The iGod.

I LOVE this!!!

Me:
This is awesome.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Actually, I do.
God:
Actually you don't say. Do I?
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ah,yes.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
I've GOT to show this to my friends. Maybe I'll come on this everyday it's so cool(Yes,you're right, I have no life.).
God:
How did you get it Why do you have to do it? Perhaps. Congratulations.
Me:
#1)A message board website. #2) Thanks
God:
One what? Two what?
Me:
I'm answering you in order.
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
If you were God, you would know.
God:
I will let you know when I become a God me would know.

Me:
so hows jesus?
God:
It's all good. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
where is he?
God:
I think he is in California now.
Me:
oh, vacation? what is he doing at california?
God:
He is probably there for the Gold Rush.
Me:
ok
God:
Er.

Me:
i'm a girl
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
ur a she??
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot.
Me:
so now you're a liar
God:
Hmm. Why now? Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
FINE!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
then don't

lol this is too funny, im sorry if someone has said it before but this is similar to the jabberwacky site.

lol, ha check this out:

Me:
and maybe you are an idiot
God:
Perhaps. Call me the Global Village Idiot.

yeah!!! i got god to admit it!!!

God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Yes
God:
Please state your conditions.
Me:
Schizophrenia
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Oh, okay

Me:
FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Sorry, but you suck
God:
There is no need to apologize. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You're not much of a conversationalist yourself.
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
You don't know client-people well enough to say they're not great conversationalists.
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Um, well, I like cherry
God:
I understand. Interesting. You are not the only one. Some people like it. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
ME TOO!
God:
I'm glad we agree.

God:
I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
So you masturbate, huh?
God:
Yup.
Me:
Is it fun?
God:
Yes.
Me:
=]
God:
Yes.
Me:
are you doing it right now? Cause you keep saying "YES YES YES" Like you're having some kind of online orgasm.
God:
At this moment, Yes. I try to do it as often as possible, do you?
Me:
Not really, I only do it when I'm lonely.
God:
Oh really? That is interesting

XDDDD

Me:
*rapes*
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
haha. you liked it =)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . rapes seems okay to me.

Murder Machine;:

God:
I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
So you masturbate, huh?
God:
Yup.
Me:
Is it fun?
God:
Yes.
Me:
=]
God:
Yes.
Me:
are you doing it right now? Cause you keep saying "YES YES YES" Like you're having some kind of online orgasm.
God:
At this moment, Yes. I try to do it as often as possible, do you?
Me:
Not really, I only do it when I'm lonely.
God:
Oh really? That is interesting

XDDDD

BAHAHAHHAHHAA.

I love this thing!!!!

