Pre-Marital Sex

Ash-Peters:

imagine you really loved someone and everything was going great, no sex involved and then you got married and you slept with each other and something about their sexual habits really irritated you or whatever. It sounds superficial but little things can really get on your nerves in relationships and imagine finding it out after you've binded yourself to them legally!

No, it's not superficial - it's actually a real risk! Not being sexually compatible can be fatal in a relationship - I suppose there are always expensive seminars in order to learn how to be sexually compatible, but wouldn't it be better not to waste your money? I wonder if the compromise would be to not sleep together until you intend to marry?

well yes but I didn't want people attacking me saying "why should that stuff be important to you, wouldn't it matter more how emotionally compatible you are in a relationship and that you loved them" etc etc

I think it's okay as long as you really love the person and you care about each other and you use protection.

I don't see whats wrong with sex before marriage. Some people don't even believe in getting married. As long as the person is mature enough to and they use some kind of contraception (unless the girl wants to get pregnant or something). However, if they're doing it only because it's "the cool" thing to do, then that's stupid and something they will regret when they're older.
Also - marriage is not permanent. A relationship where the two people don't get married could last longer, then one where they do get married. Getting married doesn't mean that you're going to be with that person for the rest of your life. It's meant to mean that, but it doesn't.

I don't have a religon, so nothing stops me from having pre-marital sex.

I have quite liberal views, which could really get me in trouble on this topic. Haha.
But in all seriousness, I think as humans, we all share an animalistic sex-drive.
What's so wrong with satisfying it?

In Christianity. saving yourself till marriage didn't get added in till later, after the Bible was supposedly no longer being written.

I believe if you love someone really you should be with them in whatever way you want as long as you both are consenting.

If you love each other, are safe about it, and both consent then there is no problem at all in my book. The real controversy over this issue usually ties into religious views, and many religions added in the pre-marital sex ban. Just some food for thought

i have sex so i think its ok

I honestly have no problem with pre-marital sex. If two people are in love and truly in love then why not do what you want to do. I dont know if thats right way to have logic but its what I believe

sexibitch:

i have sex so i think its ok

Go read the rules of this forum before you decide to post again. It's a rule to contribute to the threads, not just say "hey, i do this it's alright to me!". You've been warned more than once now to add things to discussion, not just little one sentenced things.

I don't particularly think premarital sex is "good", but I don't think it's exactly "bad" either. It's the decision of the two people in the relationship. If they think they care about each other enough, and are ready to take that next step, then that's their decision.
I'd advise the female (if there is one) to use birth control though, as to not get pregnant.

As for my religion, I'm a non-practicing Roman Catholic, and the religion is very against the practice of sex before marriage. Also, if you end up pregnant with the person because of it, then you're supposedly committing a mortal sin, but that's slightly off topic, so I won't go on further with it.

Personally, I think that that's a load of bull. (Not to offend anyone who thinks otherwise)

Next topic: Society.
It seems like society, or the part of society I'm around, looks down on premarital sex for anyone under age 17. So if two 15 year olds are having sex, everyone will think bad about them. They may not say it, but they'll think it. Sex itself just seems to have bad connotations about it for some strange reason, unless you're over 17, then no one seems to care anymore. As for general premarital sex, it seems to be becoming a more and more accepted thing to do. There's some people who have sex with their significant other after knowing them for about a week, and no one ever seems to mind.

Overall, I'd say I'm okay with it.

Harlequin Hearted:

It seems like society, or the part of society I'm around, looks down on premarital sex for anyone under age 17. So if two 15 year olds are having sex, everyone will think bad about them. They may not say it, but they'll think it. Sex itself just seems to have bad connotations about it for some strange reason, unless you're over 17, then no one seems to care anymore.

Well, in some parts of the world it's illegal for people under 17 to have sex. So perhaps that's why.

Mindfuck:

Well, in some parts of the world it's illegal for people under 17 to have sex. So perhaps that's why.

...True. I kind of forgot about that.
I think the exact legal age around where I am is 18, but you're still right.

I mainly just made that point because a lot of things, along with sex, are more accepted once you're 17 (drinking, smoking, etc.) around here.

But I'm not going to expand on that, because I don't want to get banned from the topic or anything for straying off topic.

But yes, I do see your point.

Harlequin Hearted:

But I'm not going to expand on that, because I don't want to get banned from the topic or anything for straying off topic.

I'm impressed that a user with only 7 posts is concerned with staying on-topic, really, but don't worry that much - you can touch on tangents here and there in these threads, just use your better judgment to keep it from getting out of hand.

Joker:

I guess it probably comes down to how serious the couple are about their relationship. ... sometimes it's used to gain momentary pleasure.

So, what about a pair of adults who are NOT romantically involved, let alone married, who have consensual, no-strings-attached sex? Technically that's still 'pre-marital'. Is *that* bad? As you say, sometimes sex has little to do with an expression of emotional intimacy, and a lot more to do with 'momentary gaining of pleasure'. Thoughts?

Cigarettes And Suicide:

So, what about a pair of adults who are NOT romantically involved, let alone married, who have consensual, no-strings-attached sex? Technically that's still 'pre-marital'. Is *that* bad? As you say, sometimes sex has little to do with an expression of emotional intimacy, and a lot more to do with 'momentary gaining of pleasure'. Thoughts?

Ah, thing is I was aiming it at ~teens~ rather than adults, so I sort of overlooked that.
I don't think it's a bad thing when two consenting adults do have casual sex actually.As merlin said, as long as they're doing it safely ( and even if they're not) it's up to them, since they're at an age where they should be able to decide for themselves what is right and wrong.

Just to maybe add another little something into the discussion, despite what I already said...
Pre-teens and teens are driven by impulsive choices because the part of the brain that controls those is not fully developed yet.
So in all honesty, even though I am only 17 and am in a monogomous relationship that involves sex with my boyfriend, science proves that at times we are completely incapable as adolescents to think everything through.