Cheating

I see your point. When your in love, even if it's fake, it just seems right... If you've ever been in love, you know what i mean... and what I meant by it being none of your biz was that I didn't mean for you to really comment about that... This is spam... If you want to continue this convo, e-mail me.

okie, so theres this boy that i'm dating, and we've
dated a few times now, and last year we dated for 4 months.
and this past sunday, he told me that a year ago, he cheated on me.

so now i'm like whoa!
and we're still together, and everythings like yeah.
i guess i'm really confused, any advice.

alex fucking andra:

okie, so theres this boy that i'm dating, and we've
dated a few times now, and last year we dated for 4 months.
and this past sunday, he told me that a year ago, he cheated on me.

so now i'm like whoa!
and we're still together, and everythings like yeah.
i guess i'm really confused, any advice.

Im sorry, this doesnt belong here.
This would more belong in Personal Questions.
Please read the rules and welcome to INO

As above. please read the rules for the discussion form. If you want personal advice please go to the personal questions sub forum. thanks.

For a very long time I've thought that cheating proves the disrespect and lack of love of the cheater for their partner. I've always believed that someone who loves their partner has no reason to cheat on them.
And then....
Then I became "the other woman"...... actually, it was a one night stand. He said that the reason was the fact that their sex life is going through a rough patch for the moment. So, he still cares for her, he still respects her and would hate to see her hurt.

So, my point is, cheating doesn't always mean disrespect for the relationship, it can have other causes. And I believe that, if people really love each other, they can get over such mistakes.

i just found out this morning
that i got cheated on again, for the third time
within a year of an on and off relationship.

Ilovehellokitty:

i just found out this morning
that i got cheated on again, for the third time
within a year of an on and off relationship.

Please only post here if your going to contribute to the discussion.

I don't think that once a cheater, always a cheater is always true.
If someone cheated on their partner and never got caught for it, and they broke up for different reasons... Then sure they might keep doing it, if they enjoyed it during their previous relationship.

But people can change, not all cheaters are bad people. They might slip up once, and get dumped because of it, and lose something really special to them. That would persuade them not to cheat again.

Mindfuck:

What do you think of the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? Do you think that's true; that they won't change?
I'm curious to know other people's responses.

I used to think that, when I was younger, but I have since decided that nothing is that black and white.

In general I would say that if at all possible cheating should probably be avoided. It's not always as simple as that though. As for being disrespectful, probably yes, but from experience I can say that some people don't deserve any respect. When I cheated on an ex partner it was because I was too terrified of the guy to try and break things off. This guy never lifted his hands to me but put me through mental cruelty for years, he would tell me who I could go out with, what I could wear, he would smash up the house when he lost his temper, etc, etc. I had met a guy a really wanted to be with (my present husband) but honestly felt if I tried to break things off with my ex he might attack me. In the end I built up the courage to break things off, just couldn't live like that any more. After trying to get back with me for a few months my ex eventually gave up.
I've also been on the other side. My first husband cheated on me and we broke up over it.
So, yeah I've been on both sides and as I said, it's not always as straightforward as just being right or wrong. It really depends on people's circumstances.

for me i havent been on both sides. i've actually been the one to cheat. my second boyfrend said the usual "I love you." and i felt the same. but after a while i admitted that things weren't going the way i expected them to. he would flirt with other girls and i got very jealous. we broke off a few times but always got back on track.
but after a while one of my close frends said he loved me as well and that he always had. i felt so confused but i thought..."Hm...maybe i'll give it a shot."
so me and him began going out while i was still with my ex. the main reason i never saud anything was because i was afraid. he wouldnt hurt me but i was afraid to loose things and change routine i guess u could call it.
but the more i thought back the more i realized that we werent meant to be. well my ex found out on his own. he wanted me back but now im with my current bf. me and my ex dont speak and maybe its better that way. my curent bf cheated on his ex for me as well. so 2 cheaters dating, that should be fun. but i really do love him and he loves me too. hopefully we'll stay strong.
so bassically cheating is cheating. its wrong, its right. its confusing. just make sure u can get ur priorities straight.

Dont cheat... simple

Lonlymaiden:

some a$$ hole who says "i LOVE YOu" to them one minute then turns around and screws someone else.......

hell yeah! I cheated on someone, but both people broke up with without knowing, then this guy cheated on me... damn, i felt so bad i had to call my two ex's and say sorry, though they never even knew...

It is disrespectful. I know that sometimes people make a mistake and give in to temptation, but it still isn't right. if a married man is in love with a woman other than his lover, he should at least have the decency to break up with his wife first, (and vice-versa).

i hate cheaters!!! to me most guys are liers nd only want somewhere to put thier dic*s

sexibitch:

i hate cheaters!!! to me most guys are liers nd only want somewhere to put thier dic*s

Way to generalize. Woman cheat just as much as men, there both as bad as each other.

I used to completely hate cheaters. Then I fell for a guy who was in a relationship.
and I now see the other side.
We hooked up and I was the "other woman" and it sucked.
Even though I understand it, being the other woman really made me see that if you are willing to hook up with someone else, someone who clearly likes you, then something is wrong in your relationship and you should at least look at it more carefully.
If you want someone you are not dating, maybe the relationship you are in isn't good. Cheating is a sign.