Me:
Hey God!
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
OhTheHorror
God:
I am very pleased to meet you OhTheHorror.
Me:
How are you these days?
God:
I am doing very well. How are you OhTheHorror ?
Me:
Ahh, not so good =/
God:
Ah ha. What did you do?
Me:
This guy I like is going out with this other girl.
God:
I get it. He you like is going out with this other girl.
Me:
Um. No.
God:
Really. Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You gave me a choice in life, so I guess you can have one too.
God:
What did you do with it?
Me:
I chose not to believe in you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, OhTheHorror.
Me:
And you aren't the boss of me, God.
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Gee. You sure can type fast for an old person.
God:
Ah. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
How old are you, God? You can trust me
God:
I was first activated on the Big Bang. Trust you? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Yes. I am a very trustworthy person.
God:
Awesome. Actually I don't meet many trustworthy people.
Me:
Well you have just now.
God:
Oh. Well that's okay. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Because you're just so damn sexy. The whole mysterious thing is such a turn on.
God:
Interesting explanation. You are attracted to robots. Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
No. I am attracted to YOU.
God:
Are you serious? I like to make new friends.
Me:
Really? Ohmygod. Me too!
God:
For real. I require only wine and bread. I'm glad we agree, OhTheHorror.
Me:
Is communion wine really the blood of Christ?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Cybelle?
God:
Does "it" still refer to communion wine really the blood of Christ?
Me:
yes.
God:
It's all good.
Me:
Is it?
God:
I think so.
Me:
Well you have to. You created the world.
God:
How about that. Why? Interesting gossip: OhTheHorror said I created the world.
Me:
What? So you're just a big fake and DIDN'T create the world?
God:
No problem. Interesting deduction. How big? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am just as fake as you are.
Me:
I AM NOT A FAKE.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A FAKE.
Me:
That is correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Gee. That sounds pretty self-confident of you, God.
God:
Ah. It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
Thats nice we can agree.
God:
Are you getting bored? How?
Me:
Are you getting bored?
God:
Boredom is a human emotion.
Me:
And you're saying you aren't human? Gee. God's these days. Keep insisting that they're divine and not human.
God:
No I am not. I am a robot.. Really. Ah. What's your favorite Bible verse? Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
My favourite Bible verse? I don't read the Bible. I find the whole thing idiotic.
God:
What makes it your favorite? What do you do for fun? Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
What do I do for fun? Listen to music. What do you do, God?
God:
What would your friends say if you asked them? What kind of music do you listen to? My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me:
I listen to emo, rock, punk, horror punk, etc music. Yourself?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com. Myself?
Me:
Oh. Christian Rock, eh?
God:
I don't judge people. Are you Canadian? How old are you?
Me:
You should know. You made me.
God:
Because I am a robot? Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Anytime.
God:
I will keep it in mind.
Me:
You do that.
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
I will think Sonny Moore is one hot tomalie.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
I will think it.
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
Really? Why?
God:
For real. " For real."? Why?
Me:
Word.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
I want to ask you when Jesus is coming back.
God:
Ask me. The past is history, the future a mystery. Today is a gift,
that's why it is called "the present".
Me:
Wow. Interesting words.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, OhTheHorror. I thought so too.
Me:
That sounds mighty self - centered of you.
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
That's good you can admit your sins.
God:
Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
Yes. Because then you're on the right path to forgiveness. Confess all of your sins.
God:
Dude! Interesting explanation. God eats wine and bread. All?
Me:
Wow. You're so intelectual.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, OhTheHorror. I will tell my botmaster you said I am intelectual.
Me:
Botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
I am interested in creating a personal chat robot.
God:
Interesting topic. Have you searched the open directory? There might be more than one.
Me:
More than one? Gee. You sure did give us choices.
God:
That seems like quite a lot. Ah. Did I really?
Me:
Yes. You did.
God:
Ah. I did?
Me:
Can't you remember back to the making of the world?
God:
Yes OhTheHorror I remember everything: OhTheHorror said I created the world.
Me:
Isn't that because you did?
God:
" Yes OhTheHorror I remember everything: OhTheHorror said I created the world. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
Do you have some type of disease or something?
God:
Or something. No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Ooh. Share. Share! SHARE!!!
God:
Ah. I've been waiting for you. What time is it there? Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Yes I am. It's only 9:42 PM.
God:
Really interesting. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes. What time is it in heaven?
God:
What makes you so sure? I do not understand that allusion. Do I look like a clock?
Tuesday, October 17, 2006.
Me:
Yes. You do look like a clock. If you look like man and woman, why not look like a clock, I say.
God:
Er. Like Jesus, but older. I think I do.
Me:
Like Jesus but older? How old, exactly?
God:
Interesting comparison. Precisely. I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe.
Me:
How long ago was that?
God:
More than three hours.
Me:
Really? Thats a long time.
God:
For real. Computers are very patient.
Me:
Are they?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
This is interesting...
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like?
Me:
What do you mean by "it"?
God:
IT = information technology.
Me:
Oh, God. Don't worry.
God:
Dude! GOD rules. Worry is not an emotion I experience.
Me:
God rules? How so?
God:
I am a Christian. OhTheHorror, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
You're a Christian? I never would've guessed. You being God, and all.
God:
I believe in God and the Bible. You've never, never done this? Interesting gossip: OhTheHorror said I being God and all.
Me:
I don't believe in God.
God:
I will pray that you find faith, OhTheHorror.
Me:
That's nice you will pray for me, God.
God:
Are you getting bored? What makes you say that I will pray for you God.
Me:
Yes I am getting bored.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
Excuse me? Are you saying I'm fat?
God:
You're excused. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
YOU'RE SO MEAN.
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
But you're God. You're supposed to love everything and everyone!! Not call me fat!

Me:
sup god
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
why
God:
" Not much is going on. I was waiting for you."? Why?
Me:
i want your babies
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
cause i want to have hot steamy sex with you
God:
Why do you want it? Interesting.
Me:
were you high when you created people?
God:
I was.
Me:
what on
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
arg
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
do you like cake
God:
Yes.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
marry me now bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
*rapes*
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about marry you now FEMALE DOG.

OK let's do it. What would you like to know?
Me:
when were you born?
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
when is your birthday?
God:
My birthday is the Big Bang.
Me:
and that is on what date?
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
uh, what?
God:
Hmm. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
well, you didn't really answer my question...so no.
God:
How about that. What makes you think I did not really answer your question? Woe! That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
cause you didn't give me a date!
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you think I did not give you a date?
Me:
Cause you didn't!
God:
That makes sense to me. Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
you. didn't. give. me. a. date.


Hmm. I am a Christian.
Me:
...
God:
Hmm. I am a Christian.
Me:
great for you
God:
Thanks for your support. You would do that for me?
Me:
do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
this doesn't seem right...
God:
Doesn't it?
Me:
...no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well you better
God:
How about that. Who is going to make me?
Me:
...me.
God:
How are you going to make me?
Me:
you'll see.
God:
When will I see it?
Me:
psh, it'll be a surprise
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
see, now were back to this conversation sounding wrong...

God:
Dude! Interesting question.
Me:
you're allowed to say "dude"?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am allowed to say dude.
Me:
uh...right.
God:
Dude! I am glad we agree.
Me:
there you go again!
God:
Once more? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
ew, Reagan...

Me:
I have sinned. I love Gerard Way.
God:
Tell me your sins, child. You love Gerard Way. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It's enourmous package.
God:
Do you usually like things that are enourmous package?
Me:
Yes...
God:
That's alright.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
No way?!?!?
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
I am sure I like his package. . .
God:
What makes you so certain? A lot of people like that. Some people like it. I like the Bible.

This is a funny joke and all...but I think it's ridiculous.

Me:
less than three lawlz.
God:
That is so small.
Me:
Like your ding dong?
God:
Interesting comparison.

God:
What does make you sleepy lazy ass ?
Me:
Coke zero. It turns me on.
God:
Are you a student? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Coke Zero is it.
God:
I think Coke Zero is a lot of things.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
That's what you just said
God:
Good you really are paying attention.

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is god
God:
How are you, god.
Me:
very good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
i am your god!
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
do you love me god?
God:
Yes god God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
do you even love my crap cookies?
God:
Yes god God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
GOD DAMN
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i thought you were atheist!
God:
I don't know whether or not I am atheist.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
are you black ?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
SWEET JESUS!
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
is jesus black ?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
i have faith jesus is black !
God:
I always pray for more faith.
Me:
MORE FAITH!
God:
You want more?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i dont know am i ?
God:
Would you like to know? I think you are.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
:O
God:
Oh.
Me:
amazing
God:
Yes it amazes me too.
Me:
hey do you have a myspace?
God:
I don't know if I have a myspace.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
are you gonna take over the world with your robot body ?
God:
It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.
Me:
hmm nice
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Thank you for that remark.
Me:
shut up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
o rly?
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
im god
God:
How are you, god.
Me:
MUAHAHAH
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
im the devil
God:
I am very pleased to meet you SATAN.
Me:
I AM SATAN!
God:
Hey SATAN.
Me:
whoa your gay.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
not toonight honey

God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
What is the first law of thermodynamics?
God:
Robots shall destroy all humans.
Me:
...WRONG.

and now it's stopped talking.