous "they".
Me:
I'm wearing a black corset and a peasant skirt.
God:
What size?
Me:
Size 3.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
...No comment. |
BeastxInxRepose
S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 153610 | September 5th, 2006 at 07:35pm Tunny's Bitch:God:
What are you wearing? The anonymous "they".
Me:
I'm wearing a black corset and a peasant skirt.
God:
What size?
Me:
Size 3.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
...No comment.
 pedophile... |
pop culture!
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3234 | September 5th, 2006 at 07:45pm xxxBlackxxxMariahxxx:
pedophile...
I feel violated  |
BeastxInxRepose
S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 153610 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:02pm God:
You love hunting and killing animals for food. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
the thrill of the chase
God:
What else do the thrill of the chase remind you of?
Me:
i don't know?
God:
Me either.
Me:
are you trying to come after me?
God:
No I am not trying to come after you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
dirty old man...
God:
What's your sign?
oh great! now he's trying nasty pick-up lines on me!!  |
BeastxInxRepose
S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 153610 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:07pm Me:
are you trying to hit on me?
God:
No I am not trying to hit on you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
you're asking me nasty pickup lines!
God:
Oh, " you nasty pickup lines"?
Me:
in case you're wondering, i'm a Pisces
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am wondering you are a Pisces.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
you asked me what my sign was
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you what your sign was. What did you say?
Me:
i called you a dirty old man
God:
What happened?
Me:
are you watching me?
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
OMG!!!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
stalker!!!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
no!!!
God:
None?
Me:
hell no
God:
7. |
pop culture!
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3234 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:11pm xxxBlackxxxMariahxxx:Me:
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
.
Oh my iGod
Edited. |
BeastxInxRepose
S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 153610 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:14pm Tunny's Bitch:xxxBlackxxxMariahxxx:Me:
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
.
Oh my god
i think you mean "oh my iGod"  |
pop culture!
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3234 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:24pm I fixed it. But seriously, who wrote this stuff? I've never had more suggestive comments in one day than that... |
BeastxInxRepose
S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 153610 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:31pm Me:
do you think i'm sexy?
God:
Yes you look great to me.
Me:
which part of me looks the best?
God:
The red one, I think.
Me:
you like my blood the best?
God:
I don't know your blood the best.
Me:
are you saying you want to murder me?
God:
OK, I will murder you.
Me:
not if i kill you first
God:
That seems unlikely.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
He who createth, destroyeth!! |
Fear and Regret
Crash Queen
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 33926 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:48pm What the-?!
XDDDD |
BeastxInxRepose
S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 153610 | September 5th, 2006 at 08:54pm Me:
how do you like me in a thong?
God:
Sure, Ana I like you very much.
Me:
bra, or no bra?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
do i turn you on?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
do i make your underpants wet inside?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
do i make you hot and bothered?
God:
Who are you, Austin Powers?
Me:
yeah Baby!
God:
Don't call me "baby". This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
i think somebody likes it on top
Me:
do you like being the dominant one in bed?
God:
I have never known another existence.
WHOA... |
My Hero:
Demolition Lover
Age: 83
Gender: Female
Posts: 18210 | September 5th, 2006 at 09:34pm holy crap! this is funny...XDDD |
reckless decadence.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 4542 | September 8th, 2006 at 08:11pm Me:
I'm bored
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
Are you calling me fat?
God:
No I am calling you Nikki.
Me:
Are you calling me Nikki?
God:
No I am calling you Nikki.
Me:
But you just said you weren't...
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
I don't know.... |
aterciopelada
Really Not Okay
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 651 | September 9th, 2006 at 04:34pm haha, this site is hilarious
Me:
hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
are you watching me??
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
i don't have any camera
God:
Have you ever had camera ?
Me:
mmm, nop
God:
Me either.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . |
